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[–]MarkTwainiac 5 insightful - 1 fun5 insightful - 0 fun6 insightful - 1 fun -  (3 children)

If she is this concerned about clothing at this stage, she's possibly seen as female by, well, just about everyone. Let alone senile grandpa there.

Just want to point out that the account that you yourself posted says very clearly that the grandpa in this case is "of sound mind." Being senile doesn't necessarily go hand in hand with being old enough to be a grandparent. Whilst dementia is a serious problem amongst the elderly, it only affects 13-14% of people over 70. Lots of old people have their wits about them. Many are sharp as tacks.

[–]WrongToy[S] 4 insightful - 1 fun4 insightful - 0 fun5 insightful - 1 fun -  (2 children)

Of course you're right. However, the TIF claims that the TIF is being asked to caregive (she really isn't if you read the comment) to a board of mostly grown-ass and tired adults getting together to talk about things like...Hoyer lifts. Catheter care. Incontinence.

She obviously can't handle any of it, and she's obviously itching for the next family fight so she can go cry to reddit. Which she should have already as opposed to bothering responsible people trying to actually, um, help the senior.

[–]MarkTwainiac 3 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 0 fun4 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

I don't understand how your reply in any way relates to point I made in the post you were responding to. I was objecting to you characterizing the old man being prejudged by his grand daughter as "senile grandpa." The TIF says in her OP that he's "of sound mind," and in the comments she added,

Both my grandparents are mentally sound, handle their own finances, have home health aides, and make their own medical decisions and doctor's appointments.

Her claims that she is being asked to be a caregiver for her grandfather have nothing whatsoever to do with your decision to call him senile. What's up with that? To me, it seemed like straight-up ageism.

As to the rest of your reply: my impression of the comments is that most of people who replied to the TIF were genuinely trying to help her out as much as they were "trying to actually, um, help the senior" in the situation.

BTW, I noted that she specifically said it was her father who expected her to be a caregiver. Assuming for a second that this indeed is true, a big assumption I know, the first question that popped into my head was: does the TIF have any brothers, and if so, does the father have the same expectation of his sons?

I wonder if a central underlying issue not being addressed by the TIF's preoccupation with superficialities and her projections onto her grandpa is a resentful awareness that the burden of caregiving in families tends to get placed on the female members - and that unmarried girls & women without children of their own often get particularly taken advantage of by their families in this regard. On top of this, I suspect that given how sexist, misogynistic and in thrall to regressive, narrow sex stereotypes this TIF revealed herself to be in her OP and other comments, she is chafing at the idea that anyone might see her as a potential "caregiver." My hunch is that she disdains being a caregiver and being thought of as a caregiver equally because she sees caregiving as a woman's role, and she is horrified that anyone would associate her with the sex class she sees as lowly and yucky. After all, she made it clear that since she wears neckties and isn't into cooking, she can't possibly be a woman herself, LOL.

[–]WrongToy[S] 1 insightful - 1 fun1 insightful - 0 fun2 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

If gramps is of sound mind, the minute this TIF tries to go all Julia Serano/Riley Dennis theology around him, he should just say, that's it. For Thanksgiving Dinner, we all talk about how the Lions and Dallas are doing. Or the weather. The books you are reading. Your job. Your vacation.

I ain't senile in no way (not yet) but I wouldn't put up with the TIF for one hot minute.