Dear Mom,
I have something to tell you. You've told me you were always proud to have such a strong black daughter. Well, actually you have a strong white daughter. This is me, coming out. I realized that I'm actually white.
You might be surprised, maybe even shocked, but Mom, you know me. You know how hard it was for me growing up black. I never, ever felt black. This is why. I was really white all along.
You don't know how much I hate my body. Some days when I look in the mirror I cry, because that person isn't me. I hate my black body. I hate the way people treat me and all the shitty stereotypes and expectations they put on me. You know the abuse I've taken because of this body. The violence. I don't want to look in the mirror and be reminded of it all over again. So I've started transitioning into the person I was always meant to be. A white person.
It's scary, but the school nurse and counselors have all been so supportive. They've given me medication to make my skin lighter. I've been taking it for three months now and my skin is already two shades less dark, and I've never felt so beautiful and confident. People treat me better. Boys notice me more. I'm sure you've heard a lot of scary stories about this medication Mom, but you know I'm smart, and I've done my homework. I know all the risks of taking this medication and it's absolutely worth it to me. Even if I can't have kids, (and there's such a low possibility of that, really) I don't think I want kids anyway. And if I do decide to have kids I can adopt. This is more important to me. I've talked to our family doctor, and next summer I've booked an appointment for the surgery. I'm having all my hair permanently removed and I'm getting surgically implanted replacement hair. Then I'm going to get my eyes dyed and my face surgically altered to look more white. I'm telling you this, not asking, because this is my body and I can do whatever I want with it. I'm so lucky I live in a state where these treatments to affirm my identity are covered by your health insurance, and I'm going to take advantage of every single one.
I hope and pray that you and Daddy will understand and support me. I am going to to a strong white woman, and I will make you proud. I love you so much.
Your daughter,
(not Aaliyah anymore)
Stacey
(Mods feel free to remove if this is too wildly offensive.)
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