DiscussionShould asexuals in gay relationships be in LGB?

submitted by RedditHatesLesbiansHomosexual Not Queer from self.LGBDropTheT

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[–]haveanicedaytoo💗💜💙 20 insightful - 2 fun20 insightful - 1 fun21 insightful - 2 fun -  (3 children)

There's two things:

1 - There's what people call themselves (asexual homoromantic)

2 - and there's what people actually are (a dude dating another dude, but has no libido and no sex life, and the partner is okay with it. And by the way plenty of LGB and S couples are like that, especially as they get older.) Does it really need a special label beyond "gay guy"?)

Looking at it from the angle of #2, I have no clue why this person would choose to label himself "asexual homoromantic" rather than just "Gay guy" like... It's none of our business if they have sex or not. People are always saying how this stuff is none of our business but then they want to make it our business whenever it's convenient to them (this is more a rant towards Trans people who both get mad about people wanting to know if they had the surgery and also announcing to the world how delicious their girldicks are. It's almost like it's only fun to give us this information when we have to receive it against our wills.)

I can see why you would want to say just being "homoromantic" wouldn't be gay, since the definition of gay is "homosexual" and where's the "sex" here? But idk, if two dudes are dating each other, and are in love with each other, that's "gay" enough for me. I'd draw the line at a sugarbaby/daddy or gay-for-pay situation where a straight guy is dating a gay guy, because there is no "homoromantic" in that scenario, but... Yeah, so we're definitely working off different definitions there.

[–]RedditHatesLesbiansHomosexual Not Queer[S] 10 insightful - 1 fun10 insightful - 0 fun11 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

I think people call themselves asexual as an identifier. It's a simple way to let people know what you're looking for on a date or on a dating app - a sexless relationship. An asexuals experiences are also unique in terms of sexual attraction so I can understand them wanting a community to discuss their experiences in, and the label asexual allows them to find other people like that easily.

[–]haveanicedaytoo💗💜💙 14 insightful - 1 fun14 insightful - 0 fun15 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Oh definitely, it's good for them to use it when they're looking for partners/friends, but I just meant specifically in the hypothetical with the guy who already has a boyfriend. At that point, he's part of team LGB. Of course he can still identify as A and be active in AVEN or whatever, but his A doesn't need to be a part of LGB because he's already a part of LGB.

What grinds my gears are the asexuals who have sex (I don't mean have it unwillinly to please their partners, I mean they are 'asexual' but they want sex and have sex. Like.............................. Dude. Come on. Just let the actual asexuals have their label without ruining it for them!)

[–]reluctant_commenter 8 insightful - 1 fun8 insightful - 0 fun9 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

It's almost like it's only fun to give us this information when we have to receive it against our wills.

Yup, nailed it.