Divorce attorney/support for soon to be trans widow in NYS?

submitted by Oxfordcomma from self.GenderCritical

I hope this is okay to post here. Generally, I'd use Ovarit but they're not accepting posts/comments right now.

Does anyone know of any GC attorneys or legal organizations that practice in NYS? A friend of mine has an increasingly abusive spouse and has been making an escape plan from, but has recently discovered that he's planning to "trans himself" (she said she found giant women's clothing in his closet, breast prosthetics, etc.) and she believes he probably we be announcing his "discovery" next week. I don't have all the details around it, but I know that she's the breadwinner and he's chronically unemployed. They've been married for a decade plus with no kids, and I believe they're both on their house deed. She's not super GC or politically active, but also not a handmaid, so she reached out to a few friends for help. I don't have any resources or connections in NYS, but I know it's a generally liberal area, so if anyone knows of who she could contact, please let me know! Also, as it seems like things are becoming physically abusive, any women's shelters or DV orgs that could help her out without browbeating her for not "accepting" her TIM spouse would be great as well.

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[–]WrongToy 7 insightful - 1 fun7 insightful - 0 fun8 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

I would contact Alliance Defending Freedom to see if they have references to nys licensed family court lawyers.

[–]Oxfordcomma[S] 4 insightful - 1 fun4 insightful - 0 fun5 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Thank you very much!

[–]Akatonbo 6 insightful - 1 fun6 insightful - 0 fun7 insightful - 1 fun -  (2 children)

she believes he probably we be announcing his "discovery" next week

Offtopic, but if she knows he is about to have his stunning and brave uwu teehee coming out, why not preempt it by sending photos of his prosthetic breasts and giant women's clothing to everyone in the family? As in UGH LOOK AT THIS AUTOGYNEPHILE AND HIS MASTURBATORY PARAPHERNALIA! Poor little me, look what I was forced to endure in my marriage! It's disgusting, right? Right?!

I have an inkling that the stunning and brave feminine penis may find way less support after everyone around him is forced to consider an idea that his coming out is not some praizeworthy deed of an oppressed minority member but a (not so uncommon) male masturbatory fantasy.

[–]Oxfordcomma[S] 4 insightful - 1 fun4 insightful - 0 fun5 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

I'll float that idea past her. At this point, I'm extremely concerned he will kill her, especially if she in any way damages his delusions.

She came here from Croatia for college, and has no family in the US. He cut her off, as much as possible, from most of her college friends (she can only speak to me and our other roommate through FB messenger) and tries to force her to stop going to church and has basically forced her to work for his family business. It's very textbook abuse.

I also think his family might be very performatively liberal. They've already transed her fifth grader nephew so they might respond with "uWu "she's" so brave" when they see the paraphernalia.

[–]ChaikiKarabli 3 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 0 fun4 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Yeah I have no expertise in this arena but she need to gtfo of there ASAP. Fuck what the family thinks. If the shelters available to her are run by handmaidens, she doesn't have to tell them heretical thoughts. An abusive woman would have no right to access her in a shelter, so even if they are all in, they should keep her safe from her specific abuser.