r/AskWomen is besoming crazy as well

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[–][deleted] 32 insightful - 1 fun32 insightful - 0 fun33 insightful - 1 fun -  (7 children)

Okay.

As a 'minority' woman (black, bisexual) this is a load of shit. So any question directed at a 'majority' group is automatically useless? What if a woman wants to know the general dating climate for an American, straight, white female in a particular state because she just moved there and is in that demographic? The forum is called ask WOMEN not ask minorities.

'Posts for this sub should use inclusive phrasing'. TRANSlation: posts need to always include men and men's feelings because god forbid they arent included in women's discussions.

The good thing is as much as I loathe this level of censorship, this is going to peak a lot of people very, very fast.

[–]MarkTwainiac 24 insightful - 2 fun24 insightful - 1 fun25 insightful - 2 fun -  (6 children)

Also, this rule prevents people from all "minority" groups from directing questions to any "majority" groups. I can imagine many situations when it would be useful for a "minority" group member to make inquiries solely of people who come from a particular "majority" group. For example, a person who is one of a small number of racial, religious or immigrant minorities at work, school or in a community or country might have lots of questions about terminology used & behaviors displayed by the majority group, as well as about their customs.

For many years, I as a white American worked in refugee resettlement and taught English to newly-arrived immigrants to the US who were of virtually every nationality under the sun. Much of my job was explaining - and answering questions about - the mystifying ways of the "majority" US population(s) to my clients & students, which was for their benefit. I wasn't oppressing them or enforcing "my ways" or the ways of the majority on them, I was helping them navigate and best survive in an environment that was brand-new and often extremely confusing to them - and which was full of people quick to look down on them, treat them unfairly and/or take advantage of them.

In particular, many of the girls and women who came from certain non-Western countries really needed to get clued in on US sexual mores and norms so they'd be able to spot male sexual predators, pick-up artists and lying Lotharios and be on the defensive against them. It would have been extremely unfair - and harmful - to tell these girls and women they couldn't turn to members of the "majority" for advice on decoding and dealing with the behaviors and harassment of the men they encountered when out and about in public in their newly adopted country.

Also, whomever made up this rule seems unaware that although women make up the majority of the population numerically, historically women - even white women in white countries - were treated as lesser and for all intents and purposes - even in legal definitions - were considered a "minority" group. Even today, there are plenty of situations in which female people regardless of other factors like race and age constitute a numerical minority, such as in STEM, most tech/Silicon Valley/IT workplaces, the executive suites in the corporate world, and the corridors of power in the US Congress, White House, state legislatures and governors' mansions, and municipal posts like city councils and mayoralties.

Finally, I note that this rule-maker has decided that "20-30 year olds" make up the "majority" age group in the US, but this isn't really true. People of that age (especially males) make up the single largest age band out of all age bands at present, but an age group that counts as 22% of the populace is certainly far from being "the majority" in the US. Also, many other age bands come pretty close to that one in size.

Moreover, the age distribution of the US population varies depending on sex. For example, the proportion of females who are age 55-64 is nearly as large as the proportion of females who are 20-29.

One of the reasons males age 20-29 make up such a vastly large proportion of the male population is coz males overall don't tend to live into old age at nearly the same rate as females do.

https://www.statista.com/statistics/241488/population-of-the-us-by-sex-and-age/

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Demographics_of_the_United_States#/media/File:US_population_pyramid_(2020).jpg

The age distribution of the US population also varies enormously depending on race and ethnicity.

https://www.pewresearch.org/fact-tank/2019/07/30/most-common-age-among-us-racial-ethnic-groups/

[–]fuckupaddams 11 insightful - 2 fun11 insightful - 1 fun12 insightful - 2 fun -  (4 children)

although women make up the majority of the population numerically, historically women - even white women in white countries - were treated as lesser and for all intents and purposes - even in legal definitions - were considered a "minority" group.

Drives me crazy drives me crazy drives me crazy. "Liberals" always conveniently forget this. White women are just as privileged and powerful as white men and always have been, don't you know? It's not like anyone's mother can remember being denied opening a bank account without her husband's/ father's/ younger brother's permission. Doesn't matter that husbands and fathers (and uncles... brothers...) often enjoy abusing the women in their homes who share the same skin color. Nope. Karen's the enemy.

[–]MarkTwainiac 15 insightful - 1 fun15 insightful - 0 fun16 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

Drives me crazy too. In the US, it was legal for banks to refuse to issue credit cards to women without a male co-signer until 1974; women could legally be fired from jobs for getting pregnant until 1978; courts only granted women the right to sue for sexual harassment in the workplace in 1977, but it took until 1980 for the EEOC to define and recognize workplace sexual harassment; and rape of women by their husbands didn't become illegal in every state in the union until 1993. I personally remember when these changes occurred coz they all happened within my own adult lifetime.

When I was growing up in the US in the 1960s, girls in most US public schools not only didn't have any school sports - many didn't even get PE - and many elite universities such as most of the Ivy League didn't admit females as undergrads. Outside of school, girls & women were barred from many activities, including distance running. And since abortion was illegal, girls & unmarried women who got pregnant - as many did - faced terrible prospects and were shamed and ostracized to extents unimaginable by those who today whine about "misgendering," preferred pronouns, micro-aggressions and claim nobody's ever been as "marginalized" and "discriminated" against as trans people.

The first US public schools to permit girls to wear trousers to school only began doing so in 1970, when I was in 10th grade; and women only got the right to wear trousers to office jobs later on in the 70s. In the mid-1970s when finished college (in the first class of women at a previously all-male Ivy), there were still numerical caps limiting the numbers of women admitted to US graduate programs in fields such as law, medicine, business, architecture and engineering.

The world has changed enormously to the benefit of girls and women since I was a kid and young woman - mostly coz women, and some men - fought hard for it to change. But now so many young people, including many women, seem to think the freedoms and rights they grew up enjoying always existed, and they seem more than willing to play a part in eroding the women's rights and freedoms previous generations paid dearly for. It breaks my heart and pisses me off no end!

[–]forwardback 8 insightful - 1 fun8 insightful - 0 fun9 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

I also remember changes made in my lifetime, in the US. Young women should NOT take for granted!

I remember playing 6on6 women's basketball;

1970 five player full court game adopted for women's basketball

1972 The Supreme Court upholds the right to use birth control by unmarried couples. (SC ruled married couples had this right in 1965, 1960 was first FDA approval of BC pill)

1973 * college scholarships offered to female athletes for the first time

Jan. 22, 1973: In its landmark 7-2 Roe v. Wade decision, the U.S. Supreme Court declares that the Constitution protects a woman’s legal right to an abortion.

Also in 1973: The Supreme Court, in a separate ruling, bans sex-segregated "help wanted" advertising. (Yes, this was a thing! Help Wanted, Man and Help Wanted, Woman separate columns!)

1974 – Housing discrimination on the basis of sex and credit discrimination against women are outlawed by Congress. (I purchased my own house and property as a single woman thanks to this historic legislation!)

1975 – The Supreme Court denies states the right to exclude women from juries.

1981 – Sandra Day O'Connor becomes first woman to serve on the Supreme Court.

[–]QueenBread 5 insightful - 3 fun5 insightful - 2 fun6 insightful - 3 fun -  (1 child)

Well, if you make the bad decision to virtually hang out in Reddit, you'll find the general opinion in that website is that "women have never been oppressed". Before I gave up, some dipshit actually came up lecturing me on "gynocracy". Yes, he claimed women are actually in control of the world.

[–]fuckupaddams 6 insightful - 2 fun6 insightful - 1 fun7 insightful - 2 fun -  (0 children)

I'd be more willing to humor a conversation like that if human sex trafficking wasn't a thing. The very existence of that entire enormous and fucked up industry instantly makes that argument laughable, before you even get to any of the other obvious reasons why that's not true

[–]Nosce_te_ipsum 10 insightful - 1 fun10 insightful - 0 fun11 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Just like with the "Americans" category, they might be referring to the fact that the majority of reddit users are in-between 20 and 30 years old. That being said, it's still ridiculous. What happens when one person is part of a majority in one category, but part of a minority in another? For example, someone is part of a racial minority (in America), but they are heterosexual, "cisgender", neurotypical and between the ages of 20 and 30. Are they still considered a minority, or does being part of multiple "majority" groups cancel their minority status? Is there an hierarchy to these categories? Maybe I don't properly understand the context in which this rule was instituted, but from where I stand, it looks incredibly dumb (beyond being unhelpful to anyone).

Also, whomever made up this rule seems unaware that although women make up the majority of the population numerically, historically women - even white women in white countries - were treated as lesser and for all intents and purposes - even in legal definitions - were considered a "minority" group.

That was the part I wanted to address the most too. These people, including the so called feminists, seem to be incapable of understanding that the way discrimination against women worked (and still works to this day) has nothing to do with our numbers. They look at all the other categories of people that got discriminated against in history, see that one of the main factors for the majority of them was that they were at a numerical disadvantage, and conclude that women couldn't have been oppressed. Or, maybe, they think there were fewer of us in the past? Do they think we only got our right to vote about 100 years ago (or a few decades ago in some places), because women made only 20% of the human population back then, or what?

No matter how you look at it, these people aren't very bright.

*Edited to add that I admire the work you've done in that refugee resettlement, especially the help you provided to girls and women.

[–]MezozoicGay 26 insightful - 9 fun26 insightful - 8 fun27 insightful - 9 fun -  (0 children)

You can't ask "majority"? So in "Ask Women" you can not ask women? Who you can ask then? Transwomen?

[–]grixit 23 insightful - 9 fun23 insightful - 8 fun24 insightful - 9 fun -  (0 children)

Do not ask women on r/askwomen.

[–]jet199 20 insightful - 3 fun20 insightful - 2 fun21 insightful - 3 fun -  (2 children)

A wonderful way of oppressing and silencing as many people as possible.

Why is it that in America the majority is seen as the oppressor by default when in almost every other country its a small minority of rich and powerful people who are seen as the main oppressors and everyone else, the masses, are the oppressored? Vanity?

[–]Silverhatband 8 insightful - 1 fun8 insightful - 0 fun9 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Shhh, mustn't tell. /s

[–]bluetinfoilhat 1 insightful - 1 fun1 insightful - 0 fun2 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Because in the US white people have always been the majority and racially speaking are the "oppressor." Same with straight people.

[–]SharpTomorrow 16 insightful - 1 fun16 insightful - 0 fun17 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

you mean r_askTIMs because it might as well be called that way.

[–]censorshipment 10 insightful - 1 fun10 insightful - 0 fun11 insightful - 1 fun -  (2 children)

As a 37 year old - black - American - mentally disordered - lesbian... 🤣🤣🤣 they are taking shit too far by pandering to someone like me. Ridiculous as fuck. Although I do enjoy seeing "majorities" being forced to be inclusive, but that's just the antagonist in me. I've always cringed at women's groups being white-centric and straight-centric. My 60 year old bisexual black mom hated that shit too during the 70s.

That moderator TheYellowRose calls herself an "advocate for the underrepresented of Reddit".

https://i.imgur.com/nIWm2fA.jpg

Anyway, I saw a post specifically for black women of AskWomen like a week ago... I bet it's still up.

Black women - what is your experience been like on dating apps? - https://www.reddit.com/r/AskWomen/comments/ki47vl/black_women_what_is_your_experience_been_like_on/

Black Women of Reddit: What stereotype about us makes you the most upset? - https://www.reddit.com/r/AskWomen/comments/k7v9v3/black_women_of_reddit_what_stereotype_about_us/

[–]MarkTwainiac 9 insightful - 1 fun9 insightful - 0 fun10 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

I think it's good to try to find ways to get people from "majority" groups to be more "inclusive" and aware that they do not represent the whole of human experience or even the norm, but this doesn't seem to be the way.

Re the threads you linked to, they make me wonder if they were started by black women - and how can one tell?

The rules stated in the OP of this thread appear to prohibit everyone - "majorities" and "minorities" alike - from asking questions of "majorities," but they don't appear to prohibit "majorities" from asking questions of "minorities." In fact, I just looked up the rules on r/AskWomen and see that they clearly state

Questions focusing on Minority Demographics are permitted.

So doesn't that mean people from "majority" groups can direct questions to entire "minority" groups, but "minority" individuals can't do the same to "majority" groups? That sounds fucked up. Or am I missing something?

[–]WildApples 8 insightful - 1 fun8 insightful - 0 fun9 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

So doesn't that mean people from "majority" groups can direct questions to entire "minority" groups, but "minority" individuals can't do the same to "majority" groups? That sounds fucked up. Or am I missing something?

It always amazes me that so many efforts at "inclusivity" end up reinforcing historical patterns of oppression.

[–]fuckupaddams 9 insightful - 1 fun9 insightful - 0 fun10 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Identity politics totem pole, yeehaw. Either it should be allowed to get specific with who you're asking, or it shouldn't. This seems extremely patronizing.

[–]CosmicFarmPrisoner 8 insightful - 1 fun8 insightful - 0 fun9 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Stop using Reddit!

[–]bluetinfoilhat 5 insightful - 1 fun5 insightful - 0 fun6 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Why shouldn't women be able to ask a question directed to say straight women if the topic is about straight relationships??

[–]OptimisticOcelot 2 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 0 fun3 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Honest question, does this mean that a non-white user couldn't direct a question to white users? From joking "white people, why are you like this?" to genuine questions about differing life experiences, are those questions just banned? Fake woke bullshit, meanwhile vitriol against women is still rampant.