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[–]cinnaflo 3 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 0 fun4 insightful - 1 fun -  (3 children)

Have you thought about showing your brother TIF fujoshis? Or the TIFs who don't make an effort to pass at all and make yaoi their life? For example there is already an understanding among women that there are some things that we just don't do, and my peak was when I saw how often transbians acted like incel straight men. Maybe that will peak your brother...

[–]Kai_Decadence[S] 5 insightful - 1 fun5 insightful - 0 fun6 insightful - 1 fun -  (2 children)

I have but honestly here's the thing he tends to do. Regardless of any article or person I send to him to show how fetishistic Transwomen or transmen (with the yaoi) are, he'll just dismiss it all and say it's just a minority and that they don't represent the majority of "normal" trans people. And in the case of Fujoshi's which I'm sure he's never heard of, he would say that they aren't men because "they don't try to look like men" whereas he'll turn around and say that women like Kalvin Garrah and Buck Angel because are men because "they look like men". He's very looks based I think and so long as the person "passes" he thinks that's enough for them to be seen as the sex they want to be seen as. Though I'll also note that one time I did trip him up saying that if he sees these women as men, would he date or have sex with "men" like them and he said no to which I responded with "why not? they're men aren't they" and then he just got mad at me and said "I'm not talking about this" .

And if it's internet related he'll just resort to the "You spend too much time on the internet" thing. He's just very dismissive when I show him any evidence of how the trans ideology does not work or make sense.

[–]cinnaflo 1 insightful - 1 fun1 insightful - 0 fun2 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

Wow that definitely is extra frustrating, now that I think about it I also have a sibling who's very dismissive like that and I completely get it. It can feel like you're not being heard trying to convince someone you care about something that's important to you. It is kind of weird though for your brother that it's only looks that is the most important for a trans person to pass. Among the TRA crowd, it's got nothing to do with looks at all, but about how one mentally feels inside. Hopefully he'll come around for the best, it definitely takes time and a lot of persistence.

[–]Kai_Decadence[S] 4 insightful - 1 fun4 insightful - 0 fun5 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Right you understand. It's the absolute dismissal when we present these kinds of things that really make it annoying but what's worse is when they say that we're "taking things too seriously" and being on the internet too much when the reality is that social media/internet has seeped into real life. I think he thinks that because it's not something he has to deal with in his day to day life, it's not a real issue (whatever goes on on the internet)

Oh and I remember one more thing he said that really did get to me. When I brought up to him the Tavistock incident where a good number of doctors resigned after the influx of parents bringing their non-conforming children in to get diagnosed as trans, he asked me "why do you even care about all this? It's not your life". I tried to explain that I really am genuinely concerned for children about this but cut me off and said it's not important. And then top it off, when I mentioned how women's spaces and rights are being infringed on by Trans law, he said that it's not my business because I'm not a woman and that he just thinks I'm using this as an excuse to hate on trans-identified people. I was so angry and flustered because it's like he didn't even listen to anything I said. But also the belief that because I'm not a woman, I shouldn't be talking about issues that affect women.

I don't think he will come around, at least not anytime soon.