why AGP sometimes takes over

submitted by TRapostate from self.GenderCritical

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[–]censorshipment 2 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 0 fun3 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

I get this, although I'm a homosexual female and attracted to myself (autosexual, as you mentioned). I watched porn on cable networks (Cinemax aka "Skinemax", Showtime, HBO) back in the 80s starting at age 5... and I always imagined myself in the dominant position as the man. I NEVER saw myself being fucked... unless the woman was riding the man's dick. That's my favorite position when I wear a strapon... a woman riding me like a cowgirl. My childhood sexual fantasies came true. 😏😄 I started dating girls when I was 14 and using a strapon at age 16... and I did go through a phase of identifying as a guy because I hated being seen sexually as female by my girlfriends.

My mom fought very hard to normalize my sexuality and "gender identity". She repeatedly told me I don't have to see myself as a man to have sex with other women. But I can't really change that... I only see myself sexually as a woman when I masturbate and I'm touching my own pussy.

I do have a hormonal imbalance and went through a weird puberty of becoming more masculine (my voice deepened, I grew facial hair, my sex drive and physical strength were ridiculously high). My ex recently called me a man with big boobs. 😅 In the lesbian world, I'm a stone butch / touch-me-not stud.

[–]TRapostate[S] 1 insightful - 1 fun1 insightful - 0 fun2 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

hmm... yes it sounds like something similar. when you say "see" yourself, you're imagining like a visual scene/situation? if you have some masculinized characteristics in your brain, i wonder if your fantasies are similar in function to male ones. like people always say men are more visual, and for me i actually do use alot of visual imagery. full on 3d scenes around me, people, props, areas, i can see these things fairly vividly in my mind's eye, and "seeing" the situation around me can turn me on all by itself. if so, it could be that your preferences there were caused indirectly, via the same system that creates male paraphilias, in a reduced form. instead of say, some natural inclination toward that.