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[–][deleted]  (3 children)

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    [–]MarkTwainiac 5 insightful - 1 fun5 insightful - 0 fun6 insightful - 1 fun -  (2 children)

    Long story short, the best thing to do is some zen deep breathing and just... Ignore her. Treat her civilly like everyone else, be friendly and include her, but when she says weird shit, just blank her. Act like it didn't happen. She does it for a reaction, and when the reaction doesn't come, she'll (so, so slowly) learn her behavior is pointless and makes her look like a fool.

    Why do all this? Why not just disqualify her from potential membership in the sorority in the first place? If she's already in like Flynn just coz she expressed an interest in joining, what's the point in having a selection process and pledge period meant to give the group time to get to know and take the measure of the recruits?

    I wasn't in a sorority, but I was in a "senior society" in college. AFAIK sororities, like other private clubs, don't have to let anyone and everyone in - they are supposed to be exclusive clubs that only take in women who meet certain criteria. And the minimum criteria used to be that one had to be sociable and both acquainted with and capable of following the rudimentary rules of decorum - which would eliminate anyone as anti-social, unsocialized, inappropriate and IMO mentally unwell as this woman.

    Or are sororities now just pathology-enabling societies?

    Besides, she probably only mutters "kill TERFs" because her only friends are on the internet, and that's what she has to say to keep in that crowd. Once she starts making real life friends and developing positive interests (Idk what sororities do, but probably not sit around tweeting about depression yes?)...

    Sorry, it sounds like you see joining a sorority as akin to going to a mental health facility. From what I know of sororities, somebody who is in college and yet has never made RL friends or developed any positive interests would not be considered a catch for most. She wouldn't even meet the most basic criteria.

    Besides, she probably only mutters "kill TERFs" because her only friends are on the internet, and that's what she has to say to keep in that crowd.

    You're making it sound like she is a feral person raised by wolves on the internet and therefore she can't help herself, and so anything goes from her, and her vocal advocating for the beating and murder of women must be tolerated and tip-toed around.

    But clearly, if she's a college student at a regular college or uni, she must have grown up in some kind of household, perhaps a family, run by elders, and she must have gone to school for many years and done well enough to graduate - so by now she should know the basics of how to behave in civilized society, be aware that assault and murder are morally unacceptable as well as criminal, and be capable of handling "nuanced conversations."

    If this woman has special needs, so be it - but then she needs special help from people trained to provide it. It's not up to OP or other members of her sorority to do this; they are not mental health care providers, special ed teachers, or professional carers.

    [–]assignedcopatbirth 4 insightful - 1 fun4 insightful - 0 fun5 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

    Please breathe lol, it's just my two cents.

    Look I know it's very upsetting that violent misogynistic language like "kill TERFs" has been normalized, but the truth is it has, at least in those circles. If it wasn't normal, OP wouldn't be asking this question.

    You seem to be angry with OP and everyone else who isn't treating this person as a violent criminal planning murders out loud. But Occam's razor says this isn't a TRA serial killer, just an awkward idiot. And treating awkward idiots like criminals creates nothing but conflict and drama.

    If OP wants a solution besides just kicking her out, why is that so wrong?

    If your version of being Gender Critical means nobody with shitty opinions, poor social skills or parroting habits should ever be engaged with... What's the point? We just sit on Saidit agreeing about everything while women in the real world keep losing rights?

    That doesn't make sense to me.

    [–]missdaisycan 2 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 0 fun3 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

    Well, if we're tossing in pennies, here's my take, fwiw.

    Look I know it's very upsetting that violent misogynistic language like "kill TERFs" has been normalized, but the truth is it has, at least in those circles. If it wasn't normal, OP wouldn't be asking this question.

    And there in lies the problem! If simply accepted as fact/"normalized", and acquiesced, the battle is already lost. Is that not evident? Sun Tzu, where are you?

    Invincibility lies in the defence; the possibility of victory in the attack. Thus, what is of supreme importance in war is to attack the enemy's strategy.

    If your opponent is of choleric temper, irritate him.

    He who is prudent and lies in wait for an enemy who is not, will be victorious.

    Secret operations are essential in war; upon them the army relies to make its every move. Sun Tzu

    (next item)

    And treating awkward idiots like criminals creates nothing but conflict and drama.

    No, no, no. It's called peer pressure. Shutting down unacceptable behaviors. Worked for centuries. It's less cruel than the shit that's happening now! You dig innocents being sacrificed? 10-40 women squirming because of the exclamations of one? 'Cause someone believes? Go to the source - TRAs & handmaidens. Shut them down!

    If OP wants a solution besides just kicking her out, why is that so wrong? If your version of being Gender Critical means nobody with shitty opinions, poor social skills or parroting habits should ever be engaged with...

    Eon-type rare to oust an initiate. (Extremely unlikely to drop a pledge, especially in an, um, ultra-woke sorority like OPs).
    But, to the point, CAN they be engaged? You can't change someone's mind unless they're open to it. That (being open to alternate ideas) can take PAIN to happen, i.e. the consequences of your beliefs affecting you.. Life; no matter how much you may want to make it easy, the fact is: making life easy is a false presumption! It'll bite you in the a$$. Best to learn at ~19 than 38 yo! Or is the long, slow, hard lesson the more compassionate route? Ever wonder? Used to be the college experience was to be also a life experience. Guess that's gone the way of independent, analytical reasoning, "outdated"...

    Edit: format to separate Sun Tzu from commentator