RantA general rant of disbelief at where we are.

submitted by InigoEnFuego from self.LGBDropTheT

Most days I'm alright and can carry on as if I wasn't aware of everything going on, and then other days I'm reminded that LGB youth are being transed on mass... the new conversion therapy... and it's seen as progressive, and worse yet, it's celebrated BY the LGB(T) community... and I just feel absolutely sick to my stomach. What's being sold to these people is barbaric and surreal and it absolutely breaks my heart... I could deal with all the men jerking off in their sister's underwear and convincing themselves that makes them a woman... I could deal with the entitled girls obsessed with gay anime porn that think that makes them gay men. I could deal with the incels screaming at lesbians to suck their dicks, I could deal with the 13,000 annoying new gender identities and the bullshit language... I look at all that and I shake my head and I roll my eyes at how ridiculous it all is... Because I knew that the vast majority of people still understood what a woman is, what a man is, what a homosexual is... I didn't feel like there was genuinely going to be a future where the term "lesbian" could literally apply to everyone and now it's just... too much and too real...

The transing of ACTUAL LGB youth... It's not enough to take our words and our experiences and pervert them and appropriate them as their own, they then have to take those who actually ARE LGB... and convince them they're "in the wrong body" and try to turn them into "heterosexuals"... I genuinely fear for the future and especially for the young LGB future.. It feels like some sick and twisted... I dunno, genocide feels like too strong a word but it does feel like an elimination of all our culture and our experiences and our truths. And the worst thing about it is it's all done under this guise of love, acceptance, and "inclusion"... and no one sees what's happening... not even the wider LGB community. I see young lesbians on tumblr being applauded for getting mastectomies and no one sees how absolutely insane it all is. How the hell did they become so brainwashed? How the hell did our biggest enemy come from within? How the hell did we allow ourselves to be paired with the T who is the exact opposite to what we are and what we stand for? We said love yourself as you are, they said, change yourself so you can love yourself. We said there's nothing wrong with being homosexual and they said that's "limiting" and "transphobic". We said men can be effeminate and girls can be masculine and they said gender nonconformity means you're not a man or not a woman and somehow... SOMEHOW our community ate it up! You can't protect same sex attraction and gender identity at the same time. because if sex doesn't exist or doesn't matter than how can homosexuality exist? You can't ban conversion therapy for LGB people AND ban any sort of therapy or alternative treatment for trans people without inadvertently converting LGB youth... The two should NEVER be paired together when they're so opposed.

It's so fucking much. And it's just too real. This shit fucking horrifies me and honestly makes me wish I wasn't a lesbian. I had never had a problem with my sexuality all my life, aside from awkward coming outs... but now I just want to crawl into a hole... I feel like I can't breathe seeing what's happening. and it's just happening so quietly and no one cares... in fact when we do speak up about it WE'RE considered the hateful ones... the ones on "the wrong side of history". I mean fuck! We were banned from reddit! actual same sex attracted people, speaking up against the atrocities that are being done to our community and WE were the ones silenced and banned! I don't understand how the whole world can LITERALLY LOOK A HETEROSEXUAL MAN IN THE EYES AND SAY "Yes. You're a lesbian and valid." The fucking homophobia of it all and yet WE'RE the bad guys?!?! HOW?!?! I just feel like screaming into the void because these people won't listen to us anyway. How do you guys deal with this? Do you see this turning around? Because all I see are people digging their heals in and embracing the age old sexist ideas of gender and homophobia and I can't help but feel sick. It feels like we are heading for a future where our words mean nothing, where a "heterosexual" trans kid is more acceptable than a healthy gay kid... It just makes me feel like the whole world just fucking hates us and only ever pretended to care about us.

I feel absolutely helpless as I watch this shit take over... Just last month my work put up a poster of the "genderbread" person... and it hit me like a ton of bricks that there's no escaping this shit. We can't even just have our own little community where we can have our beliefs because hell, where I live it's a hate crime to say transwomen are men. You have to lie and say 2+2=5... I can't think of any other ideology that requires you to believe it in order to not commit a hate crime. I'm an atheist, but I have christian friends, we get along because I don't require them to no believe in a god and they don't require me to believe in one so how the hell did we get to a point where it's not enough to say "Trans people should be free of violence and discrimination and deserve all the same legal protections as the rest of us" to "If you don't believe someone can change sex- that's a hate crime."?

It feels like we're watching some great tragedy unfold and no one can fucking see it! We can literally point it out to them and they just... brush it off like it's nothing. My own sister wont fucking listen to me and thinks I'm being mean. Is it mean to stick up for yourself and your community? because to me its mean to tell homosexuals they need to consider having straight sex. It's "mean" to tell GNC youth there's something wrong with them. It's "mean" to silence us and write us off when we tell you there's a REAL issue here that is going to echo through the ages. Im so fucking sick of this shit. It feels like I got to enjoy 5 years where being a lesbian was okay and the far right were too tired to keep fighting us and the left embraced us... How the fuck did it all turn around so fast? Why the fuck do the public care more about the T than all of the LGB? do they really just not see what's happening? Will we EVER reach a point where we're just... allowed to exist without someone or something fucking us over? Ugh... I just feel sick.

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[–]GuacLettuceBacon 26 insightful - 2 fun26 insightful - 1 fun27 insightful - 2 fun -  (2 children)

I agree it's completely awful.

I DO have hope that good will come out of this.

The best backlash is an Era of critical thinking.

2020 culture:

  • Something is true if YOU feel it's true
  • A worldview is only good if it comes from MY supporters.
  • I will insist there is only one good worldview, OUR worldview.
  • If you contradict our worldview... I will shame, guilt, silence, or disown you.
  • I'll accept you as long as you don't contradict my line of thinking.

Actual love:

  • There is absolute truth.
  • Truth results in physical, emotional, intellectual prosperity of all humans.
  • A worldview is good as long as it stands for the truth.

  • You don't have to pressure people to agree with you, the truth proves itself.

  • I love you because you are different from me.

  • I love that you think, behave, feel, and look different from myself.

  • I will not insist on being included everywhere.

  • I respect the privacy of your space, your body, and your individuality.

About 500 years ago in 1520 there was a Renaissance that brought tons of scientific progress, art, and literature that propelled us into the modern day.

Being extra optimistic, there could be a second Renaissance.

A re-awakening where people aren't dominated by fear & social pressure, a place of patience, respect, individuality, love of humans who think different. A place where we love and protect the diversity of the human mind and human body.

People think because we have technology we're civilized now? Nah, 2020 is dark ages(intellectually, emotionally, spiritually).

[–]InigoEnFuego[S] 7 insightful - 1 fun7 insightful - 0 fun8 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

I fucking hope you're right. I just wonder how we will ever get back to sense when we live in the era of social media. It's a very different world than humanity has ever seen before and if we can't learn to debate and grow as rational people in the world of social media then we're just bound to continue fracturing until everyone just hates one another. I have to wonder if social media is just humanity sped up and we're just seeing the changes happen 10 times faster than before or if it's genuinely rotting peoples abilities to ever think rationally again.

[–]reluctant_commenter 2 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 0 fun3 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

I'm going to have to go with the "humanity sped up" version. This is also, in my opinion, reason #1001 why intelligence-based eugenics is bullshit. More intelligence does not mean better, if anything it means faster. So we make mistakes at a faster rate too. Social media is a technology and a tool, and like any tool, it propagates mistakes as quickly as it propagates useful work. In this case, mistakes being misinformation and "useful work" being truth spreading. The dilemma universal to the human timeline is deciding how to ethically use the tools that are available in our time. Making a bunch of new tools does not make that responsibility/need go away.

Just my 2 cents. Sort of a tangent, though.

[–]indeepshadowsBi woman 13 insightful - 2 fun13 insightful - 1 fun14 insightful - 2 fun -  (3 children)

I relate to everything you said. You asked how the rest of us deal with it, and I'll tell you my ways of coping.

I go outside the house a lot, meeting my friends and hanging out with my spouse (no, COVID isn't bad here). I try to live life as fully as I can. I take breaks from the internet when I feel like my mental health is declining. I hold on tight to my creative hobbies, indulging myself instead of catering to others. When a conversation makes it possible, I inform other people of what's happening in the LGBT community. I watch movies, read books, and enjoy art in galleries. I take my spouse out on dates to restaurants and eat well. I try to be as truthful as I can in my everyday life.

In short, I try not to despair over the future. I'm just one person; I can't carry the worries of the world on my shoulders. But I can help in small ways. I can change a few minds here and there, and I can encourage people to find out for themselves, like I did. But my responsibility is to myself, first and foremost; if I'm healthy and doing well, I'm doing good things to those around me, too.

[–]InigoEnFuego[S] 6 insightful - 3 fun6 insightful - 2 fun7 insightful - 3 fun -  (1 child)

You sound so chill, I'm gonna try and enjoy the little things more. Try being the operative word but it's this weird balance of... feeling like I'm not doing enough if I'm not engaging in the debate, vs making myself depressed because I'm swimming through a swamp of rampant homophobia and sexism in an attempt to fight it. I guess it's hard to accept that I'm just 1 person and while I can change a few minds, I can't change the world.

You know you say you try to be as truthful as you can in your everyday life, and I think that's genuinely one of the things that hurts the most. I hate lying. It just feels bad. It's like there's a roadblock in my head every time I'm asked to lie. I had to do a sensitivity training course at work and having to check the "true" box for things I don't believe made me feel like absolute shit. Though I do surround myself with others who are critical of the trans movement and that's a reprieve for sure. and I've recently started playing D&D with a group of like minded women and that's been amazing because I just feel like they allow me to breathe and speak the truth and even make light jokes about the ridiculousness of it all.

DM: There was a goblin attack... they came from the mountains...

Cleric: How many were there?

Me: No no... it's just one, but they're nonbinary.

[–]indeepshadowsBi woman 4 insightful - 1 fun4 insightful - 0 fun5 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

That D&D joke made me crack up. :D Also, your group sounds nice and relaxed; something that's in short supply these days.

Trust me, I'm not chill at all. At all. I'm pretty obsessive; I'm either there 100%, or not at all. Which is why I've had several bouts of bad depression in my life, and I've had to learn to suppress myself when I'm getting too engaged with something. Especially causes that mean so much to me, but are unwinnable by a lone ranger. I've had to learn how to recognise which battles are worth fighting, and how much energy I should expend on each of them - and if there's a reward to any of it. It's difficult sometimes, but forcing myself to chill generally helps keep my life balanced.

I hear you about the lying. I hate that we live in an era that pressures us to accept flat-out lies as the gospel ("TWAW! Nonbinary is a real thing! Lesbians love girldicks!"). Sometimes you have to lie so you can keep your job; it fucking sucks, but it is what it is. :( You shouldn't feel too guilty about it, though. There's a very good reason to lie when your livelihood is on the line. What matters is that you're not having to hide your personality from everyone, and that you have people around you that don't persecute you for your opinions. Like your D&D group. :)

Anyway, my best to you! Always look out for yourself, first and foremost.

[–]reluctant_commenter 2 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 0 fun3 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

That is so wholesome. I also have this worldview, but you summarized it way better than I probably could. Thanks :)

[–]fuck_reddit 8 insightful - 1 fun8 insightful - 0 fun9 insightful - 1 fun -  (2 children)

I think we are generally seeing a decline (at least in the English speaking world) of respect for the natural rights which have long defined "English Freedom" ie, life, liberty, property, speech, press, assembly, bare arms, religious belief, habeas corpus, trial by jury, etc. Ironically (speaking as an atheist), I think this might push LGB people like us into an alliance of necessity with evangelical christians and Orthodox Jews and christians, as I hardly see how the deterioration of the above rights will bode well for them either. In terms of coping, I read a lot of history books. It reminds me that human history has been defined by perpetual crisis, ingenuity, perseverance, and surprises where you least expect them. It also reminds me things could be a hell of a lot worse for us lol.

[–]InigoEnFuego[S] 7 insightful - 1 fun7 insightful - 0 fun8 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

lol You know 10 years ago I never would have thought we'd be fighting our own just to be ourselves so the idea that a future may come where we're in a fight alongside the religious who once vilified us... I guess I can't rule it out lol Would be nice if people just grew a damn brain though.

That sounds like a good technique. I'm often reminded of the quote "This too shall pass." A reminder that the human condition is constantly in flux and that one day this fad will come to pass and hopefully what will be in it's place will be better than it is now. Though even that will change again, and again after that, I just hope that the future LGB generations continue to fight to be seen and understood.

[–]fuck_reddit 3 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 0 fun4 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

I don't know if I'd predict that it's going to happen, but I'd definitely classify it as a "I wouldn't be surprised if this were to happen" sort of thing. A million things can happen to force our two groups together or apart. Mainly just an interesting thought that LGB people might be forced to ally with our ancient enemies for the sake of both of our survival/freedom a la Coalition Wars against France.

[–]CJLez 4 insightful - 1 fun4 insightful - 0 fun5 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

It is horrible and it is heartbreaking and you should take a mental health break if you need/want to (you won't be able to help other people if you don't look after yourself) but ever so slowly cracks are starting to form. There is a lot of bad news at the moment but there are a few small positives from the past year that might help tide you over - mostly UK based because that's where I'm from...

  • The Tavistock Centre (the only clinic for trans children in the UK) is currently going through several lawsuits. They're being sued by the safeguarding lead (because she found out that staff had been told not to report concerns to her), they are being sued by a former nurse and the mother of a then 15 year old autistic FTM (stating that children cannot consent to untested puberty blockers) and by a detransitioned 23 year old woman (for not giving her proper mental health care before putting her on a pathway to transitioning. Every time these lawsuits are mentioned in the news more and more people are waking up to what is happening.
  • There are more and more whistle blowers coming out of the Tavistock citing both the lack of safeguarding and the homophobic parents who come in, requesting that their children be 'fixed.' At least 35 psychologists have resigned in less than 3 years and those numbers will raise anyone's eyebrows.
  • A 13 year old girl took her local council to court over the Trans Inclusion Toolkit which stated that bathrooms and sleeping arrangements on trips would be segregated by gender rather than sex and said that any teachers that were not 100% affirmative would be disciplined. The council has now removed the toolkit rather than go through a pricy legal battle and it has spooked several other councils to remove the toolkit so that they don't get sued.
  • In the past week both Norway and Spain have launched their own versions of an LGB only group. Slowly but surely we are seperating from the TQ+
  • The World Rugby association has had a document leaked that state they want to ban transwomen from playing on women's teams. There has been quite a bit of media backlash from the usual suspects, so they may still change their minds but I think this may be another area where, if they do go through with it, other sporting associations will also feel emboldened to make similar rulings. It's always hardest to be the first.
  • The Detransition Advocacy Network has been set up. One thing that many detransitioners say is that they lost a lot of their friends and support network when they detransitioned and, knowing that there is support for them, people who were wavering but worried about going it alone have somewhere to turn to.
  • In Sweden there were proposals for a new law, supported by the ruling government, to reduce the age of medical transition to 15 and remove the option for parental objection. After multiple mainstream documentaries showcasing detransitioners, double masectomies being performed on 14 year olds and that there had been a 1,500% rise in the number of 13-17 year old FTMs diagnosed with gender dysphoria from 2008-2018 there was a big public backlash. The most recent reports I can find said that something would be published at the end of March but, if it was, I can't find out what happened but, at any rate, the law change hasn't been sneaked in while nobody watched.
  • The BBC have removed the link to Mermaids from their LGBT helpline page.
  • Probably the most important one of the lot - the NHS page on gender dysphoria has undergone a big rewrite. Where it used to say that a symptom of GD in children was wanting to play with toys associated with the other gender the new page says that, in most cases, children will grow out of GD and that playing with toys of the other gender and roleplaying as the the other gender is normal and 'quite common' and that many of these children will grow up to be gay/lesbian adults.

So, things are bad right now and it feels overwhelming and the discourse online is horrendous and things might still get worse for a while but there is some sunlight starting to come through. There is hope.