Two sides of the same coin - Ovarit

submitted by anxietyaccount8 from ovarit.com

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[–]anxietyaccount8[S] 5 insightful - 1 fun5 insightful - 0 fun6 insightful - 1 fun -  (2 children)

It is ridiculous that people think they're trans because of anime, porn, or fanfiction. That said, a lot of women who are NB/trans and consuming that content are young or even teenage girls. Teenage girls generally do not want to hurt or fetishize anyone.

[–]Hypothetical_Concept 3 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 0 fun4 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

I’m not sure a “fetish” is the same thing to men/teenage boys and women/teenage girls. The overt sexual content may be less important than being able to romanticize or idealize something that is sexual, but safe. Girls often feel threatened or nervous with heavily masculine males — or the idea of rough, overt sex — and tend to look for a soft teenybopper idol they can imagine kissing. I once read that the preteen girl’s popular preoccupation with horses was a kind of mental coping strategy. They’re big and powerful— but gentle.

[–]jjdub7Gay Male Guest Commentator 2 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 0 fun3 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

being able to romanticize or idealize something that is sexual, but safe

Yeah, the brief discussion on that thread delves a bit into yaoi, and whether it negatively impacts gay men. It's something I roll my eyes at, but not something that legitimately alters or distorts societal perceptions of gay men, certainly not in the way that made-for-men lesbian porn does.

I 'get' the allure of the portrayed safety of the relationships in yaoi, though they're largely a total fiction worlds away from the realities of gay dating and the circuit/party scene and other highly-sexualized gay men's spaces.

What I find sad about this is that so many young women who consume such media don't feel that they could ever find "safety" with a straight man. My parents have been happily married for over 40 years and started dating when they were teenagers. I think it's the cultural shift (increased sexualization, decreased emphasis on family, etc.) we've seen over that time period which has lowered the bar of expectations when it comes to dating and self-perception.