Got called Mister at the VA today

submitted by grixit from archive.is

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[–]grixit[S] 11 insightful - 8 fun11 insightful - 7 fun12 insightful - 8 fun -  (0 children)

And she didn't die or report a hate crime!

[–]MarkTwainiac 9 insightful - 1 fun9 insightful - 0 fun10 insightful - 1 fun -  (5 children)

I give nurses a free pass because of COVID.

How gracious.

I think they just get a lot of men (usually elderly men too)

Gee, perhaps this is coz a) the VA is exclusively for US military veterans - & the vast majority of military veterans (88%) are men; b) people tend to have more health problems & need for medical care in later life; c) there is a particularly large cohort of elderly male US veterans today coz in the 1960s & the early 70s there was a military draft & the US waged a war in Vietnam. Nearly 10 million soldiers served in the US armed during the Vietnam war era; 2.7 million of them served in Vietnam. Now that they are elderly, they've got all the usual health problems that tend to come with old age - plus this cohort of veterans had a very high rate of extensive injuries & amputations & longterm health damage from exposure to toxic, carcinogenic substances like Agent Orange.

https://www.womenshealth.va.gov/womenshealth/latestinformation/facts.asp

http://www.uswardogs.org/vietnam-statistics/

[–]Sunflowerdevyl 6 insightful - 1 fun6 insightful - 0 fun7 insightful - 1 fun -  (3 children)

Can confirm. Joined local flying club. Less than 5% of pilots are women. Was sired in all correspondence and when I showed up in person they thought I was the wife.

[–]MarkTwainiac 5 insightful - 4 fun5 insightful - 3 fun6 insightful - 4 fun -  (0 children)

Was sired in all correspondence

LOL, I thought the verb "sire" meant to impregnate. Did they send you letters containing sperm?

Sorry, couldn't resist. I assume you mean all the correspondence addressed you as "sir."

It's cool you are a pilot. I thought I'd like to learn to fly... then I spent some time in small planes & said, "no thanks." The turbulence is intense. But brava to you.

[–][deleted] 3 insightful - 4 fun3 insightful - 3 fun4 insightful - 4 fun -  (1 child)

Damn, I'm so sorry for you and your traumatic experience of being misgendered by people who carried no ill will towards you. I hope you got to go on social media to complain about how an awkward moment literally invalidated your entire being and all your friends responded "yassss kween slay."

[–]Sunflowerdevyl 6 insightful - 1 fun6 insightful - 0 fun7 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

These things aren't even awkward if you don't let them be. "No, that's me," works fine.

[–]kassandraatsea 2 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 0 fun3 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

You seem like you have a have a problem with women vets.

[–]kassandraatsea 7 insightful - 1 fun7 insightful - 0 fun8 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

This seems relevant, considering:

An equally sad reality is the dismissive mentality and invisibility women experience at VA centers. On a regular basis, I’m mistaken for a spouse of a male veteran, completely overlooked by healthcare staff, or cut in line by male patients oblivious to my presence.

“I have heard many women complain that when they are waiting to be served in line at the VA, the person taking down information will literally look past the woman in line to the men, as though, in their mind, only men are veterans,” said Blum.

“Imagine being a woman who served in the military and needing to see a doctor for a gynecological condition and having to tell that to a man with several men behind listening. Imagine being a woman who was sexually assaulted in the military, feeling vulnerable as she stands in a line full of men, some of whom could be rapists.” Blum added.

Possibly more insulting and humiliating is the higher burden of proof the Veterans Benefits Administration imposes on service members in order to attach military sexual trauma to a claim for disability benefits. According to the administration’s rules, military sexual trauma is not a diagnosis, but rather an “experience” in which post-traumatic stress is the result of military sexual trauma.

https://archive.is/aB8w2

Also relevant: The Inconvenience of Being a Woman Veteran

[–]theytookourjerbs 6 insightful - 1 fun6 insightful - 0 fun7 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Got called sir a couple times before, but shrugged it off.

[–]TheOnyxGoddess 4 insightful - 1 fun4 insightful - 0 fun5 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

I take it as a complement being addressed with male honorifics (in the context of achievements), because it means people are respecting me more, I still correct them because if they're going to put me on a pedestal on the same level as a male, they should remember I'm a female and hopefully figure out that their level of respect for a person's achievement should not be influenced by their sex. I worry if I own being called "sir", I would be doing other women a disservice for their achievements.