I almost got taken in by a romance scammer from Africa.. all she needed was six hundred dollars so that she could pay the back taxes on her three hundred acre cocoa bean farm.

You better bet that I googled about those cocoa beans, and apparently can eat em raw, that is what I remember.

I was looking for my billfold so could see if I could scrape up the six bills that my sweet African princess needed so despately to pay the evil tax collector, so that he wouldn't take "our" cocoa bean farm from us.

She mentioned to me that her father "was" a king, so naturally I googled about African kings.

I was daydreaming about walking nekked with my new royal princess thru our three hundred acre cocoa bean farm, but apparently I drug my feet a bit too long and so she asked me if she could just "borrow" two hundred and fifty bucks so she could open a boutique to sell used bras and panties

This is actually a true story, I am almost embarrassed to admit.

$250 loan so she can open a boutique to sell used bras and panties?

That sounded awful, a far shot from me living on a massive cocoa bean farm and we could always stop over and have a late lunch with the king.

..and that was the end of that romantic affair..

..and then there was that white girl from Morocco in that hot black skirt.. we texted for a bit, and then it morphed into some really intense sexting.. until she asked me if I might like to get down with a dude.. I thought that was an odd thing for a nice girl to ask me, until she revealed to me that she was actually a male and now he assured me that he could do all those things that I like from a girl.

I passed on that, but he stalked me to Facebook, it was a nightmare getting rid of him

Love is blind.