RantAargh, so tired of being preyed upon by the trans mafia as a bi girl

submitted by GCurious80 from self.LGBDropTheT

So, to be honest, I'm married. But I'm married to a bi guy (I'm a bi girl) and we have.... an understanding. I guess you would call it an open marriage, but honestly it's kind of less salacious than that. An open marriage to me sounds like we're constantly out banging other people. We're honestly way more boring than that, but, I mean, occasionally you get an itch to scratch, if that makes sense. It's more like "every once in a while, do your thing boo, just don't bring home drama or diseases" because neither of us is here for that.

Anyway, I have recently been very pursued by a trans woman of our acquaintance. Her argument is that since I like both "genders", and I'm in an open marriage, I should be cool with getting with her. Nah. I'm not into her for a variety of reasons that would be very rude to mention. But honestly I'm not really into trans women at all, at least the ones I've met. I'm not saying I could never be into a trans person, because who knows? But I find that I haven't been in to any thus far, and I feel like that's okay, since it's my body that we're talking about. Was told I'm just transphobic. I told her I'm not a mindless sex doll "despite" being bi. Lol Like in fairness, I'm not attracted to everyone of either sex OR gender. I find I'm attracted to people rarely. But apparently since I'm bi, I should be down for anyone or else I'm transphobic. Is this a thing that my other bi sisters and brothers are experiencing? Cause I'm really over it already.

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[–]puffball 27 insightful - 1 fun27 insightful - 0 fun28 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Everyone knows bi:s are the ultimate sluts and will fuck absolutely, positively, anyone. So you turning someone down must be due to phobia, racism or similar. No other explanation possible. /s

Can't say I'm surprised, what you're experiencing is the kind of manipulation, shaming and general assholery we've all come to expect from incels turned transbians. They were, after all, told that if only they went transbian, women would stop shunning them for their piss poor personalities (and hygiene), and start falling all over themselves to get with them.

So you refusing to follow the script, and especially since you're bi and thus can't even use their shriveled up penis as an excuse to turn them down, drives them positively crazy.

Hence, the narcissistic rage comes out in all it's impotent glory. Oh, and anyone pulling something like this is most certainly not a friend of yours, however much they may previously have pretended to be. It's the same old Nice Guy SOP, except with a dress on.

Kick 'em to the curb and don't look back.

[–]xanditAGAB (Assigned Gay at Birth) 24 insightful - 6 fun24 insightful - 5 fun25 insightful - 6 fun -  (1 child)

Give me your body or else transphobia

[–]ElectricSheepSuperBi 17 insightful - 4 fun17 insightful - 3 fun18 insightful - 4 fun -  (0 children)

Having standards is phobia. Requiring a sexual attraction to your partner is phobia.

Saying no is phobia.

[–]haveanicedaytoo💗💜💙 22 insightful - 8 fun22 insightful - 7 fun23 insightful - 8 fun -  (0 children)

Since I like both "genders"

Love how he's both genders when it's convenient for him.

[–]indeepshadowsBi woman 16 insightful - 1 fun16 insightful - 0 fun17 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Oof, that's such bullshit. It sounds like your friend is trying to emotionally manipulate you into having sex with her, and that's rapey as heck. I'm glad you're not falling for it, but it's still terrible she's putting you into that situation. It's your body, and the way you feel attraction is something you can't help. I hope you've told your husband about this. Having friends like this is probably not great for you in the long run.

Personally, I've not been in a situation like this with a trans person, but it's happened with some girls who have not understood that my being bi doesn't mean I'm automatically attracted to every man and woman on the planet.

[–]notdelusionalbased faggot 13 insightful - 4 fun13 insightful - 3 fun14 insightful - 4 fun -  (4 children)

I keep saying bi is where this problem really gets exposed. This guy isn't wrong that bi people "like both genders" so I can see how it would follow that him being a male shouldn't be a disqualifying factor. But he's not a woman.

I've made the analogy in the old sub that it reminds me how boats and vehicles are purpose built. You may enjoy both motoring and boating 😛, but why settle for something that's been modified to approximate the other when there is plenty of the real thing? It would be like going to shop for a car and the salesperson berating you for not wanting to test drive some boat with wheels he has sitting on the lot.

The whole thing is absurd and this guy's reaction is childish.

[–]femmetica 6 insightful - 3 fun6 insightful - 2 fun7 insightful - 3 fun -  (0 children)

very apt metaphor... yeah just because I'm bi doesn't mean I want to drive a boat on dry land, or in my much harsher analogy, fuck a Mr. Potato Head.

[–]zeusdx1118 4 insightful - 1 fun4 insightful - 0 fun5 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

This guy isn't wrong that bi people "like both sexes"

FTFY because it's about sex, and not about "gender" nor male/female stereotypes.

[–]notdelusionalbased faggot 2 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 0 fun3 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Agree and that's why I put it in quotes.

[–]drunkthrowwaay 3 insightful - 2 fun3 insightful - 1 fun4 insightful - 2 fun -  (0 children)

Great metaphor dude.

[–]quickbeam 13 insightful - 1 fun13 insightful - 0 fun14 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

How hard is it for some people to understand that just because you're attracted to a woman or a man in general doesn't mean you're attracted to every woman or every man? I mean, the trans part doesn't even need to enter into it. If people who liked women were attracted to just any woman, how easy would dating suddenly be? Except they're not and it's not, and this person needs to grow the eff up.

[–]LiterallyawomanTERF IRL 12 insightful - 2 fun12 insightful - 1 fun13 insightful - 2 fun -  (1 child)

10 years ago I tried to come out as bi and was ostracized and bullied by straights. Now I would never come out because I don’t want to be ostracized and bullied by all the GeNdEr QuEeR loonies who only take a break from talking about their endless identify politics to police other people’s (especially women).

[–]FrenchiePup 2 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 0 fun3 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

That was before LGB was "cool". Now everybody pretends being queer at least.

[–]oofreesouloo⚡super lesbian⚡ 10 insightful - 1 fun10 insightful - 0 fun11 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

I'm so sorry that you had to go through that. Honestly, it doesn't matter to them what sexual orientation you have. They'll always have excuses. Whether you're lesbian, gay, bi, if you don't date them - TRANSPHOBIC! GENITAL FETISHIST! It's so infuriating how to do that. In this case, how they imply that bi people f*ck anyone and everything they see.......

[–]PlayCardsNotPeople 9 insightful - 2 fun9 insightful - 1 fun10 insightful - 2 fun -  (0 children)

"Look, my pussy doesn't get wet at the thought of banging Kim Kardashian*, so I wouldn't do her even if given the choice.
For the same reason, I'm not going to bang you."
*replace by celebrity of your choice

[–]Ladis_Wascheharuum 6 insightful - 1 fun6 insightful - 0 fun7 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

I'm not saying I could never be into a trans person, because who knows?

This is interesting. I'm a bi guy and it's similar for me. I'm not physically repulsed by androgyny (it's actually kinda hot) or an incongruous set of sex characteristics (if it's done well). I could see myself with a trans person.

It's just that trans politics have become so toxic and orwellian now, I don't want to get involved with it at all. If I were with a trans person, I would see them, in certain important ways, as their birth sex. That's now considered unacceptable. You have to be 100% in on their "true gender". Anything less is bigotry.

There's no bigger turn-off than that.

[–]indeepshadowsBi woman 4 insightful - 1 fun4 insightful - 0 fun5 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

I feel much the same way. I'm not repulsed by trans people sexually, but I think my attraction would require them to be pre-bottom surgery. And even then, my lizard brain would read them as members of their birth sex, and it's kind of pointless to argue against the lizard brain with logic or emotion. And then there's the matter of all the other (mental) baggage trans people carry...

So yeah, I don't think I'd be what a trans person would want from a partner.

[–]Ossidiana 6 insightful - 1 fun6 insightful - 0 fun7 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

"You're transphobic" is "I'm trying to guilt/shame you into having sex with me". Just answer like this: it's not because you're trans, it's because I don't like you as a person! Then proceed to mention some non-gender related things you don't like about them. Their annoying views on something, their leering gaze, their political views, anything.

[–]PenseePansyBio-Sex or Bust 6 insightful - 1 fun6 insightful - 0 fun7 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Several things:

First, you're bisexual, not "bigenderal" (especially since no such thing even exists), right? So where your potential for sexual attraction is concerned, whatever genderfeelz someone might have just ain't relevant.

Second, part of this seems rooted in a crappy attitude which, while here being weaponized for trans-creeper purposes, is actually far more pervasive: that bisexuality somehow doesn't even qualify as a sexual orientation at all. Meaning that-- unlike heterosexuality or homosexuality (gay/lesbian)-- it isn't seen as a matter of who you're attracted to/"oriented towards" based on their biological sex. Instead, it's being "sexually-indiscriminate": not so much "oriented towards both sexes" as "biological sex doesn't even MATTER to me". Which is the very antithesis of a sexual orientation right there. Thus denying the validity of bisexuality, insulting bi people, and displaying woeful ignorance in one fell swoop.

Finally, being accused of "TRANSPHOBIA!!!" 'cause you declined girldick: I always wonder-- do these people ever realize that this gives those they're harassing the perfect out? Like, if Mr. Ladyfeelz really BELIEVED this, then he wouldn't wanna fuck you anyway, right? Lest he get contaminated with your bigot-cooties? So: problem of his unwanted attentions solved! And if he DOESN'T actually believe it? Dude's a liar. The kind who'll say anything to make you do what he wants. Proof positive of just how much he deserved your "no" in the first place. Plus, given his own gross display of biphobia, well: trans who live in glass houses REALLY shouldn't be throwing stones.

And I think that most of us (OP no doubt included) were over THIS kinda shit even before it even started.

[–]zeusdx1118 5 insightful - 1 fun5 insightful - 0 fun6 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Her argument is that since I like both "genders", and I'm in an open marriage, I should be cool with getting with her.

First off, if it someone is "arguing" that you should have sex with them, then you shouldn't have sex with them. This is borderline rapey and predatory as fuck. Second, this person sounds like a creepy stalking narcissist.

Was told I'm just transphobic.

Is this a thing that my other bi sisters and brothers are experiencing?

Yeah. That's pretty much the whole routine they do, and it's why a lot of people (for example, even just the ones here) are pretty bothered by them at this point. It's always "do what I want, think what I think, etc, otherwise you're 'transphobic' and some kind of awful prejudice person." They like to use the awful-prejudice-person tag as a way to attack people for things or get people attacked for things when they don't get what they want for whatever deranged reason they want it. It's just a bullying method.

Bad people have realized others don't like injustice nor bad and wrong doings lately, so they like to use the "I'm the victim" or the "I'm the good guy" act and try to make others out to be the bad people now, so they can manipulate the mindless and gullible to rally behind them in their bad and wrong doings.

[–]zerosis 4 insightful - 1 fun4 insightful - 0 fun5 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Ugh, this is disgusting and I'm sorry you're going through this. I'm proud of you for staying firm in your boundaries, though.

[–]Silverdarling 4 insightful - 1 fun4 insightful - 0 fun5 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Sounds like a budding rapist, whatever bullshit gender patter he's spewing out at you. Whether gay, straight or bi - nobody ever needs to provide reasons for why they decline sex with someone. People who pretend not to understand this prove themselves to be abusers who are already attacking their victim's sexual boundaries and self-confidence. Today this man is using a bullshit gender slur on you to try to force you into sex with him, but who knows what such a basketcase of delusional woowoo is capable of tomorrow? I wouldn't leave any beverages that you intend to consume anywhere near this predator. And stick close to friends if you're out and about and he appears. Men like this are inwardly angry, overly entitled, and very dangerous to others - whatever 'gender identity' they choose to costume themselves in.

[–]Gynoid_being 3 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 0 fun4 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Lesbian, monogamous. No, you dont own sex to anyone no matter if you are asexual or promiscuous. A lot of LGB folks handle rejection and cry alone, often isolated from their family/peers and e.t. cetera, because gay people experiences rejection to abuse at certain degree and some people live in homophobic and dangerous places. I think, its common for (the most) of us to get used to rejection for different reasons or reject a lot of other people, so we value consent in relationship. But a lot of trooooons act like stereotypical spoiled creeps, who got used to constant validation from everyone, no matter consent/morality/people`s boundaries , "I want that toy, give that to me" mentality

[–]PainfulTruthsMatter 3 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 0 fun4 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

I'm not into her for a variety of reasons that would be very rude to mention.

Him. You're not into him. You're in a space where you're not obligated to police your own language, and we can all guess the reasons why you're not into a man who identifies as a woman because few people are attracted to someone with massive hangups around their personal identity.