LGB ErasureJust Say No to Umbrella-Terming ("LGBTQ+" and "Queer")

submitted by KCStuffedAnimal from self.LGBDropTheT

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[–]Ko-hi 2 insightful - 2 fun2 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 2 fun -  (5 children)

Oh my god are you being intentionally obtuse. You're twisting my words into something I never said.

Asexual = equal attraction to both genders, namely zero. It's a separate sexuality but it's most similar to bisexuality, due to the equal attraction aspect. 0=0. I am 30, I literally thought I was bisexual all my life until a year ago.

A lesbian feels 0 attraction towards a man. I used this comparison to point out what it feels like, to contrast that other person who said it's about not wanting sex. I did not say men make lesbians asexual WTF

[–]KCStuffedAnimal[S] 2 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 0 fun3 insightful - 1 fun -  (4 children)

Why should I twist your words when you do such a great job twisting them yourself? You don't need my help. If twisted analyses bother you so much, then stop drawing parallels with people whose life experiences you don't understand! But do they really bother you? I doubt it. The so-called "LGBTQ+ community" that you claim membership in encourages blurring identity distinctions and creating false equivalence. That's one reason why "G" is the only letter I identify with!

[–]Ko-hi 2 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 0 fun3 insightful - 1 fun -  (3 children)

Considering I identified as bi for longer than some members of the community have been alive and dated/had sex with both genders, sure kiddo, I don't understand their life experience at all and there's no point in drawing any parallels out of experience. Keep being that abrasive and you'll alienate everyone sympathetic to the LGB without other letters cause.

[–]KCStuffedAnimal[S] 1 insightful - 1 fun1 insightful - 0 fun2 insightful - 1 fun -  (2 children)

So you're not Bisexual but you identified as Bi for awhile and that qualifies you to speak for them? You keep coming with the jokes, but I'm still not laughing! It isn't funny to witness someone so intent on self-delusion, twisting and turning every which way in order to be part of something while simultaneously trying to set himself apart from it. It looks like someone is going to hurt himself sooner or later.

If pointing out absurdities makes me abrasive, I'm OK with that. Just think of me as your handy kitchen Brillo pad! I scrub away the gunk so that what's underneath can be seen clearly. The question is, do you have the will to see clearly? If you don't, we're just going around in circles and wasting each other's time.

[–]Ko-hi 1 insightful - 1 fun1 insightful - 0 fun2 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

  1. "Awhile" sure.

  2. I wasn't speaking "for" bisexuals.

  3. Asexuality doesn't exist, I'm straight and was faking it for 15 years. Got it.

My god you are an expert at twisting things people say into pretzels. Do you run around irl screaming at people to check their privilege and crying against microaggresions? Because you're one step away from doing just that in this discussion.

But sure, have it the way you want: I'll stop supporting LGB. as a quasi-outsider. Congrats, this was your goal right?

[–]KCStuffedAnimal[S] 1 insightful - 1 fun1 insightful - 0 fun2 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

You never did support "LGB"! Your allegiance was always to the "LGBTQ+" lobby, and that's where you belong . . . maybe! Either you are Bisexual and won't admit to it, or you're not Bisexual but you presume a dubious kinship with them. If using your personal experience to define bisexuality isn't speaking for them, then what is?

Let me lay it on the line: I don't believe asexuality is a sexual orientation. I've never believed that, regardless of how many "experts" claim otherwise. The absurdities of Queer Theory have taught me not to trust academia's pronouncements about sex and gender. And I definitely don't believe asexuality deserves equal billing alongside Lesbian, Bisexual and Gay status.

Anybody can be pressured to have sex, but nobody faces societal persecution for not wanting to. Let's draw a clear distinction between disapproval and persecution: The church, the mosque and the synagogue won't denounce you for not having sexual attraction. You won't be forced into an "ex-ace" program or told to pray your asexuality away. You won't be beaten up or subjected to "corrective" rape because of your orientation. You won't ever have been diagnosed with a serious mental illness because of it. Your employer won't fire you, your landlord won't evict you, and you won't be equated with pedophiles and other sexual predators.

That's what real persecution is! That's what LesBiGay people have had to face in the past! In many places in this country, and in this world, they still face it. Outside the USA, being Lesbian, Gay or Bisexual can even subject you to legal execution. Turning our equality struggle into a haven for every bandwagon-jumper who wants to play identity politics devalues our heritage of pain. It's not only disrespectful, it's deeply insulting!

I'm also aware of how asexuality has been used as a weapon against us: A way to erase the fact of same-sex orientation. Langston Hughes, Walt Whitman and George Washington Carver are examples of famous historical figures who've been declared asexual in order to conceal their same-gender desire. Could it be that kind of erasure is still going on, and perhaps on a larger scale than we realize? Asexuality makes for an ideal closet, and it's one that society is only too willing to maintain.

Remembering the early days of Gay liberation, what stands out to me is how joyfully we celebrated our sexuality. Making love to another man or another woman was nothing less than a revolutionary act! Not by any stretch of the imagination were we about chastity or lack of libido. We kicked to the curb silly subterfuges like maiden aunt-hood, avowed bachelorhood, marriage to one's job and other presumptions of asexuality. We were, and I daresay most of us still are, neither ashamed nor afraid of being unambiguously sexual and homosexual. Am I suggesting that avowed asexual persons are ashamed or afraid? Not necessarily. I'm saying this to underscore how far removed Gay Pride is from asexual pride, if such a thing exists.

So if you want to march down the boulevard waving the banner of asexuality, more power to you. You have every right to wave it; but that banner was never meant to fly in a Gay Pride parade. The late novelist Bebe Moore Campbell said it best: "Your blues ain't like mine!"