Just a quick one for our OSA attracted women who still choose to date men, or are currently in a relationship with one (godspeed, honestly). With a lot of trans widows out there, I'd like to share some common patterns I've noticed with trans women that commonly pop up with "egg" or closeted trans women. As someone who works in a high-AGP environment (I'm a programmer, kill me) I have seen many of these happen in the wild, along with seeing a lot of AGP men describe their own experiences with their own culture, and signs of being trans they bond with each other about.
Mild red flags:
1) Porn addiction interest in lesbians and lesbian pornography:
Now, if your man into into porn in general, I would suggest dumping them. To go more into detail about this, most heterosexual men enjoy lesbian porn as consumption - it's not an immediate sign he's AGP since a lot of straight men are into homoerotic porn in general, but it's a common thing AGPs like as they enjoy porn of women so they can self-insert themselves as a woman in said pornography.
Even if he's not watching the porn, if he obsesses over lesbians to a creepy degree you should take note.
2) Interest in anime/manga:
Anime and manga does not inherently make a man an AGP. Not all anime/manga is inherently fetishist or objectify women/lesbians - some are pretty normal and anime can be diverse - however, a lot does. Not only that, there are many genres that are extremely pornographic in a casual measure, even non-porn anime can sometimes have themes that promote lesbophobic or autogynephilic fetishes.
Genres are that very popular with AGPs:
a) The "cute girls doing cute things" / Moeblob centric anime. (You know, those girl animes with big eyes and big boobs? Or "lolis".) Read more here.
b) Anime and anime fandoms (IE: touhou) that purely have a female cast, but isn't written for a female audience and mostly have themes that appeal to men in terms of fanservice. (Similar to above).
c) Ecchi/hentai yuri (lesbian) animes.
d) Anime that has "traps" in them (girls that are actually men).
e) Futanari anime or anime that contains them (characters that have both a penis and vagina).
You usually find many closeted AGP nerds who are into anime have an anime girl avatar online on message boards when they begin picking up these types of anime. If he's just watching his silly shonen mecha anime you're probably safe, but the genres listed above are usually the red flags.
3) Being a furry
Similar to being into anime, the furry fandom has issues with a high number AGP men as well. This is likely to be due to the similarity of porn saturation like the anime community. Not that you should date a furry, they're pretty gross. Not even once.
4) Nerdy/shy/intelligent/internet person/gamer
If he's a bit of a gamer/nerd/quiet/bookwormy/a roleplayer/intelligent or into far left/far right politics/into internet culture you can add some points onto this. This also applies to current and former incels. This isn't really inherent to being AGP and many men who are like this aren't AGP, but there's an overlap. One theory is many men like this have autism spectrum disorder, and while there's nothing wrong with that at all, there's an unexplained overlap with autism and transness/AGP. Autism is not something I'd promote stigmatization of any degree. There's no explanation on why some autistic or nerdy men turn out to be AGP - it could be exposure to internet culture (which is common to both autistic men and women!) that draws them into internet communities (cough /r/egg_irl) that discuss or encourage aspects of the fetish or transitioning or some component.
Another thing I notice is men like this who are gamers while being AGP tend to play female characters exclusively a lot in video games.
Big red flags:
1) Crossdressing/feminine presentation:
Listen, I'm all for gender non-conformity and people breaking the norms of feminine and masculine behaviours - that's a part of being gender critical and that should not inherently be looked down upon, but this is often a bigger red flag when it comes to heterosexual men. It's hard to tell if your guy could be breaking gender norms and wearing what he wants, or living out a fetish in our current society.
Some ways of determining this is seeing how he does this, namely, is it emulating pornographic stereotypes? One thing I have noticed with AGPs is that they don't just dress femininely if they begin crossdressing, but they dress "girlishly" like a child/teen or like a pinup doll. One could argue he's trying to be sexy, but there's usually an "off" and unsettling vibe about it like he's dressing up as the woman he wants to be in his adult fantasy sense even if it doesn't make sense to his body type, instead of actually trying to look flattering as gender non-conforming adult.
Common themes you'll find is him choosing odd outfits like pleated short "anime style" schoolgirl skirts (like anime characters), maid costumes, little girl outfits (with pastel colors) that aren't age appropriate, and things that women don't typically wear (unless they're doing an e-girl skit and trying to appease pornsick men).
2) Developing a sissy fetish/masochistic:
This lies into the previous point, some men aren't overt about displaying AGP style clothing habits in public but prefer to request sissification in the bedroom. This usually involves him desiring to crossdress during sexual play, asking to be pegged/dominated, or to be called a girl during sex. This is a pretty bad flag in general for men and usually indicates some level of porn addiction (his internet history may testify). Many men like to imagine themselves as a female during sex, and because their basic perception of being a woman is being submissive, they want to play this role - it's far from "breaking gender norms" since he himself sees himself in that moment as a gender conforming woman. The worse cases are the ones into sissy BDSM, and BDSM in general.
3) Having an alarming amount of kinks/porn use:
A lot of AGP men tend to be pornsick and have a laundry list of kinks. Probably more than the average man. Of course, many non-AGP men can too, I'd recommend dumping in any case. Don't do it sis.
4) Tons of trans friends/fascinated by trans politics/is a chaser:
Does he have a lot of trans friends, into trans politics a lot? Does he rant about TERFs? Often these types are just drawn to each other years before they come out, so that's a thing. If he's a chaser, there is a thing called AGAMP which is a type of AGP where people fantasize about being with a trans woman, they are like GAMPs, and often overlap. Many bisexual (or they may call themselves "straight") trans chasers or men who date trans often become trans themselves.
Another red flag is a lot of them may adopt "trans buzzwords" or choose to go by "any pronouns" as a cis guy, this is a ticking time bomb for transing.
5) An unhealthy persistent hatred of trans women:
You may be asking, "wait, how is this a sign? isn't critique of trans issues pretty rational?". There's a difference between boundaries, a reasonable dislike (politically) or scepticism towards trans ideology and its culprits, and then there's emotional obsession. Let me tell you that the men who rage to an obsessive degree (or fantasize about harming) trans women aren't usually actual radfem allies who care about women's rights, often they're closeted AGAMPs who are often want to become trans themselves but are closeted and take that masculine rage out on other males who are trans identified to cover that shame or to assert patriarchal superiority over them. Male shit basically. The same people are often the ones who kill trans women, too.
6) He tells you:
Some men will tell you they envy women, or want to become one. Or describe their AGP to you without actually naming it.
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