Colonization"My first sign I was trans was wanting to be gay"

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[–]IAmSatanVery... very... very gay. 40 insightful - 5 fun40 insightful - 4 fun41 insightful - 5 fun -  (0 children)

Yup, she read too much boy love.

The tragic thing though is that no gay guy would sleep with a person with vagina. :L

[–]indeepshadowsBi woman 39 insightful - 3 fun39 insightful - 2 fun40 insightful - 3 fun -  (43 children)

There we have it. The truth a lot of FTMs don't want us to know.

[–]MezozoicGayoldschool gay 25 insightful - 20 fun25 insightful - 19 fun26 insightful - 20 fun -  (42 children)

Truth that all straight women are just gay men?

[–]indeepshadowsBi woman 45 insightful - 5 fun45 insightful - 4 fun46 insightful - 5 fun -  (40 children)

LOL! No, the truth that some straight girls are so obsessed with yaoi that they feel like their love of men is "gay". It's so sad. I think there's some internalised misogyny going on there.

Also, I'm tired of seeing some FTMs justify being "gay" by saying they've always had crushes on gay men. Being heterosexual means being attracted to the opposite sex, and sometimes you're unlucky and fall for someone who can't reciprocate. Just because you're crushing on gay guys doesn't mean you're a gay man. It just means you like men.

[–]MezozoicGayoldschool gay 40 insightful - 3 fun40 insightful - 2 fun41 insightful - 3 fun -  (35 children)

And in addition to that yaoi is mostly written by women, so they are loving characters created by women for women, and not realy loving gay men as they are in reality.

[–]indeepshadowsBi woman 41 insightful - 2 fun41 insightful - 1 fun42 insightful - 2 fun -  (33 children)

Precisely. Written BY women FOR women. The overwhelming majority of women in that scene know this, but I suppose some impressionable teens can't tell the difference between fiction and reality. There was a very interesting conversation about this a while back on s/GenderCritical.

[–]artetolife[S] 24 insightful - 13 fun24 insightful - 12 fun25 insightful - 13 fun -  (12 children)

Teenagers (and some adults) are dumb and impressionable, I get that, but what's confusing/funny/frustrating is that they decide to become gay men before making the slightest effort to find out what real gay men and gay culture are like, and end up crying in the bathroom at the gay orgy.

[–]Ambisextrous 18 insightful - 7 fun18 insightful - 6 fun19 insightful - 7 fun -  (10 children)

Maybe I’m evil but that post made me laugh so much, she spent her whole life so sheltered and “validated” by the people in her life. The one time she leaves her tumblr safe space she gets hit by the hardest of realities. * Shocking* homosexual males are only attracted to other men. She got her tits out at a gay orgy lmao what did she expect. Applause for her bravery?

[–]artetolife[S] 17 insightful - 2 fun17 insightful - 1 fun18 insightful - 2 fun -  (3 children)

I don't feel bad for laughing at her. She's narcissistic enough to think that the entire world should have lined up to validate her delusions with no effort on her part, and even after her dose of reality her response is to ask if she should rally her "queer" friends to punish the evil cis gay men.

[–]haveanicedaytoo💗💜💙 15 insightful - 7 fun15 insightful - 6 fun16 insightful - 7 fun -  (2 children)

Not gonna lie, I ugly-cackled when she overheard one of the dudes say "I think that girl is crying in the bathroom" (can't remember it exactly.)

[–]artetolife[S] 12 insightful - 4 fun12 insightful - 3 fun13 insightful - 4 fun -  (1 child)

That was the best part. She just got her boobs out in front of everyone, how are they supposed to know she thinks she isn't a woman?

[–]NiceDickBro 10 insightful - 4 fun10 insightful - 3 fun11 insightful - 4 fun -  (3 children)

I've said this many times before, but that story is one of the best unintentional comedies I've ever seen.

[–]fuck_reddit 3 insightful - 5 fun3 insightful - 4 fun4 insightful - 5 fun -  (0 children)

"A Comedy of Errors in Five Parts"

[–]PenseePansyBio-Sex or Bust 3 insightful - 3 fun3 insightful - 2 fun4 insightful - 3 fun -  (1 child)

I demand a dramatic reading!

Preferably accompanied by tragic violins (alternating with Sad Trombone and/or "Yakety Sax")

[–]NiceDickBro 2 insightful - 2 fun2 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 2 fun -  (0 children)

Oh man, I'm actually really tempted - I'm not sure I have the voice for it but I'm really tempted to give it the ol college try.

[–][deleted] 7 insightful - 3 fun7 insightful - 2 fun8 insightful - 3 fun -  (0 children)

Omg her tits were out? I don’t remember that part

[–][deleted] 5 insightful - 4 fun5 insightful - 3 fun6 insightful - 4 fun -  (0 children)

Loooooooooooooool. But where was their prince?!

[–]haveanicedaytoo💗💜💙 19 insightful - 1 fun19 insightful - 0 fun20 insightful - 1 fun -  (15 children)

That thread was really... Brain-scrambling. I had seen a thread like it before on the old GC and this one woman explained about all the different kinds of hypothetical power dynamics that are achievable in a fictional male X male situation created by a woman (mainly a situation where both the partners are truly equal) and I really really liked that idea. And I understood the "well, why not female x female fiction" as, "well, most of the readers of this stuff are straight women, they don't care about female x female" but to see so many lesbians who are/were into yaoi kind of tosses that theory out the window....

But some women in this thread went REALLY in-depth and talked about how getting lost in those hypothetical relationships emotionally stunted them IRL, and that's so scary.

This one in particular: https://saidit.net/s/GenderCritical/comments/5n2b/the_role_of_yaoianime_bl_in_the_gay_tif/lu8x

I wonder what's going on in Japan/Korea. Are actual fujoshis wanting to transition into dudes so they can date gay guys? Or is this only an internet problem that affects foreigners?

[–]reluctant_commenter 12 insightful - 1 fun12 insightful - 0 fun13 insightful - 1 fun -  (10 children)

Just wanted to say, brain-scrambling is the perfect description; I also went back and read through that whole thread just now. I do think that it is super fascinating, and scary, that it sounds like lesbians are some of the more hardcore fujoshis? Which checks out with my personal experience, but like, wow. It sounds like internalized misogyny might be the magic bullet that's in play here.

[–]florasisHOMOSEXUAL FEMALE/Pussy is my God and I'm monotheist 13 insightful - 4 fun13 insightful - 3 fun14 insightful - 4 fun -  (9 children)

Well, personally seeing gay porn would be totally repulsive to me.So lesbians liking it, yeah, they got a serious problem LMAO

[–][deleted] 10 insightful - 1 fun10 insightful - 0 fun11 insightful - 1 fun -  (8 children)

Yeah. It’s really weird. Honestly, it’s really really really hard to imagine a real ass lesbian being into gay porn. It’s just really not lesbian to watch porn with two dudes, like, REALLY not lesbian. That’s the least lez thing I can even think of.

[–]artetolife[S] 14 insightful - 1 fun14 insightful - 0 fun15 insightful - 1 fun -  (5 children)

It's not such a strange concept when you consider that the "men" in yaoi don't look or behave anything like a real gay man, and the commnity built around it is almost exclusively female, so they are going online and roleplaying their sexual fantasies with other women.

[–]PenseePansyBio-Sex or Bust 1 insightful - 1 fun1 insightful - 0 fun2 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

Lesbian kryptonite?

[–]indeepshadowsBi woman 12 insightful - 1 fun12 insightful - 0 fun13 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

That comment was really... bewildering. And I don't mean it in a bad way. I was just very surprised by the depth of the person's self-analysis, as well as the severity of the side effects she suffered from her hobby. I recognised some of those things in myself, too, but on a much milder level. I was very much into M/M fanfiction as a teen, too, but if memory serves, I grew disinterested at age 17 or something. I never liked any kind of anime or yaoi, though: I thought the stereotypes depicted were super obvious and annoying. I came back to fic in my late twenties because I had time to kill, and what's more fun than reading unrealistic romantic stories?

M/M is definitely not only for straight girls/women; I know for a fact I'm not the only one who wanted to experiment with same-sex relationships without putting my own self out there. There was also convenient plausible deniability there: if my homophobic mother would have seen the stuff I read, I could have just gone "I just really like men, what can I say?". I couldn't have explained F/F content away like that. I certainly thought I was working on my internalised homophobia back in my teenage years when I was reading all that stuff, and maybe it did help me a little bit. I don't know. I'm a grown ass woman in my thirties now, and reading F/F and M/M stories is pure entertainment to me.

I don't know what's happening in Japan and Korea, I'm afraid, but I doubt a lot of people are transitioning over there. They are very conservative societies in their own unique ways.

[–][deleted] 7 insightful - 1 fun7 insightful - 0 fun8 insightful - 1 fun -  (2 children)

Women into yaoi are not actually lesbians, I swear to god, I’ve met lesbians that say that and it turns out they end up transitioning or dating men. It’s an odd group.

[–]haveanicedaytoo💗💜💙 5 insightful - 1 fun5 insightful - 0 fun6 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

Seriously I have so many questions about lesbians reading/watching yaoi and I have nowhere to ask. Many years ago I was curious to find the girl x girl version (yuri) but there was barely anything good. There was this cartoon I kind of liked "Onisama E" but there were "girl" girls, and girls that basically looked like tall feminine dudes and all the "girly" girls had crushes on them and it was just so very.... IDEK......... So if me, a bisexual is confused by this, I can see lesbians being turned off too, but how does a lady who has zero sexual attraction to guys end up reading cartoon porn comic books with naked guys having sex? (Also, I haven't looked in a long time, but I would LOVE recommendations for girl x girl manga type stuff.)

[–][deleted] 3 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 0 fun4 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Check on mangago.me under yuri or shoujo ai. But it’s really hard to find anything non-creepy.

And I for real don’t believe actual lesbians read yaoi. That’s just so nonsensical it’s stunning. Maybe if they are really really young or something.

[–]reluctant_commenter 9 insightful - 1 fun9 insightful - 0 fun10 insightful - 1 fun -  (3 children)

THANK YOU for linking that thread! Holy shit. I feel like I saw this in motion with some of my female friends growing up and didn't quite understand it but just shrugged it off. I never had an anime phase, although I usually enjoyed it at least somewhat when friends would pressure me to watch. I feel like I just.. read all that and saw a way my life could've gone. Holy shit. I am so glad I never fell down this hole.

The overwhelming majority of women in that scene know this

I actually wonder though, if some don't.. or if they just never stop and think about it, because that is threatening, at least.

[–]indeepshadowsBi woman 9 insightful - 1 fun9 insightful - 0 fun10 insightful - 1 fun -  (2 children)

I never liked anime/yaoi, but I fell into the M/M hole as a teen, but I didn't stay there for a very long time. I got hyperfixated in something else and forgot about the M/M scene for more than a decade. I still turned out all right, I think! But then again, I was a teen in the early 00s. Times were different back then; nobody thought they could become a gay man. Who knows where I would be if I was fifteen years younger?

I actually wonder though, if some don't.. or if they just never stop and think about it, because that is threatening, at least.

I can only speak for myself and the fandom friends I have... that is, women well over thirty. We know the score, but I genuinely have no idea what the young ones are thinking. I see them put out a lot of genderwoowoo fiction. Especially the ones that identify as trans or nonbinary. It's awful to think that I might've contributed to their identity problems with my stories.

[–]reluctant_commenter 5 insightful - 1 fun5 insightful - 0 fun6 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

It's awful to think that I might've contributed to their identity problems with my stories.

I can totally get why you'd feel that way. But-- in context, the internet is the wild west. Nobody is doing things on the internet with an eye towards how it will affect the growth and development of kids and teenagers, at this point in time. I don't blame you, and I hope you don't feel like there is anything wrong with you for sharing your stories. I don't know your writing at all but I would bet your stories were appreciated by many a person with a developed sense of boundaries. :)

[–]Rosefield 3 insightful - 2 fun3 insightful - 1 fun4 insightful - 2 fun -  (0 children)

The Yuri and shoujo ai subs on reddit are infested with trans"women".

[–][deleted] 8 insightful - 1 fun8 insightful - 0 fun9 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

My friend was into yaoi and it honestly seemed violent, abusive and creepy. I don’t recall gay boys being like that AT ALL.

[–]MarkJeffersonTight defenses and we draw the line 20 insightful - 1 fun20 insightful - 0 fun21 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

That does seem like a large aspect of the trans problem. People of any orientation who honestly can't come to grips with the fact that some people are just off limits and can never return their affection. So they warp and bend that square peg to fit that round hole, or at least try to.

Then another large aspect of course, are the narcissists, manipulators, selfish opportunists, who are fully aware of how much advantage they're taking by encroaching on spaces where they do not belong, taking on labels which are meant for others, and forcing themselves on people in one-sided relationships that should not exist.

The first kind of trans is still reachable. Can perhaps be reasoned with along as they're not completely locked down in denial. The second kind can be super-glued to the train tracks or something..

[–]haveanicedaytoo💗💜💙 7 insightful - 1 fun7 insightful - 0 fun8 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

And if you think about it, only crushing on gay men would be a fetish, because normal gay and bi men end up crushing on straight dudes all the time whether they like it or not, they are just physically attracted. A lot of times they have no clue what sexuality the guy is and hope that he turns out to be same sex attracted as well. With girls who do this, they insist that they only crush on gay men (which is then used as some kind of proof of their "gay maleness" when actual gay guys don't even do that.)

[–]v4gisil 1 insightful - 1 fun1 insightful - 0 fun2 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

I'm a straight woman, and this is something I could never wrap my head around. I was exposed to weird fandoms of stuff like yaoi as a teenager and I remember hearing about how so many straight women were supposedly into gay porn, and I couldn't relate to any of it. At all. Why would men who couldn't possibly reciprocate my interest get my motor running? Further, finding out a guy is gay irl instantaneously kills any desire I may have had for him, like my brain immediately puts him in an "off-limits" box.

This isn't helpful or insightful, but this whole phenomenon of other straight people fetishizing gay men and lesbians just really skeeves me out and confuses me. I do not get it.

[–]artetolife[S] 2 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 0 fun3 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

This comes up a lot in discussions on gay forums - some of us NEED the possibility of reciprocation to be attracted to someone, but it seems like most people don't, or at least they can convince themselves that there's a chance that they can "turn" the object of their affection.

[–][deleted] 7 insightful - 1 fun7 insightful - 0 fun8 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

This is like the fruit-fly version of “huh huh, I’m a lesbian too, ladies” that straight dudes have been saying to lesbians since the dawn of man.

[–]MezozoicGayoldschool gay 33 insightful - 5 fun33 insightful - 4 fun34 insightful - 5 fun -  (0 children)

Conversion therapy at its finest.

Here in post-USSR a lot of lesbians I know were hating themselves and withing to born male, because it was hard to live as a woman and as a homosexual in this reality. Nowadays all of them would just try to become transgenders instead, and then suffer the rest of their life.

And this one seems bi-sexual with more alinging towards women-liking, so men-liking feels "gay" to her.

[–]drew0594 22 insightful - 3 fun22 insightful - 2 fun23 insightful - 3 fun -  (0 children)

Woman fetishizing gay men, now with extra steps. We have such a bright future ahead of us...

[–]yousaythosethingsFind and Replace "gatekeeping" with "having boundaries" 19 insightful - 1 fun19 insightful - 0 fun20 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Jfc. Being gay isn’t a feeling. Same-sex attraction doesn’t “feel gay.” It just means you are attracted to the same sex and that that attraction internally feels normal.

[–]julesburm1891 16 insightful - 1 fun16 insightful - 0 fun17 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Uhh, there’s no point that my attraction to women felt “gay.” It felt like sexual attraction. It just so happened to be directed exclusively at women.

These pervs are something.

[–]ChunkeeguyTeam T*RF Fuck Yeah 15 insightful - 1 fun15 insightful - 0 fun16 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

The derangement is palpable

[–]notdelusionalbased faggot 11 insightful - 9 fun11 insightful - 8 fun12 insightful - 9 fun -  (1 child)

Aiden is compensating for her inferiority complex.

[–][deleted] 6 insightful - 8 fun6 insightful - 7 fun7 insightful - 8 fun -  (0 children)

Lol. Aiden

[–]JulienMayfair 10 insightful - 5 fun10 insightful - 4 fun11 insightful - 5 fun -  (0 children)

At least she's honest . . .

[–]PassionateIntensity 11 insightful - 3 fun11 insightful - 2 fun12 insightful - 3 fun -  (0 children)

Start calling these people "colonizers" to their faces. Or screens.

[–]Rosefield 11 insightful - 2 fun11 insightful - 1 fun12 insightful - 2 fun -  (0 children)

Miserable straight idiots who think gays have it easy

[–]Canardyyy 9 insightful - 1 fun9 insightful - 0 fun10 insightful - 1 fun -  (4 children)

Things like this makes me want to shut everything down, build a cabin far in the woods with no connection to society so I don’t have to deal with it.

Do they not realize how stupid they sound when they say shit like this? Being a woman attracted to men makes you straight. If you are attracted to gay men, you are still straight. Vice versa for men. Don’t be a fucking creep about it.

[–]fuck_reddit 6 insightful - 4 fun6 insightful - 3 fun7 insightful - 4 fun -  (3 children)

Honestly, I'd be down for a commune of LGB people that's isolated from the outside world and makes like art and furniture and stuff like the amish lol.

[–]Canardyyy 5 insightful - 1 fun5 insightful - 0 fun6 insightful - 1 fun -  (2 children)

Yes! It would be a great time.

We’d have to get some good security measures to prevent the TRA from coming in and tearing the place down but I’m sure it would be doable.

[–]fuck_reddit 2 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 0 fun3 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

Eh, shouldn't be too hard, just have a moderate free speech policy and a culture of "live and let live" and they'll avoid it like the plague lol

[–]Canardyyy 3 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 0 fun4 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

I suppose. But with how toxic they are I can see them trying to infiltrate it. But I can dream.

[–][deleted] 7 insightful - 4 fun7 insightful - 3 fun8 insightful - 4 fun -  (0 children)

Their first sign was opening some yaoi. Let’s be real.