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[–]snub-nosedmonkey 4 insightful - 1 fun4 insightful - 0 fun5 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

I think the answer is easiest to understand from a more objective, scientific perspective, which I've attempted to summarise from the best of my knowledge:

While usually described as a social construct, there is also a biological basis to gender. There are 'masculine' and 'feminine' characteristics which relate to physical features. There are clear differences between male and female bodies, for example. On average, there are are also differences between male and female brains, although these differences are very small. There is a huge amount of variation within each sex and there is not really such a thing as a 'typical male' or 'typical female' brain. Nevertheless, on average, there are differences in behaviour between males and females. These differences are innate, but they are also reinforced and sometimes enhanced by society. There is also a ton of evidence for innate gender behaviour differences, on average, in other animals such as primates. The idea that 'gendered behaviour' is purely a result of socialisation and culture is refuted by science.

[–]MarkJeffersonTight defenses and we draw the line 4 insightful - 1 fun4 insightful - 0 fun5 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Exactly. Kinda similar to what I was thinking:

"If gender is a set of behaviours, norms, and affects associated with sexual or identitarian role groupings, then what differentiates it from stereotypes? If it's taken as default that gender exists as an idea distinct from but linked to sex, is gendered behaviour a choice, a decision, or some sort of social programming?"

It's both. It's a choice, social programming, and also there's a biologically intrinsic element to it. I think the intrinsic characteristics showed up first in our evolution, and later on, culture emphasized them with expectations that people either followed consciously or subconsciously. And clearly many people go beyond these expectations by making the their behaviours even more pronounced and making up new things that may not be intrinsic at all.