Why do so many women deny the existence of misogyny?

submitted by RedditHatesLesbians from self.GenderCritical

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[–]NDG 8 insightful - 3 fun8 insightful - 2 fun9 insightful - 3 fun -  (2 children)

Most of the “I’m not a feminist” women I know are well-aware that misogyny exists. (Ask any American conservative woman 35+ what she thought about the media’s treatment of Sarah Palin back in 2008.) But they’re also well-aware that, unlike Mr. Rogers, mainstream feminism does not “like them just the way they are.”

They’re against abortion, or at least against some element of the pro- choice movement’s ideal set of abortion laws - they think it should be illegal after twelve weeks, or a minor’s guardians should always be notified. They have strong ties to religions that feminists told them were patriarchal or oppressive. They have stories about feminists shaming them for being stay-at-home moms. They suspect feminists think they’re dumb and brainwashed. They think feminists focus too much on “manspreading” and not enough on serious issues like honor killings or FGM. They see feminism as a clique for upper-middle-class liberals and they don’t want to join.

[–]Veneficca 4 insightful - 1 fun4 insightful - 0 fun5 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

I know a lot of conservative women like this. It's frustrating because so many of them seem to want the benefits of feminism AND the benefits of benevolent sexism and are never willing to challenge men or examine their own patriarchal complicity. They're happy to point out misogyny when another nation, religion or political party can be blamed, but when it's coming from inside the house? They almost always stay quiet. They want safety, respect and equal pay without the conflict of naming their own men as part of the problem.

That said, I also know women who feel judged about not being "pure" enough for feminism. To them, feminism isn't a place of support and positive change, it's a tribunal that will castigate them for wearing makeup, liking the wrong musicians and films, wanting to be a SAHM, etc. Or they read about sex-positive feminism and recoil because they don't see prostitution, porn or casual sex as good for women. I think a lot of women aren't even sure what a feminist platform is these days.

[–]NDG 3 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 0 fun4 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Honestly, my experience with feminism has never been about “support and positive change” for all women. It’s been mostly of the Ti-Grace Atkinson “sisterhood kills, mostly sisters” variety.