Everyone, I really need your advice. It seems like I'm going to have to give my little sister some kind of sex/sexuality/gender identity all-in-one talk and I'm dreading it. She's almost 12 and already sucked into internet bs (and I suppose this is the age for that conversation regardless)

submitted by fuckupaddams from self.GenderCritical

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[–]zephyranthes 6 insightful - 1 fun6 insightful - 0 fun7 insightful - 1 fun -  (5 children)

She's 11. You need to talk to mom and have mom take your sister off the interwebs. Show mom stink ditches, horror sausages, Jonny Yaniv, Pansy Gronski, pedophile Phil Wythe in the women's, that other pedophile simulating a pregnancy and trying to rent a baby to suck its nipples, the whole deal. Say: these are the people grooming your daughter. Show her the hawtt yaoi boi human potato Colt Seidman. Say: this is what she will look like as an adult if you don't take her off the internets RIGHT THIS INSTANT.

Your sister shouldn't get a say. She's 11. She's too young for the good arguments.

[–]BEB 8 insightful - 1 fun8 insightful - 0 fun9 insightful - 1 fun -  (4 children)

EXACTLY. She is 11. She is not the boss of the adults in her life, her parents are the boss of her.

Educate your parents as to what she's up to and what the possible consequences are and get them to get her off the internet PERIOD.

Your parents own the computers. She is very much dependent on them. Take the computer and the phone away, or be there when she uses them.

[–]MarkTwainiac 2 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 0 fun3 insightful - 1 fun -  (3 children)

EXACTLY. She is 11. She is not the boss of the adults in her life, her parents are the boss of her.

Educate your parents as to what she's up to and what the possible consequences are and get them to get her off the internet PERIOD.

But to me this sounds like you are telling the older sibling, addams - who from her post is a mere 21/22 herself - to be the boss of her parents, no? Sounds like you are saying it's her job to educate her own parents and somehow "get them to get (little sister) off the internet."

I think putting this burden on a young woman of 21/22 is not in her best interest, and it could well backfire - resulting in a situation where the younger sis is not helped, and the older one ends up more distressed. But that's just my opinion. We can agree to disagree.

But to be fair to addams, please be more specific about exactly how you think she at 21/22 should go about educating her parents and getting them to change their ways.

[–]BEB 5 insightful - 1 fun5 insightful - 0 fun6 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

The poster is putting the responsibility of all this on herself and her choice is to "educate" the parents or "educate" the child.

But the only people with any control of this 11-year-old (!!!) are her parents. The poster can talk to the child until she's blue in the face but unless the parents step in and yank that child back into reality, the 11-year-old is going to sink further into her internet obsessions.

So, given that the child's mother is not clued in, the best way for the poster to help is to clue in the mother about the danger the child faces and let the mother handle it, while also supporting both the parents and the child.

I did mention that the poster could show her mother the r/detrans sub and 4thWaveNow.com. There is also Abigail Shrier's book IRREVERSIBLE DAMAGE. There's also the Detransition Advocacy Network:

https://www.detransadv.com/

But given the choice of a 21-year-old sibling with no real power and who doesn't live in the home, trying to get this kid off the internet, and parents who control computer/phone access, where the child goes, who the child interacts with, etc., it's clear to me that the parents are the ones who need to step in.

[–]zephyranthes 3 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 0 fun4 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

But to me this sounds like you are telling the older sibling, addams - who from her post is a mere 21/22 herself - to be the boss of her parents, no? Sounds like you are saying it's her job to educate her own parents and somehow "get them to get (little sister) off the internet."

Not be the boss of her parents, educate them. Presidents have advisors, you know. Her parents are uninformed that people on the internet are grooming their child.

The child cannot consent to grooming. Trying to negotiate with the child to make her change her mind is nonsensical, because the child could not have consented. In some places, it's even illegal to provide her with the information for her to make an, uh, informed choice. The older sister should not be telling an 11-year-old about Yaniv trying to insert tampons into teen girls or Phil "Ana Valens" Wythe's rape camps. The people who are responsible for access to the child are the parents. They, with their parental authority, should decisively shut down grooming attempts and continue to safeguard the child.

The older sister should not be the one talking to the girl. She does not have parental authority, she can only "persuade", and we've already established the girl cannot be meaningfully "persuaded" because she can't give consent. Furthermore, I think it's bad parenting to argue with the child if you're going to put your foot down anyway, by proxy or otherwise. It robs the child of of autonomy in those aspects of her life she can be trusted with, like clothes, or food, or scheduling, or choice of advanced courses for college.

[–]MarkTwainiac 3 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 0 fun4 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Presidents have advisors, you know. Her parents are uninformed that people on the internet are grooming their child.

Presidents have other adults as advisors. Even presidents who've had family members and in-laws as advisors have not customarily asked such young persons to take up this role. From Chester Arthur to Bobby Kennedy to Dick Cheney to Jared Kushner, there's not a tradition of Presidents relying on 21/22 year-old family members or friends as advisors. Or are you suggesting that Richard Nixon considered his SIL David Eisenhower to be one of his advisors?

Her parents are uninformed that people on the internet are grooming their child.

But the cluelessness of the parents is their fault; it's not the responsibility of the older sibling to correct it.

The older sister should not be the one talking to the girl. She does not have parental authority, she can only "persuade", and we've already established the girl cannot be meaningfully "persuaded" because she can't give consent. Furthermore, I think it's bad parenting to argue with the child if you're going to put your foot down anyway, by proxy or otherwise. It robs the child of of autonomy in those aspects of her life she can be trusted with, like clothes, or food, or scheduling, or choice of advanced courses for college.

I didn't say the older sister should try to "persuade" the younger one. I said the older sister should befriend the younger sister, get her out of the house, show her a different way...

I don't understand the rest of your post.