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[–]one1won 4 insightful - 1 fun4 insightful - 0 fun5 insightful - 1 fun -  (4 children)

We think her abuser is "in love" with her.

THAT'S NOT LOVE. I can't emphasize this enough.

Probably fixation, opportunity + entitlement, lust, etc., but NOT love.

A dear friend relayed to me her own experiences with familial molestation. She expressed the "weirdness" of having family get-togethers with her abusers present and nonchalant. It affected her innerself deeply. She felt more distant from family members she did care for, because they insisted ALL the family must be present. Please don't support pressuring the girl to attend such functions for anyone else's sake, if the girl doesn't want to attend. (Mom, cousin Sue, or whom ever, can see the girl another time, if the monster is going to be at the gathering. I don't get families supporting abusers, myself.)

I'm putting out thoughts of healing and support to the girl, yourself, and others who would safeguard the girl from the monster, and help her "own" her boundaries, self worth, and importance in this world.

[–]Greykittymomma[S] 5 insightful - 1 fun5 insightful - 0 fun6 insightful - 1 fun -  (3 children)

Luckily it seems like the monster is facing a lot of time and won't be able to see her ever again.

I totally agree it is not love but fixation that is the terminology he apparently used which makes it so awful.

I worried about how much I could get involved because I am related to the abuser by blood by not her so I want to support her but of course the situation is complicated. She also had trauma before this happened so I already was careful to respect her boundaries.

[–]one1won 3 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 0 fun4 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

I'm so sorry this has happened. It must be very difficult.

Has the girl obtained a permanent No Contact Order, also? Even if the abuser is incarcerated, he may still attempt to contact her, especially if he's claiming "love". Women who're done with a man*, just want the man to "go away", want to have Nothing more to do with him.

Best wishes, as this unfolds.

(*Edit. This is poorly stated. I hope you can infer my true meaning.)

[–]Greykittymomma[S] 4 insightful - 1 fun4 insightful - 0 fun5 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

That is good info about the No Contact Order I will pass that along thank you.