My rapist has come out as trans (possible tw...)

submitted by Lilithe from self.GenderCritical

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[–]Vari4 26 insightful - 1 fun26 insightful - 0 fun27 insightful - 1 fun -  (3 children)

It's surreal as fuck. I don't even know why I'm posting this here, I tried to find this sub on reddit but it isn't there.

Reddit banned Gender Critical and all of our sister sub's about a month ago. The social media giants and legal authorities are making it increasingly clear that they will no longer tollerate woman's skepticism of men's fantasies of gender.

I don't know where else to post it without people saying I'm a TERF for daring to suggest someone might be pretending to be trans with the intentions to sexually assault women. What am I even supposed to do in this situation?

I would suggest telling those you care about - including your old aquaintance something along the lines of

This man raped me so many times I lost count and beat me so bad that I ended up in the hospital with a broken rib, a kidney contusion and fractured skull. I'm saying this to you because I want you to understand that just because he chooses to wear a skirt and identifies as a womandoesn't change the fact that he is a man who is disposed to beat women. I really don't think it is wise for you or anyone else to let this man to gaslight you to gain access to your sympathies.

I know it's difficult to speak out about this stuff in the current political climate. But the more way stay silent the harder it will be for women like you to speak out about it. We need to reach out to each other and back each other so that our skepticism can become normalised.

[–]luckystar 12 insightful - 1 fun12 insightful - 0 fun13 insightful - 1 fun -  (2 children)

Oh man, I admire your courage. That paragraph would probably be a friendship-ender for many people I know. I'd have to couch it in terms of "even if she is a woman now, she's still a violent, predatory person that raped me as a teenager". What you write is correct, but not something I could just lead with, not in my part of the country at least.

[–]Vari4 7 insightful - 1 fun7 insightful - 0 fun8 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

Question: Is someone really your friend if you feel like you have to walk on eggshells around them and hide who you are from them. IMHO at best someone like this isn't friends with you - they're friends with who they think you are.

Also for anyone in this situation remember that the women who are raped by men have the high moral ground here. Don't let them take it without a fight.

[–]luckystar 1 insightful - 1 fun1 insightful - 0 fun2 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

So my close friends I've talked about this stuff with, one was a permanent friendship ender but the rest all agreed with me. But I'm talking more like... casual friend from college level of friendship. It's a minefield and if I can avoid the topic I do. Gotta choose your battles