AGP perspective: Cross-dressing feels Odd.

submitted by TRapostate from self.GenderCritical

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[–]stunaep 2 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 0 fun3 insightful - 1 fun -  (5 children)

You never capitalize your "i"s. Please start doing that. You must take responsibility for yourself and you must do that be being as fully behind your self as possible. You capitalize "I" for the same reason you do not crawl around in the world. Or, more accurately, you do it to fully affirm what you say as yours when you use I. And above when I ask you "who" this they you speak of are: avoid hiding yourself behind some amorphous "they" you hope are just like yourself and deal with your self and use "I".

Sorry but this is just insufferable. It's an internet forum post. And this guy is involved with communities of AGPs.

And I very much disagree that he shouldn't post here.

Your comment comes off as very dismissive and I find it odd that you are trying to compartmentalize here. There are fetishistic aspects but he clearly didn't develop the fetish for no reason. There are cultural influences and the way they interact with his personality is very important for understanding the condition. If we want to eradicate this condition we need to understand it, and I, for one, seek to help these people.

[–]FlippyKing 3 insightful - 2 fun3 insightful - 1 fun4 insightful - 2 fun -  (4 children)

What I typed is meant to be helpful. I also think the "i" thing is not something to throw away as "well, it's the internet and who has time to find the shift key?" You capitalized your I each time it came up. I'm not sure if you think his "i"s are typos, but they are always there, you didn't do it once. Small sample size? Maybe, but I think other things I see in his post are consistent with why intentional or subconscious use of "i" is a symptom of a problem.

I'm glad you think his post is on topic for this forum. I recently had a long discussion which can be found in this forum about if a discussion was on topic or not. This does not seem to deal with GC exactly, but instead it seems to deal with this guy trying to walk back what AGP is away from completely pervy crap. It's also obviously a guy issue almost exclusively, especially as he is raising it. Some participants here have had enough hearing what guys think or, worse, about guy's problems.

I really find it hard to think you think I come off as dismissive, or trying to compartmentalize here, and I find that hard if you are referring to just the quoted part or my whole comment. By bringing attention the "i" thing I am taking this beyond just what ever he's saying about women's clothing, and into him as a human. So, how is that compartmentalizing?

If I'm being dismissive, why would I be talking about this in such holistic terms? What am I dismissing, or missing? I'm really asking you this, because I do want to see this clearly and want to address it well.

I'm glad you seek to help these people. I'm sorry you think I am not. I also see your other reply to him here in this thread has been very helpful. Uhmm ... where is is, exactly? I seem to have lost track of it. Since you do find this matter on topic for the forum, perhaps you could repost your reply to him, because I can't seem to find it.

[–]TRapostate[S] 2 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 0 fun3 insightful - 1 fun -  (3 children)

i found your post to be a bit harsh, esp the beginning there... but i did get some things from it. i do think you have misinterpreted me though. i do think these feelings are ultimately stemming from an AGP drive. it's just that i think it's odd how it manifests in that particular kind of experience. i don't mean to somehow rationalize or downplay the activity, or say that it's somehow innocent on account of these subjective feelings. i just think that particular experience is interesting, and a parallel motivator, and for many i'm sure it helps to convince themselves that they have a case of latent transgenderism. i'm wondering if it's something like, for a normal man who might want say, some raunchy wallpaper for his computer. after a while he's not going to get horny from it any longer, but he just likes having it still. something like that, mixed with some other something in the brain, combines and makes an odd but powerful sensation. as if it were music for the skin.

[–]FlippyKing 3 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 0 fun4 insightful - 1 fun -  (2 children)

i do think these feelings are ultimately stemming from an AGP drive. it's just that i think it's odd how it manifests in that particular kind of experience ... i'm wondering if it's something like, for a normal man who might want say, some raunchy wallpaper for his computer. after a while he's not going to get horny from it any longer, but he just likes having it still.

I think it is insidious, and if it were something that really bothered either your rationality or your emotions you would reject it out right. So the distractions, wrongly-ordered thoughts (in that what ever thing you should be doing it is a thought that is wrongly-ordered to that purpose), "passions" as they rightly are or were called, that do linger in your mind and grow are these. Every one has them even if they: are different for each person, or change culturally, or have any other rational reason for their variation. If they didn't vary, we could deal with them much more easily the same way the problem of how to best play scales on a piano has been solved because hands and pianos don't really change.

You should probably drop the idea of a "normal man", especially that you are some how different in any useful way in this matter from a "normal man", but even without dropping that idea your assumption about him and the pin-up model computer wall paper is wrong. It, as it is the same thing under a different guise for a different person, is insidious. He will develop a tolerance to the dopamine hit he gets from seeing her photo no matter what it is. It will become a sort of default. He will want more. If he can't "upgrade" his computer wall paper to something that does titillate him then he will find that upgrade elsewhere.

It is an arc that can also be seen in the way porn has evolved. Playboy centerfolds started off topless, to some variant of full-frontal to various degrees of "grooming" and shaving so guys could see more to bleached butt-holes and more and more photo editing over the course of like 50 years, while Bob Guccione and Larry Flint "pushed the envelope further" but also had their own similar arc over time. Women in porn must do things that women in porn 30 years ago would never do. Those arcs over years or decades in magazines is the same arc just faster for each guy. It, regardless of what the specific "it" is, is insidious.

It can't be music for the skin because the skin in this context only sends information to the brain. It is the brain, not recognizing the wrongly-ordered thought for what it is, not discarding it, and not occupying itself with a thought worthy of your time. The nerve endings in the skin are only the messenger, the brain is, or you are, misinterpreting those messages.

When I read that you found my post a bit harsh, I thought "it probably was". Then I went are reread it to see what I might want to rethink or change in how I say it. I don't really think I was harsh. Maybe the subject matter is harsh. Thing is, you are not looking at this cross-dressing thing and what ever feelings you get from it from a position of authority over it. You have things you need to do, things you should be doing, and things that waste your time. You also have things your are right about and things you are wrong about. How can a bit of clothing effect how you feel just because it's designed for women? First off, women often talk about how badly clothing made for them feels and fits. How can that somehow be "right" for you? (The IT Crowd and women's slacks not withstanding as it's a joke) It says you have a disordered thought about what clothing does, or a disordered thought about yourself (along the lines of what you're spending your time or money on (I hope you're not wearing someone else's clothing in all this. Ewww. stop). It makes no sense, your brain is being fooled but you can know that and correct it. "But it feels good? So what? Regardless, you know it is also insidious and will grow into something that takes you far from what ever it is you should be spending your time on, and feeding you new rationalizations that will turn to lies soon enough.

The "i" thing though: seriously, take a step towards owning your thoughts instead of finding ways to think the sensation is some how really good, by capitalizing your "i"s into "I"s even if it seems unrelated.

[–]TRapostate[S] 2 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 0 fun3 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

i do not understand what you mean honestly. i actually haven't crossdressed in years, i am just going from memory on what it felt like. i am not seeking to justify or rationalize anything. i am simply explaining an odd manifestation of experience that i agree ultimately stems from a destructive place. i do think people are confused about the sensations i am describing. and i think dismissing it in the way you are ultimately serves to hinder your understanding of this phenomena.

[–]FlippyKing 3 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 0 fun4 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

What am I misunderstanding? Your brain gets feelings of a different kind based on who your brain thinks the clothing was made for. I think that's pretty accurate.