all 7 comments

[–]FlippyKing 7 insightful - 1 fun7 insightful - 0 fun8 insightful - 1 fun -  (2 children)

Ask her to look and see if the people who transition that she knows are happy and seem in a healthy state of mind-- but don't base that on what they say they feel or how they describe the difference from before or after, but on actual observation.

I don't understand the idea that you "are" or "might be" what you like, instead of what you are. I also don't understand how it is tough to see that we are what we are and none of us fit into the roles society wants us conform to. Switching into the socially constructed category that seems to fit us better only validates the system that creates the roles, not us.

[–]MinisterOfTerfery 3 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 0 fun4 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

My advice is to not tell her what to do, just mostly lend a supporting ear to her. I would however point out to her over and over again that, for example, you think male voice are attractive but you're still a woman, that you prefer male characters as well but that is most probably because male characters are usually written as more interesting and complex etc.

[–]myloudneighbors 3 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 0 fun4 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

Whenever some woman says she likes 'masculine things' (aka things other than beauty and childbirth) and that makes her a man, i'd like them to know that, same! Because most women like things other than what is supposedly 'feminine' and liking stuff in general is a human, not male experience.

[–]JasonNecks 3 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 0 fun4 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

She should probably read this blog series from a detransitioner: https://hormonehangover.substack.com/p/top-surgery-regret-part-1

[–]MarkTwainiac 2 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 0 fun3 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

I'm curious about her thinking she might be trans because she

hates pregnancy/periods

Has she been pregnant? If so, how many times, & what was the outcome? Did she have unwanted pregnancy/ies that necessitated abortion(s)? Did she have a unwanted pregnancy/ies that resulted in miscarriage/s or stillbirth? Did she carry a pregnancy/ies to term & have bad birth experiences?

I suspect asking her to provide details might reveal she hews to a lot of sexist sex stereotypes about pregnancy & is steeped in misogyny. And might have mummy issues.

If her issue is with hating having to worry about unwanted pregnancy & to take precautions to prevent pregnancy, that's a different story.

I also find it bizarre that she thinks a sign she might be trans is the fact that she

thinks male voices are attractive

Tons of people think male voices are attractive, & always have. Some of the greatest orators & singers ever have been boys & men with male voices. A good deal of the singers I listen to every day have male voices. Doesn't mean I'm "trans" LOL.

Also, what is "trans" really? Nobody actually "transitions." All trans-identified people do is adopt new labels/identity badges, alter their bodies through drugs & surgery that are bound to screw them up down the line if not in the immediate term or present, & engage in a lot of playacting & attempts to exert authoritarian control over the perceptions, speech & thoughts of other people. Seems to me like a recipe for really screwing up your life.

[–]MaleFriedanFan 2 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 0 fun3 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Sometimes it is hard to gauge a person's seriousness because they are uncomfortable revealing the extent of the crisis. For some people, transitioning is their alternative to suicide. They have trouble seeing a way out of what they are struggling through, so when transitioning promises a solution it is very compelling.

So whatever you go with, it's important to provide another way out.

As you pointed out, she is considering this despite it causing family problems, which means that to her, the problem she is currently struggling with is big enough to make it seem worth it.