My co-worker transitioned overnight

submitted by ekb88 from self.GenderCritical

I work for a tech company. There are a not-insignificant number of TIMs amongst the engineering department, but I don’t typically interact with them. But just today someone in another dept that I do deal with on a semi-regular basis just transitioned. Like literally yesterday he was “Steve” on Slack, and today he’s “Eve”, with pronouns and picture updated. It’s just creepy. He’s a lovely guy and I’m just so weirded out by this. I can’t talk about it at work at all. I’ll be completely ostracized if I express anything other than enthusiastic endorsement.

Something has gone horribly wrong in our society. I just can’t take it anymore.

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[–]PanhandleNutter 30 insightful - 1 fun30 insightful - 0 fun31 insightful - 1 fun -  (4 children)

At least you didn't get threatened. We had someone transition overnight, and we all woke up to an extremely aggressive announcement that misgendering or deadnaming would result in immediate dismissal. No assumption that we might all behave decently and play along, or that mistakes might happen, but just immediate threats. It was a horrible feeling.

[–]ekb88[S] 12 insightful - 1 fun12 insightful - 0 fun13 insightful - 1 fun -  (2 children)

Wow, that’s awful. Things like this make me want to leave the company, but I’ve been there for years and really like my work and my immediate team. Though everyone on my team is also very TRA-positive. I know my boss at least suspects I lean towards being a “terf”. It’s frustrating to know I just have to keep my mouth shut. It gets harder as these sorts of things get closer to my immediate circle.

[–]xandit 6 insightful - 1 fun6 insightful - 0 fun7 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

I know my boss at least suspects I lean towards being a “terf”.

does he/she care?

[–]slushpilot 3 insightful - 10 fun3 insightful - 9 fun4 insightful - 10 fun -  (0 children)

does he/she care?

It's actually they, you bigot!

[–]Rag3 2 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 0 fun3 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

That sounds unbearable:(.

[–]censorshipment 15 insightful - 2 fun15 insightful - 1 fun16 insightful - 2 fun -  (5 children)

As I say on the drop the T sub... this was a scheme to make straight white men a marginalized group after three prominent movements ended: civil rights in the 60s... women's rights in the 70s, gay rights in the 80s. During the 90s, on those tabloid talk shows such as Jenny Jones, transvestites i.e. straight white men wearing their wives' clothes became more visible... they "came out" as a marginalized group and was ridiculed... but more important shit was also going on, such as the Clinton presidency and his affairs, so these straight white men wearing wigs and dresses were overshadowed for over a decade since the Bush presidency was also more important. They took over during the Obama presidency... Obama became the LGBT+ ally president. Not a coincidence.

I'm only 38 but noticed this shit during my pre-teens... I noticed this surge of white men trying to look like their white wives during the 90s. This is why I will never support straight men being gnc... no woman should've supported her husband wearing her dresses and stockings. Now we have to deal with millions of straight transvestites calling themselves women.

[–]pacmanla 16 insightful - 1 fun16 insightful - 0 fun17 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

I've said this exact same thing. I find it strange & ridiculous that a heterosexual male would "identify" as a woman, just so he can claim being a lesbian & forcing himself on females of that sexual orientation. As a heterosexual male, that crap is just weird as hell to me.

[–]ekb88[S] 13 insightful - 1 fun13 insightful - 0 fun14 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

It’s frightening isn’t it? This one just feels like a punch in the gut. I did some random googling and realized he was married. Found an obituary for his wife’s mother. The mother passed away early September of last year. So the wife has the anniversary of her mother’s death, and a husband coming out as a woman. Poor thing must be a mess. I can’t imagine.

[–]jjdub7Gay Male Guest Commentator 9 insightful - 1 fun9 insightful - 0 fun10 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

this was a scheme to make straight white men a marginalized group

Either that, or a ploy to actually marginalize white people, because it seems to be mostly white guys who fall into this shit and essentially self-sterilize.

The fascist far-right and the degenerate far-left both seek to sterilize the "undesireables" of society, the only difference being that the left convinces them to do it voluntarily, with cheers and asspats to follow.

[–]Rag3 2 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 0 fun3 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

It’s a big thing that’s being done to indigenous kids here who are in foster care as well. :(

[–]Rag3 2 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 0 fun3 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

I always thought this was an American thing that would never enter the real world in the 90s. How wrong I was. :(. It has spread like mold.

[–]WrongToy 8 insightful - 1 fun8 insightful - 0 fun9 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

At my old work, some TIF transitioned maybe overnight, maybe not. It was so stressful being around her then because you'd be on pins and needles. Like, I say "dude" all the time at work as a universal, so I called her dude. Good thing it was "dude."

These people are delusional, 90 percent of them.

[–]Nonime 3 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 0 fun4 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

I’ll be completely ostracized if I express anything other than enthusiastic endorsement

I'm pretty sure you can find a non-fireable line of apathetic/indifferent. Use his preferred pronouns because you're legally required to, and don't react to anything else. That can be your rebellion. You're not required to be enthusiastic over someone's personal life at work.