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[–]florasisHOMOSEXUAL FEMALE/Pussy is my God and I'm monotheist 79 insightful - 9 fun79 insightful - 8 fun80 insightful - 9 fun -  (5 children)

"So i personally get uncomfortable when i see "lesbophobia" because its very often a word thrown around by TERFs to invalidate trans people of all varieties. Its something that was coopted into their rhetoric and that probably is part of why no one talks about it."

You feel uncomfortable about real lesbians, meaning homosexual women who don't want to have anything to do with dick. You only accept fake lesbianism, which is actually bisexuality, validating your delusions.

[–]oofreesouloo⚡super lesbian⚡ 43 insightful - 3 fun43 insightful - 2 fun44 insightful - 3 fun -  (4 children)

Exacly! They do not realise OR do not WANT to realise that the reason that place is soooo trans inclusive is because there are there plenty of bi women (who actually like d*ck and validate them uwu).

[–]yousaythosethingsFind and Replace "gatekeeping" with "having boundaries"[S] 34 insightful - 1 fun34 insightful - 0 fun35 insightful - 1 fun -  (3 children)

It would help if everyone were required to have flair or idk identify honestly but there are so many shitty bi women constantly speaking on behalf of lesbians. I have zero issue with bi women at all or having a bi partner, but this type has perhaps unintentionally created a monster by constantly telling TW that lesbians will be attracted to them without ever disclosing that they are bi other their post history giving it away and having that thought in the first place. If lesbians were allowed to be honest as the gay men in askgaybros are and speak on our own behalf, there would be a lot less delusion and it would save TW from a lot of pain down the line.

[–]writerlylesbian 30 insightful - 1 fun30 insightful - 0 fun31 insightful - 1 fun -  (2 children)

Yes, quite frankly, this has been a huge problem going on for years. I know of a lesbian festival that ended up in a huge legal mess years ago because a bisexual woman who called herself a lesbian wanted to take her male partner (transwoman), and the organisers said no, and then said man sued the festival for discrimination (and lost, but only on a technicality. Court actually agreed he'd been unfairly discriminated against by lesbians).

I do think though that as unfair as it is, the onus is on lesbians to stand our ground and call this stuff out. Things have gotten so bad because of years of lesbians being kind and nice and not drawing a hard line around lesbian-only spaces and telling everyone else to get out (the bisexuals, the celibate straight women etc.)

Obviously in LGB spaces or spaces that are for lesbians and bi women, then that's completely different, no issues with bisexual women in those spaces. But I think lesbians really have to bite the bullet and learn to be 'meeeean' about having hard boundaries around lesbian-only spaces.

[–]haveanicedaytoo💗💜💙 14 insightful - 1 fun14 insightful - 0 fun15 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

I do think though that as unfair as it is, the onus is on lesbians to stand our ground and call this stuff out.

As a bisexual, I really wish there was more I and other bisexuals could do, but beyond publicly shaming them (for example by writing comments such as this or confronting them directly with comments like 'did you know that the definition of 'lesbian' includes not gobbling cock and liking it?' which doesn't get received very well, surprisingly.) I don't know if there's much else we can do. These women call themselves 'lesbians' and I don't even really want to tell them 'shut up, you're bi!' because 1- it becomes 'how dare you bi-splain my sexuality to me, RRREEEEE???' and 2- they're annoying and have internalized biphobia and I really don't even want to claim them (that's why I'm like, 'nope, these are obviously pansexuals' they're just too cringy.)

I think both L's and B's need to stand together and be like "the definition of 'lesbian' is this very very specific thing. NO EXCPTIONS. Just because you don't want to call yourself bisexual doesn't mean you get to steal someone else's label and shit all over it. Go ruin pansexuality and leave us alone!" (That last sentence is optional for you L's. If you want to say 'GTFO and go make the B's miserable instead', I don't blame you.)

[–]writerlylesbian 11 insightful - 1 fun11 insightful - 0 fun12 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

I think both L's and B's need to stand together and be like "the definition of 'lesbian' is this very very specific thing. NO EXCPTIONS.

I think this is helpful, though. Doesn't hurt for the G's to join in defending lesbians, either. This is pretty much the approach taken by the new LGB Alliance, where they recognise the pressures that lesbians in particular are facing and are very clear about what a lesbian is. Because this nonsense has been going on for so long, and spread so far, it's going to take a lot of basic repetition before the narrative starts to shift.

And some of these problems are mixed up with both women and men treating 'lesbian' as a porn fantasy. The mainstream media will happily run articles all day every day about 'lesbians' who have boyfriends, because that is cool and fun and sexy whereas women saying no to men is a hate crime, obvs. Calling it out won't necessarily stop them doing it, but it makes it clear that lesbians are not happy about being misappropriated in that way.

Hasn't bisexuality joined the list of transphobic sexualities anyway? Hopefully that means all the attention-seeking sorts won't want to be viewed that way anymore, and can all go be omnisexuals or whatever crazy word they're using now.