Lesbians on r/AL actually try to discuss the issue of Lesbophobia. Mod locks the thread of course.

submitted by yousaythosethingsFind and Replace "gatekeeping" with "having boundaries" from reddit.com

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[–]florasisHOMOSEXUAL FEMALE/Pussy is my God and I'm monotheist 79 insightful - 9 fun79 insightful - 8 fun80 insightful - 9 fun -  (30 children)

"So i personally get uncomfortable when i see "lesbophobia" because its very often a word thrown around by TERFs to invalidate trans people of all varieties. Its something that was coopted into their rhetoric and that probably is part of why no one talks about it."

You feel uncomfortable about real lesbians, meaning homosexual women who don't want to have anything to do with dick. You only accept fake lesbianism, which is actually bisexuality, validating your delusions.

[–]oofreesouloo⚡super lesbian⚡ 43 insightful - 3 fun43 insightful - 2 fun44 insightful - 3 fun -  (18 children)

Exacly! They do not realise OR do not WANT to realise that the reason that place is soooo trans inclusive is because there are there plenty of bi women (who actually like d*ck and validate them uwu).

[–]yousaythosethingsFind and Replace "gatekeeping" with "having boundaries"[S] 34 insightful - 1 fun34 insightful - 0 fun35 insightful - 1 fun -  (15 children)

It would help if everyone were required to have flair or idk identify honestly but there are so many shitty bi women constantly speaking on behalf of lesbians. I have zero issue with bi women at all or having a bi partner, but this type has perhaps unintentionally created a monster by constantly telling TW that lesbians will be attracted to them without ever disclosing that they are bi other their post history giving it away and having that thought in the first place. If lesbians were allowed to be honest as the gay men in askgaybros are and speak on our own behalf, there would be a lot less delusion and it would save TW from a lot of pain down the line.

[–]oofreesouloo⚡super lesbian⚡ 35 insightful - 7 fun35 insightful - 6 fun36 insightful - 7 fun -  (1 child)

I don't mind at all about the existence of wlw spaces. But for me, it's really important to have also a 'cis' lesbians only space. It was so hard for me to fully accept myself and not feel shame and the least I want to hear about is dick FFS. I WANT TO TALK ABOUT WOMEN AND NO FREAKING DICKS. I don't give a shit if this is 'triggering' to some people, I too deserve to be happy and have my spaces. I already hear about freaking men and d*ck on a DAILY BASIS, I have currently literally NO ONE to share my attraction with women (WOMEN BEING BIOLOGICAL WOMEN, BOOBS, PUSSY, YES THAT'S WHAT BEING ATTRACTED TO WOMEN IS). I'm angry LMAO.

[–]yousaythosethingsFind and Replace "gatekeeping" with "having boundaries"[S] 24 insightful - 1 fun24 insightful - 0 fun25 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Coming to terms with the fact I’m a lesbian in large part involved coming to terms with the fact that my strong attraction to pussy, boobs, women’s bodies in general, etc. and my lack of interest in men wasn’t me being a creepy perv fetishist but just me having a homosexual orientation. I never understood why I had such a strong sex drive that seemed to die when I thought about or was around men. What a disappointment it was to enter the LGBT “community” and try to find people who felt the same way only to learn that I still can’t talk about that shit. But fetishizing women doing their jobs is apparently PC. . . .

When I told my straight friends about this they were at first reluctant to believe just how bad it is, but they are sympathetic. Now that their ears are to the ground, they have verified they are hearing about the same thing from others and are horrified.

[–]florasisHOMOSEXUAL FEMALE/Pussy is my God and I'm monotheist 33 insightful - 7 fun33 insightful - 6 fun34 insightful - 7 fun -  (3 children)

Askgaybros isn't moderates by a bunch of crazy transmen wanting them to like boypussy

[–]deliciousdogfoodmy name isnt a puppyplay reference i swear 27 insightful - 10 fun27 insightful - 9 fun28 insightful - 10 fun -  (2 children)

God I hate the term boypussy. So very much. If I heard it during sex I'm pretty sure my dick would retreat into my body and never return.

I can only imagine how uncomfortable it must be for lesbians to have the concept of girldick constantly shoved in their faces.

[–]CJLez 11 insightful - 3 fun11 insightful - 2 fun12 insightful - 3 fun -  (1 child)

The very worst one I ever heard was...

"Clit on a stick"

[–]florasisHOMOSEXUAL FEMALE/Pussy is my God and I'm monotheist 34 insightful - 1 fun34 insightful - 0 fun35 insightful - 1 fun -  (5 children)

Yeah, recently I wacthed a video of a bi video about lesbian sex, and she mentioned something to do with balls lol I got no problem with bisexuals, in fact the only woman I've loved since now was bisexual, but bisexual idiots calling themselves lesbians or trying to include dick into lesbianism are fucking cancer. The reality is they cannot never understand what it means to being actual lesbian, someone who got zero attraction toward male

[–]yousaythosethingsFind and Replace "gatekeeping" with "having boundaries"[S] 23 insightful - 1 fun23 insightful - 0 fun24 insightful - 1 fun -  (3 children)

Omg what. Balls?! I don’t even want to know, do I? I’m reminded of one of those creepy TW-created sex guides directed at young lesbians that talked about some disturbing act called “muffing” which is . . .vomit warning . . . apparently fingering some kind of canal behind the scrotum. I wanted to barf. Somehow I don’t think any group other than lesbians is getting that in their sex guide.

[–]florasisHOMOSEXUAL FEMALE/Pussy is my God and I'm monotheist 15 insightful - 1 fun15 insightful - 0 fun16 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

Yeah, that's exactly what she was talkibg about. Made me want to vomit.

[–]wafflegaffWoman. SuperBi. 14 insightful - 3 fun14 insightful - 2 fun15 insightful - 3 fun -  (0 children)

There really shouldn't be any videos about lesbian sex that discuss balls. (Cue a thousand horrified-expression GIFs.) Any bisexual person who is literate should be able to understand this. Unless, of course, they have given in to the TRA delusions and bullying. And if they are making a video for "lesbians" who like male bodies, then they should probably at least specify that in the description so no one is surprised who still thought the word "lesbian" had a simple, clear definition to everyone who uses the term.

[–]MyLongestJourney 8 insightful - 1 fun8 insightful - 0 fun9 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

I’m reminded of one of those creepy TW-created sex guides directed at young lesbians that talked about some disturbing act called “muffing” which is . . .vomit warning . . . apparently fingering some kind of canal behind the scrotum.

🤮🤮🤮

[–]BigMommyMilkersYes, they're real 6 insightful - 1 fun6 insightful - 0 fun7 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

There was a Heathline article written by a bi woman about lesbian sex which included anal and pregnancy, bi women are often just as bad as TRAs with this homophobic crap

[–]writerlylesbian 30 insightful - 1 fun30 insightful - 0 fun31 insightful - 1 fun -  (2 children)

Yes, quite frankly, this has been a huge problem going on for years. I know of a lesbian festival that ended up in a huge legal mess years ago because a bisexual woman who called herself a lesbian wanted to take her male partner (transwoman), and the organisers said no, and then said man sued the festival for discrimination (and lost, but only on a technicality. Court actually agreed he'd been unfairly discriminated against by lesbians).

I do think though that as unfair as it is, the onus is on lesbians to stand our ground and call this stuff out. Things have gotten so bad because of years of lesbians being kind and nice and not drawing a hard line around lesbian-only spaces and telling everyone else to get out (the bisexuals, the celibate straight women etc.)

Obviously in LGB spaces or spaces that are for lesbians and bi women, then that's completely different, no issues with bisexual women in those spaces. But I think lesbians really have to bite the bullet and learn to be 'meeeean' about having hard boundaries around lesbian-only spaces.

[–]haveanicedaytoo💗💜💙 14 insightful - 1 fun14 insightful - 0 fun15 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

I do think though that as unfair as it is, the onus is on lesbians to stand our ground and call this stuff out.

As a bisexual, I really wish there was more I and other bisexuals could do, but beyond publicly shaming them (for example by writing comments such as this or confronting them directly with comments like 'did you know that the definition of 'lesbian' includes not gobbling cock and liking it?' which doesn't get received very well, surprisingly.) I don't know if there's much else we can do. These women call themselves 'lesbians' and I don't even really want to tell them 'shut up, you're bi!' because 1- it becomes 'how dare you bi-splain my sexuality to me, RRREEEEE???' and 2- they're annoying and have internalized biphobia and I really don't even want to claim them (that's why I'm like, 'nope, these are obviously pansexuals' they're just too cringy.)

I think both L's and B's need to stand together and be like "the definition of 'lesbian' is this very very specific thing. NO EXCPTIONS. Just because you don't want to call yourself bisexual doesn't mean you get to steal someone else's label and shit all over it. Go ruin pansexuality and leave us alone!" (That last sentence is optional for you L's. If you want to say 'GTFO and go make the B's miserable instead', I don't blame you.)

[–]writerlylesbian 11 insightful - 1 fun11 insightful - 0 fun12 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

I think both L's and B's need to stand together and be like "the definition of 'lesbian' is this very very specific thing. NO EXCPTIONS.

I think this is helpful, though. Doesn't hurt for the G's to join in defending lesbians, either. This is pretty much the approach taken by the new LGB Alliance, where they recognise the pressures that lesbians in particular are facing and are very clear about what a lesbian is. Because this nonsense has been going on for so long, and spread so far, it's going to take a lot of basic repetition before the narrative starts to shift.

And some of these problems are mixed up with both women and men treating 'lesbian' as a porn fantasy. The mainstream media will happily run articles all day every day about 'lesbians' who have boyfriends, because that is cool and fun and sexy whereas women saying no to men is a hate crime, obvs. Calling it out won't necessarily stop them doing it, but it makes it clear that lesbians are not happy about being misappropriated in that way.

Hasn't bisexuality joined the list of transphobic sexualities anyway? Hopefully that means all the attention-seeking sorts won't want to be viewed that way anymore, and can all go be omnisexuals or whatever crazy word they're using now.

[–]Gearbeta 12 insightful - 2 fun12 insightful - 1 fun13 insightful - 2 fun -  (1 child)

Really we need more wlw spaces that just boot out the bi women who can't stop talking about dick. Like you don't belong there. We can keep the bi women who are serious about having relationships with women (if they are HONEST about being bisexual) and the dick obsessed ones can go to the thousands of other areas for them to talk about heterosexual attraction. And lesbians should have an area just for them separate from the wlw spaces as well.

[–]wafflegaffWoman. SuperBi. 3 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 0 fun4 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

I will happily stand guard outside your WLW (no dick talk) / lesbian spaces to keep the inconsiderate, obtuse people out.

[–][deleted] 22 insightful - 3 fun22 insightful - 2 fun23 insightful - 3 fun -  (10 children)

Those people are fake bi too, believe me. I don’t know any bisexuals who are down with this shit. Funny thing, bi women I know are way less likely to date anyone trans. Lesbians sometimes date trans dudes that were “lesbians” before transition, but most of the bi women I’ve met are like NO WAY to either trans.

[–]haveanicedaytoo💗💜💙 18 insightful - 8 fun18 insightful - 7 fun19 insightful - 8 fun -  (6 children)

Yeah, that's the thing. If I want to date a penis-haver, I'd just date a regular dude. Dating a trans identified male is.............. a very acquired taste, let's say...

[–][deleted] 21 insightful - 10 fun21 insightful - 9 fun22 insightful - 10 fun -  (5 children)

Yeah my best friend is a bi woman who is married to a woman, but she was seriously like “why the fuck would I want to date a man with no dick and a woman with no pussy? Plus, what they have is all fucked up from hormones and probably doesn’t work, and they probably don’t want me to touch it, and they probably have weird rules. That’s crazy talk” lol

I can kind of see what she means.

[–]wafflegaffWoman. SuperBi. 14 insightful - 5 fun14 insightful - 4 fun15 insightful - 5 fun -  (4 children)

All of the above. The real thing only, please, either way. I do not want to play "let's pretend." I really suck at maintaining the suspension of disbelief, which would not be fun for me or them. So let's not.

[–][deleted] 12 insightful - 3 fun12 insightful - 2 fun13 insightful - 3 fun -  (3 children)

Yeah, and honestly, I feel bad for bisexuals because they are expected to accommodate BOTH female-to-male and male-to-female transsexuals. They are literally expected to choose both. Lol. Lesbians are hounded by one

[–]wafflegaffWoman. SuperBi. 4 insightful - 3 fun4 insightful - 2 fun5 insightful - 3 fun -  (2 children)

Now that you put it that way it sounds even worse, lol, thanks. NOPE and NOPE.

[–][deleted] 8 insightful - 2 fun8 insightful - 1 fun9 insightful - 2 fun -  (1 child)

Lol. Some of my trans friend are like “I guess I’ll go for bi girls....” and I just quietly sit there until I can’t handle it anymore like “so, the thing about the bi women I know, in particular...well...they are pretty standard in liking the people they date to be okay with the parts they were born with and being able to comfortably name them and stuff.....I think it’s part of being bi, to come to accept being into women and men as they are and that it’s fine....because they have to accept themselves when everyone else is monosexual. I dunno...”

Most trans guys I know have better luck with straight women, which seems weird I guess

[–]wafflegaffWoman. SuperBi. 4 insightful - 1 fun4 insightful - 0 fun5 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

LOL, thank you for helping us out. It is not easy to explain to a naive, childlike adult that they failed to do enough market research before offering up non-standard wares for sale to people who generally are looking for the standard stuff. None of us is going to have success if we wander into the wrong market with what we have to sell or go to the wrong store looking for what we'd like to buy. As every LGB person on this planet well knows. Our annoying kid brother over here (the new, loud, non-dysphoric / incel / narcissist / AGP variety, that is), on the other hand, still thinks he's the best thing evar and everyone had better go along with that or there will be trouble. Ya got two hands, kiddo—use 'em like the rest of us have to sometimes. Sheesh.

As for the trans men, considering how many straight women wish their gay male friends (typically more emotionally available, better at grooming, etc.—at least that's the case when I hear these comments made) were available to date, this kinda makes sense. It is probably a nice change of pace for them to have someone around they can avoid thinking of as a woman, who also understands a lot more about being a woman than any man ever will.

[–]LasagnaRossa 14 insightful - 1 fun14 insightful - 0 fun15 insightful - 1 fun -  (2 children)

I'm one of those bisexuals too. I'm attracted to men and women, not some odd mix. If I wanted the main characteristics of the other sex, I'd go with the other sex, it's that simple.

[–][deleted] 10 insightful - 3 fun10 insightful - 2 fun11 insightful - 3 fun -  (1 child)

Yeah, but they assume bisexuals are gonna be open with a Mr. Potato Head mixup situation. Lol.

[–]wafflegaffWoman. SuperBi. 4 insightful - 1 fun4 insightful - 0 fun5 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Yeah, but they assume bisexuals are gonna be open with a Mr. Potato Head mixup situation. Lol.

dying

[–]Revision10Just a guy 37 insightful - 28 fun37 insightful - 27 fun38 insightful - 28 fun -  (6 children)

mod post: I'm genuinely shocked that we haven't had more discussion of it, I've seen discussion occasionally but not much. I highly encourage people to discuss it more, feel free to post about it. That's what this community is here for.

This post has been locked

[–][deleted] 22 insightful - 1 fun22 insightful - 0 fun23 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Yeah, can’t have anyone thinkin for themselves, can they. Those lesbians in the comments have every right to be fucking sick of it all.

[–]lxit09 18 insightful - 3 fun18 insightful - 2 fun19 insightful - 3 fun -  (1 child)

So infuriating! Also the defence of 'bi/pan lesbians' no no no. Lesbian doesn't have a pre or suffix. It's one word with one definition dammit.

[–]LasagnaRossa 10 insightful - 1 fun10 insightful - 0 fun11 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Imagine if there was the word "pan straight" for straight men who enjoy dating other men too... they would riot. In the meanwhile, the lgbt community has to keep silent and not point out the obvious.

[–]yousaythosethingsFind and Replace "gatekeeping" with "having boundaries"[S] 15 insightful - 8 fun15 insightful - 7 fun16 insightful - 8 fun -  (1 child)

Poetic juxtaposition.

Shocked. Genuinely shocked.

[–]oofreesouloo⚡super lesbian⚡ 37 insightful - 7 fun37 insightful - 6 fun38 insightful - 7 fun -  (5 children)

God, lesbians there are so clueless it hurts my eyes lmao! One said: " Especially the amount of straight cis dudes that have recently felt comfortable commenting about our internal community issues?", but she wasn't the only one referring the straight guys. Omg, so clueless 🤣

[–][deleted] 28 insightful - 17 fun28 insightful - 16 fun29 insightful - 17 fun -  (4 children)

It’s like every comment they are making, every lesbian on there, is being made around a giant girl-dick centrepiece in the middle of the table at the party, and women have to keep pretending it’s not there.

Like HEY BITCHES, THE EMPRESS HAS A PENIS, stop pretending you don’t see it. Or that there is a elephant-sized penis in the room. None of the comments they are making have any weight when they are in dick-matrix

[–]oofreesouloo⚡super lesbian⚡ 31 insightful - 1 fun31 insightful - 0 fun32 insightful - 1 fun -  (2 children)

😂😂😂😂😂 I've just seen RIGHT NOW a lesbian asking if it was okay for her not to like penises 🤦‍♀️ I swear to God, we're living in a really bad nightmare. And this lesbian was a victim of rape. The answers? "Get therapy", "genital preferences are bs" https://www.reddit.com/r/actuallesbians/comments/i1i2s9/lesbian_and_dont_like_pnises_does_this_make_me/

I pmed her, but now real lesbians are terrified of being perceived as TERFS 😅

[–]reluctant_commenter 21 insightful - 1 fun21 insightful - 0 fun22 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

DUDE! This was LITERALLY ME a month ago!!!!

Not that I am this same person. But, I could have written this post.

I swear to god. I am not sure what I would have done if I hadn't found you guys lol.

[–][deleted] 12 insightful - 1 fun12 insightful - 0 fun13 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Ugggghhhhh gross

[–]yousaythosethingsFind and Replace "gatekeeping" with "having boundaries"[S] 7 insightful - 1 fun7 insightful - 0 fun8 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

This is the perfect imagery to describe the situation. The Empress’s New Girldick Centerpiece.

[–][deleted] 32 insightful - 15 fun32 insightful - 14 fun33 insightful - 15 fun -  (14 children)

I don’t know why they bother when they disqualify their own arguments by making a dick-sucking disclaimer that it’s “not directed at transbians and their girldicks uwu”

Come on, little tervens, just a little bit closer, you’re almost there. Come to to us, sweet terflings!

I am pretty delighted by how much hate they have for radfems. Radfem isn’t perfect by any means, but is a hell of a lot more coherent than their girl-dick pandering. I like that it makes them so uncomfortable. It means it’s working.

[–]yousaythosethingsFind and Replace "gatekeeping" with "having boundaries"[S] 25 insightful - 12 fun25 insightful - 11 fun26 insightful - 12 fun -  (6 children)

That was step one of me questioning gender ideology. I still felt the need to add all of those disclaimers and be like “oh I’m not like those hateful radfems and gatekeeping lesbians . . . But also what’s a radfem and where do they meet bc I have questions no one else wants to answer. TWAW. So valid. Thx bye.”

[–][deleted] 33 insightful - 2 fun33 insightful - 1 fun34 insightful - 2 fun -  (4 children)

Every lesbian who says “this is not about trans women” knows she’s lying, and there is only so many times you can do that until you hate yourself. None of the lesbians there consider trans women “valid” lesbians. I don’t even mean it to be cruel, but if you’re a lesbian for real, you just don’t want people who are not real women. It’s the reason the vast majority of bisexuals don’t want to date trans people either. It’s a big ask, and for all of these women to keep pretending is just irresponsible down the line.

[–]wafflegaffWoman. SuperBi. 17 insightful - 1 fun17 insightful - 0 fun18 insightful - 1 fun -  (3 children)

Fear of bullying inspires a lot of cognitive dissonance. They will peak when their internal capacity for logic runs these calculations enough times to come up with this inevitable result: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6DGNZnfKYnU

[–]reluctant_commenter 15 insightful - 1 fun15 insightful - 0 fun16 insightful - 1 fun -  (2 children)

Agreed, fear of bullying is a big factor. I would guess a lot of people are just scared of losing what little support systems they have.

[–]wafflegaffWoman. SuperBi. 12 insightful - 1 fun12 insightful - 0 fun13 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

Yes, when you look around and see so many people joining the cult...what exactly do you do unless you are ready to potentially go it alone and also be ostracized? I myself have advised a vulnerable person or two to just play along with this shit quietly to save themselves while the rest of us work to dismantle it. I bet I'm not the only one, either.

[–]reluctant_commenter 5 insightful - 1 fun5 insightful - 0 fun6 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Yeahhhh, to be honest that is where I am at, at least IRL. Not online though, this sub and s/lesbians have been a really supportive space :)

[–]reluctant_commenter 7 insightful - 5 fun7 insightful - 4 fun8 insightful - 5 fun -  (0 children)

“oh I’m not like those hateful radfems and gatekeeping lesbians . . . But also what’s a radfem and where do they meet bc I have questions no one else wants to answer. TWAW. So valid. Thx bye.”

I relate to this on a deeply personal level. Thanks for communicating that so well LOL.

[–]florasisHOMOSEXUAL FEMALE/Pussy is my God and I'm monotheist 25 insightful - 5 fun25 insightful - 4 fun26 insightful - 5 fun -  (0 children)

That's not about radical feminism though. Really, it is just about common sense and reality. This thing about blaming feminism, well, just show the misogyny of the movement.

[–]writerlylesbian 20 insightful - 10 fun20 insightful - 9 fun21 insightful - 10 fun -  (5 children)

Haha, this makes me remember this absolutely tortuous tumblr incident where a lesbian wrote a post complaining about heterosexism in the media. She was pulling apart some article about some boring straight couple and how great their sex life was or something, I can't recall exactly.

So then someone comes along, and is all, "but what about lesbians who date transwomen with dicks???" and then this OP had to tie herself up in knots explaining why that would be totally okay to be celebrated in the media, and would be so different from celebrating a het couple. To this day, I wonder if that person asking the question was a troll who just wanted to see a genderist make a fool out of themselves.

[–]florasisHOMOSEXUAL FEMALE/Pussy is my God and I'm monotheist 17 insightful - 13 fun17 insightful - 12 fun18 insightful - 13 fun -  (0 children)

Yeah, it's totally different if the male wear a dress lol

[–]haveanicedaytoo💗💜💙 11 insightful - 10 fun11 insightful - 9 fun12 insightful - 10 fun -  (2 children)

Ahh, all she had to do was talk about the delicate mouthfeel and how it's totally not the same thing! And then call them transphobes for suggesting otherwise!

[–]writerlylesbian 19 insightful - 9 fun19 insightful - 8 fun20 insightful - 9 fun -  (1 child)

Mouthfeel is a word that is ruined forever. It should just be struck off the English language, preferably destroyed with a meteor or similar.

[–]wafflegaffWoman. SuperBi. 8 insightful - 3 fun8 insightful - 2 fun9 insightful - 3 fun -  (0 children)

I didn't even know that word was being ruined until this week, and any further erosion of my ignorance is probably not bliss.

[–][deleted] 9 insightful - 5 fun9 insightful - 4 fun10 insightful - 5 fun -  (0 children)

Ugh. Watching the bowing and scraping of the slavering trans-vassal circus is insufferable. Take a fucking stance, you half-wit traitors. I can honestly see the spittle flying and the trembling in my mind’s eye. Lol. It’s so pathetic.

[–]yousaythosethingsFind and Replace "gatekeeping" with "having boundaries"[S] 33 insightful - 9 fun33 insightful - 8 fun34 insightful - 9 fun -  (5 children)

Another hot take: All the transbians in the thread talking about how they feel lesbian erasure because they feel pressure to be attracted to men since they came out as trans. Woo boy. How can they think that’s even remotely similar. One said he came out as trans a few weeks ago so he’s had a few weeks at best of people asking him if he’s interested in men wtf. At minimum everyone is confused about him calling himself a lesbian because even every dudebro knows that men cannot be lesbians. How is this not peaking the actual lesbians in there and proving their point?

[–][deleted] 32 insightful - 10 fun32 insightful - 9 fun33 insightful - 10 fun -  (3 children)

Transbians are so dumb, they don’t get that literally all straights think transwomen are self-hating gay men. Did they seriously think that anyone would assume they would be into WOMEN still? Most straight men would be shocked by that. Why ruin your ability to sleep with women by transitioning if you are STRAIGHT ANYWAY? I’ve had the pleasure of breaking the news to some straight guys and seeing their total confusion.

[–]turtleduck23 17 insightful - 8 fun17 insightful - 7 fun18 insightful - 8 fun -  (0 children)

many of them are probably incles who think transitioning will finally get them laid, instead, their still incles who wear makeup and dresses.

[–]PassionateIntensity 19 insightful - 1 fun19 insightful - 0 fun20 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

The general public still thinks 99% of this is about oppressed super gay men. It's the only way they get away with it.

[–][deleted] 10 insightful - 1 fun10 insightful - 0 fun11 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

And honestly, they should feel compassion for oppressed gay men, and trans people, but jumping on board with 100% support of a population that you don’t actually know anything about it wack. People are supporting a demographic they can’t even tell apart.

[–]florasisHOMOSEXUAL FEMALE/Pussy is my God and I'm monotheist 21 insightful - 5 fun21 insightful - 4 fun22 insightful - 5 fun -  (0 children)

No wonder they've been asked about liking men, society still see trans as homosexuals like in the past. They have no idea that mostly today is about autogynephiles

[–]Astrid2448 33 insightful - 4 fun33 insightful - 3 fun34 insightful - 4 fun -  (7 children)

There are too many comments here acting like this is all the work of trans women. There are SO MANY homophobic bi women causing this issue, constantly shouting down the lesbians and exemplifying exactly what lesbians are sick of. Even on this post, the majority of the comments are from bisexual women.

An example: a “lesbian” saying she believes that sexuality is fluid because she’s 95% attracted to women and only sleeps with men on occasion. A real lesbian commented saying this was the type of treatment they were talking about, her co-opting lesbianism when she isn’t one. She replies saying the lesbian is a gold star and has no right to tell her that she isn’t gay just because she likes sucking penis.

[–]wafflegaffWoman. SuperBi. 12 insightful - 1 fun12 insightful - 0 fun13 insightful - 1 fun -  (6 children)

FWIW, bisexual woman here who, even though men don't really get on my radar generally speaking, immediately stopped using the term "lesbian" when I started dating a man whom I made an exception for, because I understand what words mean. There is just not a way to make "lesbian" mean something other than a woman who exclusively is attracted to women. Doesn't matter that the man I was dating wondered for many years if he was trans but didn't act on it; he was still a man (and, of course, still would not ever have been biologically female). Not complicated, any of this. We are talking about biology here, and these should be neutral terms that describe facts.

So thanks for bringing this up, I will be more watchful for this and comment as appropriate, just to counterbalance that nonsense. And get drummed out of some groups, I imagine, for deploying the heresy of logic. Whatever.

[–]Astrid2448 9 insightful - 1 fun9 insightful - 0 fun10 insightful - 1 fun -  (5 children)

I appreciate you trying to listen to lesbians. I am slightly confused by the first part of your post however. Are you saying you were always occasionally attracted to men, but stopped identifying as a lesbian once you started dating one?

[–]wafflegaffWoman. SuperBi. 8 insightful - 2 fun8 insightful - 1 fun9 insightful - 2 fun -  (4 children)

No, I spent quite a few years, after a typical teenage stint trying to be straight unsuccessfully, as a lesbian with no attraction to men, and was not attracted to the one I ended up having as a partner until there was a communication accident in which he disclosed, as a close friend of many months, that he was attracted to me, and he did not pressure me to do anything with that information once I had it. He just kept acting like a perfect gentleman and a supportive friend. I've never been turned off by men's bodies, I just am pretty indifferent to them as well. This was emotional, that's the only reason he managed to get past that barrier. That's when I learned I had an alternate entrance for attraction when it came to men. But it is still not the same full attraction that I experience with a woman. This is the reason he and I negotiated at the start of the relationship that if I ever felt like I needed to, we would open the relationship so I could date women as well. That never came to pass but it is the only reason I agreed to embark on a risky relationship. We negotiated very openly what we were getting ourselves into.

This possibility of a man inspiring emotional attraction that leads to physical attraction (which phenomenon I have no interest in labeling; it is what it is), when women can inspire both simultaneously or physical attraction prior to emotional attraction, is the reason I didn't revert to "lesbian" when we were no longer together. The odds might be infinitesimally small that I would be partnered with a man again, but they are not zero. My only compelling attraction is to women. Men, on the other hand, are way more available, and I go through cycles of either having a high sex drive or a dormant sex drive, so I feel fortunate that they are fairly easy to find as playmates even if I don't actively look for that; it’s still a load off my mind. I am also not attracted to the vast majority of women, which leaves me with very shitty odds of ever finding a suitable one. It's the usual numbers problem, and one I try not to think about because I can’t control it and it’s depressing as hell.

It's also possible that I might experience fewer instances of attraction to other people than the average. I don't know. I just don't want to be with someone badly enough to create doomed relationships. I also don’t think two such freak occurrences of finding someone as amazing as him are likely in one lifetime. So I am glad I didn’t have to say no to him completely. He wanted to be a woman generally and when he was with me. It was something he didn’t act on, and he would have been miserable in different ways if he had. So we understood each other in a way that was conducive to making something highly anomalous work.

I am still not sure I answered your question, but it is a complex situation I have not tried to articulate to anyone in years and I’m not totally awake right now.

[–]florasisHOMOSEXUAL FEMALE/Pussy is my God and I'm monotheist 10 insightful - 5 fun10 insightful - 4 fun11 insightful - 5 fun -  (3 children)

Fucking strange. You're bisexual with a strong preferance toward women, but you don't like most women and spent most of the time sleeping with men. It's fucking complicated.

[–]wafflegaffWoman. SuperBi. 3 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 0 fun4 insightful - 1 fun -  (2 children)

That is an oversimplification, but yeah, things are complicated. It's not about disliking women, it's about the fact that I am (and I would think this is pretty normal across the general population, no?) not attracted to nearly everyone I ever meet, though I can see them as attractive in some disinterested way, or to other people. I just don't want to date them myself.

It surely does suck that I don't find very many women OR men attractive enough to pursue though, yes. Can't be helped, won't talk myself into something that isn't real. To put that another way I have a bunch of great friends I'm unlikely to lose through trying to turn those friendships into something else. ¯_(ツ)_/¯

I'm also one of those people who is a sensation-seeking HSP, and you are nodding and laughing right now if you are, too. Want to be in the middle of the action, but carefully, so generally, I am never in the middle of the action I find the most interesting (say, extreme sports). Imagine how much fun that paradox is.

[–]florasisHOMOSEXUAL FEMALE/Pussy is my God and I'm monotheist 3 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 0 fun4 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

I'm fully introverted who doesn't like at all to be in the middle of anything, actually. But it's sad that you have such difficulties to finding people interesting you.

[–]yousaythosethingsFind and Replace "gatekeeping" with "having boundaries"[S] 27 insightful - 2 fun27 insightful - 1 fun28 insightful - 2 fun -  (6 children)

The removed comments are generally discussing (1) lesbian erasure by the concept of bi/pan lesbians and (2) the need for lesbian only spaces, which others call a dog whistle because why would lesbians need their own spaces when all WLWs are the same apparently despite the dozens of comments from lesbians explaining how lack of attraction toward men is the root of a lot of the mistreatment they face, not same-sex attraction toward women. I can relate because it was a lot easier for me to figure out I was attracted to women than that I was not attracted to men because there is so much pressure that you are made to feel like the problem is you.

https://www.removeddit.com/r/actuallesbians/comments/i163n2/we_dont_talk_about_lesbophobia_enough/?sort=top

[–]florasisHOMOSEXUAL FEMALE/Pussy is my God and I'm monotheist 29 insightful - 3 fun29 insightful - 2 fun30 insightful - 3 fun -  (1 child)

Yeah, liking women as women is fine, not liking men is a phallocentric society is a sin

[–]Rosefield 11 insightful - 6 fun11 insightful - 5 fun12 insightful - 6 fun -  (0 children)

A transpobic hatecrime

[–]VioletRemiCat, homosexual one 26 insightful - 4 fun26 insightful - 3 fun27 insightful - 4 fun -  (1 child)

Maybe PM those women, who commented that about /r/TrueLesbians moved on Saidit to /s/Lesbians?

[–]verystablegenius 12 insightful - 1 fun12 insightful - 0 fun13 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

someone definitely needs to go through AL and message each of these people.

[–]oofreesouloo⚡super lesbian⚡ 17 insightful - 1 fun17 insightful - 0 fun18 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Thank you so much for sharing. God, why did I click it. There ARE plenty of people there saying sexuality IS fluid. Like for real, kill me now, I don't want to be part of that community, why can't we be just LGB pleeeeease

[–]PassionateIntensity 8 insightful - 1 fun8 insightful - 0 fun9 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

I can relate because it was a lot easier for me to figure out I was attracted to women than that I was not attracted to men because there is so much pressure that you are made to feel like the problem is you.

Truer words.

[–]VioletRemiCat, homosexual one 24 insightful - 6 fun24 insightful - 5 fun25 insightful - 6 fun -  (0 children)

Moderators don't see how those women problems can be related to them (who calling themselves "lesbians", yeah with penises). Seems only lesbians they know are all men. And mods are men too. So of course they can't relate to women problems.

[–]hufflepuff-poet 25 insightful - 4 fun25 insightful - 3 fun26 insightful - 4 fun -  (0 children)

That entire thread just pissed me off!! The fact that these delusional men think they have the right to colonize lesbian spaces, and then seeing all the lesbians ALMOST getting it but still tooting the TWAW nonsense and shitting on TERFs... . Everyday I get more and more disillusioned that it seems like everyone else is drinking this gender kool-aid

What's the difference between the transbians and straight men on the sub?! And why do straight men love the memes on a lesbian sub? Maybe they relate to the memes because the actuallesbians is actuallystraightmen 🤔

[–]Astrid2448 20 insightful - 1 fun20 insightful - 0 fun21 insightful - 1 fun -  (4 children)

At this point, as a lesbian I’ve just decided that I’m better off without lesbian spaces. Going in there feels like masochism because of the amount of homophobia, fetishization, and appropriation that you run into almost immediately. Then on top of that they treat you like you’re hateful just because you’re gay, immediately holding you to a high standard and grilling you for imperfections. I would like to talk to some lesbians but I would rather be the only one I know than be around people who make me feel like garbage.

[–]reluctant_commenter 10 insightful - 1 fun10 insightful - 0 fun11 insightful - 1 fun -  (3 children)

What about s/lesbians? :)

[–]Astrid2448 14 insightful - 1 fun14 insightful - 0 fun15 insightful - 1 fun -  (2 children)

I should correct myself and say I mean "typical lesbian spaces", which are full of queer politics. This one fringe space that has been branded a hate space and forced onto a different website is very different from the average lesbian space.

[–]reluctant_commenter 2 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 0 fun3 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Oh you're totally fine! I just wanted to suggest it in case you hadn't realized it was different. I ran across someone else in this sub who that was the case for, and they were happy to find out it was different.

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    [–]Gearbeta 16 insightful - 5 fun16 insightful - 4 fun17 insightful - 5 fun -  (0 children)

    Lol how many from that thread do you think got banned for being "TERFs". Oh well. Every lesbian that gets banned off of there is a new potential member here.

    [–]blackrainbow 13 insightful - 1 fun13 insightful - 0 fun14 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

    I've got banned because in one post I said that in that sub there's plenty of straight men posting. Reason: Terf. Wtf?

    [–]wafflegaffWoman. SuperBi. 4 insightful - 2 fun4 insightful - 1 fun5 insightful - 2 fun -  (0 children)

    Sounds like a notch to put in your belt, to me. Congratulations.

    [–]Kaiserjager 9 insightful - 2 fun9 insightful - 1 fun10 insightful - 2 fun -  (1 child)

    Imagine thinking just because someone doesn't want to have sex with you means they think you're repulsive.

    [–]hufflepuff-poet 6 insightful - 2 fun6 insightful - 1 fun7 insightful - 2 fun -  (0 children)

    This is how straight men and transbians think, because to men if they don't want to have sex w a woman it is because they think she's repulsive. Men seem to mostly interact with the world through their fragile peepee.

    [–]oyasuminasai50 7 insightful - 1 fun7 insightful - 0 fun8 insightful - 1 fun -  (2 children)

    Also, if anyone is being genuinely lesbophobic, report them and they'll get banned. TERF dogwhistles about 'trans women being lesbophobic by 
identifying as lesbians etc' will also get them banned.

    I absolutely loathe the term dog whistle. It's a term used to say "hey, you didn't actually say this, but I'm going to accuse you of meaning something else and I can make that jump in logic by calling it a dog whistle!" It's used to justify one abstraction of the truth after another. And it's used to attack perfectly legitimate arguments by baselessly accusing them of being some secret coded message.

    [–]yousaythosethingsFind and Replace "gatekeeping" with "having boundaries"[S] 4 insightful - 1 fun4 insightful - 0 fun5 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

    I agree. That and “sea lioning” which just means “I don’t have an answer to your question so I’m going to resort to accusing you of asking it in bad faith and conveniently not answer it.

    [–]oyasuminasai50 3 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 0 fun4 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

    They're terms used to attack a person's tone / intent, not the substance of their argument.

    [–][deleted] 7 insightful - 1 fun7 insightful - 0 fun8 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

    This makes me sick.

    Almost, almost, self-aware. They could reach and out touch the hypocrisy if they wanted to.

    They don’t want to.

    Lesbians and dicks: not ever.

    [–]mangosplums 6 insightful - 1 fun6 insightful - 0 fun7 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

    When is the OP going to put together the contradictions? There must be major cognitive dissonance going on. She writes:

    none of this is about trans lesbians. yall are of course welcome. im sorry our spaces get so easily commandeered by terfs.

    or the worst of the worst, the ex who told me she would end up with a man because "nothing can compare to a real dick." I've gotten that one from friends, too. "Oh, you'll try it someday! you need to just have a real man fuck you and you'll understand"

    Doesn't this person realize that if the dick belongs to a trans woman, she'll get the same exact pressure from people to like it? How does she not realize that aside from terminology, it's the exact same thing going on. Pressure to try dicks. I don't understand how someone can write this post and not have this dawn on them. Will it ever click?

    [–][deleted] 5 insightful - 1 fun5 insightful - 0 fun6 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

    The irony of of allowing men on the sub and saying how a big issue is men coming onto them lmao

    load more comments (1 reply)