That's exactly what idiots say about racism. IE "discussions about racism doesn't include enough opinions of white people and plus, it's divisive to talk about who has power over whom and who doesn't".

The sad thing is, for many of the people who say that, they actually do believe it. They genuinely don't understand the concept of power imbalance between classes of people, or see how just being white in a society which prioritizes whiteness is a privilege. They only see problems in individuals, and of course, "he has it worse than a lot of well-off black people".

I used to get so frustrated and think, gawd these people are stupid. Now I just accept it: yes, if you were to test their IQ you'd find that they really are a bit below average. You can't use big words with these people, or fancy sociological terms. They also hate the word "racism" and "racist", those words are like pouring gasoline on a fire. With the man in the OP's example, I'd start further back, by repeatedly asking in different ways, how often does he actually listen to the people he is assuming that HE HAS THE RIGHT TO SPEAK FOR. He doesn't even realize he's doing that, so you have to start there. And of course, if you could ever get him past that part, you'd find that the only black voices he listens to, are "too angry, too blunt, too accusatory, too triggering". It never ends with these people. There's always a reason which explains why he shouldn't listen to the people HE ASSUMES HE HAS THE RIGHT TO SPEAK FOR.

It is the exact same dynamic with sexism. I personally don't have the patience to deal with them. Good luck to anybody who does!