why AGP sometimes takes over

submitted by TRapostate from self.GenderCritical

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[–]stunaep 4 insightful - 1 fun4 insightful - 0 fun5 insightful - 1 fun -  (3 children)

I assume you're open to questions, but of course you're free to not answer.

Why are you into feminization? Are you a masochist?

Do you truly have zero attraction to absolutely anyone? What kind of people would you imagine having sex with in your fantasies, even if you personally would argue that it isn't true attraction? Would you be having "lesbian" sex with a girl or would you be getting fucked by a man?

Or are you able to get off without even having fantasies that are that sexual? Are you having sex at all in your fantasies or do you just (look at yourself dressed hyperfeminine)/(imagine some scenario related to feminine dress/female anatomy on yourself) and masturbate?

[–]TRapostate[S] 3 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 0 fun4 insightful - 1 fun -  (2 children)

yes i am masochistic. i think the feminization was just probably what i happened to settle on. i can remember being a late bloomer somewhat, i was worried for a while that i was gay, just because my sex drive seemed to take longer to kick in. i didn't ever have an orgasm until i was 15. the first time was while thinking of how feminine i felt wearing a thong. but until then for years, i had fairly frequently been consuming content where i would identify with the "victim" of a story and experience what they did vicariously. usually erotica or comics or just imagination. so i think i had a few years of conditioning built up in my brain, of being used to only being aroused to these fantasies and never anything normal. so then once the puberty fully kicked in and i was full of horniness, it all just went that direction.

i think what happens is that the male sex-drive becomes disassociated from wanting women. like if you never built those pathways in your brain, the horniness doesn't go there. like i can find a woman very attractive, and it will make me like her as a person, see her charitably, i would probably be just as vulnerable to sweet talk as any other man. it's just if she tried to seduce me it wouldn't go as expected, i wouldn't have that: [potential sex with female === boner] response. i can get horny to the idea of a having sex with a man but it's more of like an advanced fantasy, "faceless men".

i am able to get off to fantasies that don't seem that sexual but i think they really are. like there have been times where i would get off simply to the "feeling" of being feminine or feminized. i could also probably get off to a feeling of being "controlled" by some sort of bondage scenario. it's odd about with crossdressing though there seems to be this extra kick, idk maybe childhood trauma fearing emasculation? i have wondered if the masochism caused me to like crossdressing or if they are sort of related but independent. but i remember maybe it was my earliest memory i can remember of ever getting aroused. and i think it had to do with the thought of being put back into diapers at too late of an age. i don't know how old i was, maybe even as young as like 7 or 8? i'm thinking maybe it has something to do with a male sex drive latching on to a female caretaker figure? and liking being feminized is really just liking an association to being under the influence of this figure from the perspective of a young boy?

[–]stunaep 2 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 0 fun3 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

i would probably be just as vulnerable to sweet talk as any other man. it's just if she tried to seduce me it wouldn't go as expected, i wouldn't have that: [potential sex with female === boner] response. i can get horny to the idea of a having sex with a man but it's more of like an advanced fantasy, "faceless men".

Truthfully, this sounds gay to me but I'll take your word for it for now that you're not gay.

"it's just if she tried to seduce me it wouldn't go as expected" Then how would it go? You'd want to dress up for her and be admired or something? Or there simply wouldn't be a sexual scenario because you don't work like that?

What kind of porn to you watch? M/M feminization? Or str8 or lesbian?

[–]TRapostate[S] 2 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 0 fun3 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

i just wouldn't get turned on. atleast i think i wouldn't. i've tried many times to vividly imagine women i knew irl that i thought were attractive, i tried to imagine having sex with them in different contexts. but i couldn't get going. i seem to need some sort of story roleplay of something happening to me.

if i could stand the embarrassment, if she wanted to be all dominant, that would probably work.

i wouldn't say i have any particular reaction to being admired.

and oddly, in porn, i'd rather see a woman be partially clothed. i have some sort of (weaker) disgust response to seeing a vagina, but i probably could get over that disgust response quickly i think.

and i've watched many genres, but i do that thing where i project myself onto one of the actors in the porn, i think that's really what got me confused back in the day.. but anything where i could project myself onto the person being the submissive partner. i used to read lots of erotica, watched alot of that hypno, would watch straight porn but imagine being the girl in it, would watch alot of cd porn and imagine being the CD.