Just ribboned campus and now I’m scared.

submitted by wokuspokus from (self.GenderCritical)

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[–]TheOnyxGoddess 1 insightful - 1 fun1 insightful - 0 fun2 insightful - 1 fun -  (19 children)

a frat did a horrible "joke" about rape, in a very public space.

Was this like a published newspaper joke, walking around making jokes? I'm wondering because it's strange that a newspaper would give the paper to the frat unless he was affiliated with the paper or his joke was published in one of their newspaper.

The frat boys then hounded me, not in a truly scary way, but I was the butt of jokes, and they'd bang on my door. I knew most of the guys. I liked most of the guys. I fought back when I would see one of them - calling them out on their misogyny.

Not too many years later, I saw one of the leaders of the frat and he apologized. And he meant it.

All to say that even the people who seem to be going along with the gender bullshit probably have deep reservations about it and you having the courage to voice what others are feeling will help them find their courage too.

I didn't expect the ending.

[–]BEB 5 insightful - 1 fun5 insightful - 0 fun6 insightful - 1 fun -  (18 children)

The frat did a physical "joke" - they placed an effigy of a woman in obvious distress, in a place where almost everyone on campus would walk by, and indicated that she had been raped and her rape was funny.

This was a long time ago, when US women had just gained some basic civil rights, and there was ferocious push back against feminism. Whoever at the newspaper leaked my letter to the frat was probably pushing back against "femi - nazis" - you know - women who don't view rape as a joke.

Men back then could be Male Chauvinist Pigs, but a sizeable % of men of my generation were actually pretty good. I wasn't scared of the frat boys like university women now seem to be be terrified of trans activists.

I, and other women, could engage male university students in feminist debate and they would consider what we were saying and respond as if we were intelligent human beings.

I agree with J.K. Rowling that we have really gone backwards since then. Men now, on both the Left and the Right, seem to hate women and view our bodies as pure commodities. Which is why I won't shut up.

[–]usehername 6 insightful - 1 fun6 insightful - 0 fun7 insightful - 1 fun -  (14 children)

we have really gone backwards since then

I think the rise of porn is a big reason why.

[–]TheOnyxGoddess 1 insightful - 1 fun1 insightful - 0 fun2 insightful - 1 fun -  (12 children)

I think the rise of porn is a big reason why.

I'm willing to bet that some feminist researcher ran out of ideas and was grasping at bullcrap, much like how someone in psychology published an article stating smiling actually makes the person happier, it took 20 years for the psychology field to figure out that "smiling" does not actually make the person feel "happy" (and I guess it's my fault for having a crappy unhappy life because I don't "smile" enough/s).

[–]usehername 3 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 0 fun4 insightful - 1 fun -  (11 children)

Lmfao so you're continuing to assume I get my information from "feminist articles"? Here are the decades of research on the negative effects porn has on the brain, self-control, and attitudes towards women:

https://www.yourbrainonporn.com/research/

[–]TheOnyxGoddess 1 insightful - 1 fun1 insightful - 0 fun2 insightful - 1 fun -  (10 children)

Lmfao so you're continuing to assume I get my information from "feminist articles"? Here are the decades of research on the negative effects porn has on the brain, self-control, and attitudes towards women:

https://www.yourbrainonporn.com/research/

And I thought you were rational enough to think that I was just adding my input with zero assumptions (looks like I was wrong). I didn't know you are holding our last argument against me. I'm not wrong in my theory that there was probably a feminist researcher grasping bullshit to publish some work. If you want to interpet my comment that way, go ahead, but it wasn't related to the effects of porn.

You still haven't proven your other point. Also here's some advice, don't react to crass, baseless assumptions, you're feeding trolls like that and everyone is free to make assumptions, it's what they do with assumptions that matter.

Edit: Wording

[–]usehername 3 insightful - 2 fun3 insightful - 1 fun4 insightful - 2 fun -  (9 children)

Why are you on a hair trigger? You clearly understand that you were making an assumption:

don't react to crass, baseless assumptions,

and were disagreeing with my take that porn is a big reason why we've gone backwards:

I'm willing to bet that some feminist researcher ran out of ideas and was grasping at bullcrap

So why deny it?

I didn't know you are holding our last argument against me.

I'm not, but I see a pattern emerging.

You still haven't proven your other point.

I just sent it. I was putting it off because I disagree with nearly everything you're saying, you keep (intentionally?) misrepresenting my argument, and don't understand what constitutes "proof".

everyone is free to make assumptions

Not if they're baseless and/or easily proven wrong.

[–]TheOnyxGoddess 1 insightful - 1 fun1 insightful - 0 fun2 insightful - 1 fun -  (8 children)

Why are you on a hair trigger? You clearly understand that you were making an assumption

You're clearly projecting. I wasn't the one who decided to mention the previous argument and assumed the other party was disputing the relevancy of the impact of the porn industry. I was just sharing my thoughts and decided to give you advice because you seem to take what other people say so personally. Lighten up, I'm just someone you'll never meet in real life.

and were disagreeing with my take that porn is a big reason why we've gone backwards:

And how have I disagreed?

So why deny it?

Deny what? It looks more like you're imagining stuff.

I just sent it. I was putting it off because I disagree with nearly everything you're saying, you keep (intentionally?) misrepresenting my argument, and don't understand what constitutes "proof".

I just got it and read it. You still haven't proven the mechanisms. All you're doing is telling me how misogynistic males talk about women.

Not if they're baseless and/or easily proven wrong.

Someone has never told you the difference between making an assumption and acting on an assumption.

[–]usehername 2 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 0 fun3 insightful - 1 fun -  (7 children)

I wasn't the one who decided to mention the previous argument and assumed the other party was disputing the relevancy of the impact of the porn industry.

Like I said, I see a pattern, and it's funny how you're still trying to deny that you were disagreeing.

What I said:

I think the rise of porn is a big reason why.

What you replied with after quoting the above:

I'm willing to bet that some feminist researcher ran out of ideas and was grasping at bullcrap

You're clearly implying that some feminist researcher ran out of ideas and was grasping at bullcrap, the bullcrap being that porn is one of the reasons why women's status has gone backwards in these past few decades.

Normally, I don't give up an argument but this one's clearly in bad faith. Lying and misrepresenting my argument repeatedly is a no from me.

[–]TheOnyxGoddess 1 insightful - 1 fun1 insightful - 0 fun2 insightful - 1 fun -  (6 children)

Like I said, I see a pattern, and it's funny how you're still trying to deny that you were disagreeing.

I never was disagreeing (to clarify, about your comment on porn).

What you replied with after quoting the above:

I'm willing to bet that some feminist researcher ran out of ideas and was grasping at bullcrap. I'm now wondering if you would have that same thought if I responded to you with a different username.

So, you have an issue with me not agreeing nor disagreeing and just posting a theory to add to your theory?

You're clearly implying that some feminist researcher ran out of ideas and was grasping at bullcrap, the bullcrap being that porn is one of the reasons why women's status has gone backwards in these past few decades.

Technically, I proposed a theory and no, it was not related to porn, it was actually just me adding to a list of theories.

Edit: Wording

[–]BEB 1 insightful - 1 fun1 insightful - 0 fun2 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

I think it has a lot to do with it.

In my day ;-) porn was basic fucking and mostly magazines or videos that most men hid. Now, it's available 24/7 and normalizing sex act that are so far past dangerous and degrading to women that it's beyond belief. I can't even imagine what it's done to male brains, but it sure hasn't been good.

[–]TheOnyxGoddess 1 insightful - 1 fun1 insightful - 0 fun2 insightful - 1 fun -  (2 children)

The frat did a physical "joke" - they placed an effigy of a woman in obvious distress, in a place where almost everyone on campus would walk by, and indicated that she had been raped and her rape was funny.

If you told me this happened within the last decade or two I would have been very pissed off. At least the frat apologised for it (I can't say the same thing about all the males who sexually harrassed me and threw rape threats at me back when I was a teen, I will be holding that against them amongst other crimes because they don't deserve forgiveness through amnesia especially when they know what is derogatory behaviour at that age). It reminds me of the early 2000s joke:

"How do you teach a girl math?"

Punchline: take away her clothes and makeup and have sex with her.

There's no logical twist, no pun, nothing, it's pretty much what a male bimbo would come up with and laugh and his straight ball sucking friends would laugh along with him because they're so stupid when they come together as a pack. I'm the type of person who laughs at jokes which are black comedy and controversial (e.g. sexist, racist) in nature and I can tell you, that is a type of joke that does not work because the entire context does not gradiate to the punchline (sex is not related to any sort of intellectual pursuit, there's zero relation between the two). The entire thing was just pure stupid sexism. If I reverse the entire thing onto a male, I still wouldn't be laughing and I really would like some misandristic jokes to read.

[–]BEB 2 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 0 fun3 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

I do think that my generation of women hit a sweet spot, but we also know what our mothers and grandmothers went through, and also went through shit that would be unthinkable now too. I think that's why so many of us will fight like hell to save women's rights once we wake up.

[–]TheOnyxGoddess 2 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 0 fun3 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

I see it as a disgusting joke even if none of the women in my family has gone through the same thing. I see it as downright disturbing and I'd be complaining to the university about it promoting rape culture. I don't care if the effigy is a man being raped, still disturbing.