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[–]Immortallogic 13 insightful - 1 fun13 insightful - 0 fun14 insightful - 1 fun -  (3 children)

I think it's intimately tied with the nucleur family, basic patriarchy, and biology, and it runs super deep, from the beginning of socialization. Most women are male identified and, if they decide to get married or settle down with a man and have kids, they HAVE to accept certain roles and things.

Another part I've come to realize is simply biology. Women are the childbearers and empathetic ones who protect the vulnerable and care. Childbirth and pregnancy often wreck havoc in women's bodies, but that is simply how we've evolved. Men are the aggressors and ones who are more prone to violence. The first step is realizing and accepting that. There are degrees to that and exceptions of course, for both sexes, but that is the reality. That's why women are categorically underappreciated and mothers, especially. That's why rape and sexual assaults often get very light penalties (men are in charge usually). For me, the first part of breaking free of the constraints of being a female was the firm decision not to procreate, because honestly, that's a HUGE portion of it.

Then, learning to unlearn all the things (or most) from socialization and the first terror of realizing what a blatantly sexist world we live in, from movies and shows that show women as shells of people and sex objects, to the very real experience of many women who are truly trapped in terrible relationships with men because they have had kids, or were not brought up to rely on themselves and therefore don't have the sense of independence or backbone to make it alone. The number of horror stories of women who are putting up with alarming things on Reddit are insane, and yet they don't want to leave. Not to say all marriages are like this, but I strongly believe most marriages are unequal to the women (whether or not she's chosen that... And many do). That doesn't mean there can't be love it other things, but it's just the way it is.

I also think that biologically, and exacerbated by socialization, by and large, women are the sex that want to be led. If they didn't, people like us wouldn't be as fringe. Misogyny and sexism and even paternalism is deeply tied to all of this.

And yes, libfem. Obviously. This bullshit about sexualization of self and bdsm and all the rest being EmPoWeRiNg. But we all know that.

[–]BEB 17 insightful - 1 fun17 insightful - 0 fun18 insightful - 1 fun -  (2 children)

I agree with you, in that I think that women, on average, are different, and while a large part of it is socialization, which starts to happen from birth, some of it is innate. Our bodies are built to nurture and the instinct to protect the young seems to be built into our genes. This is I don't really call myself a rad fem or a GC fem - I'm just a plain old feminist. But I believe most of what rad/GC believe, and very much support and will fight for our common goals.

I have some extremely smart, extremely successful female friends, all of whom were fervent supporters of the Equal Rights Amendment, and all of whom had to fight societal misogyny to get to where they are, but when I bring up this issue of how gender ideology is destroying everything women fought for, while outraged, my friends don't really act.

In the meantime, they are outraged about police shootings of black men (as am I) and would have marched with BLM had it not been for COVID - but they're not marching for women. They won't even pick up the phone and call their Congressional representatives, even though I've made it clear what danger women's rights/safety/sports are in.

Even feminists and survivors that they are, they prioritize the civil rights of another group over the human and civil rights of women, even as they know women's rights are under possibly the most dangerous attack ever.

This is why I kind of feel women will never get the rights and respect we deserve: too many women just won't fight. They will fight for others, but for some reason a huge % of women will not fight for ourselves. And again, a huge part of that is socialization, but I think the rest is that most of us don't have the testosterone-fueled rage men have (unless it comes to our kids.)

Just my opinion after traveling a lot (for an American) and being on Earth for many decades...

[–]chrysthefeminist 13 insightful - 7 fun13 insightful - 6 fun14 insightful - 7 fun -  (1 child)

Our bodies are built to nurture and the instinct to protect the young seems to be built into our genes.

I'm female and after a lifetime of exposure to males and their attitudes I'd rather flush male young down a toilet than "protect" them.

[–]BEB 7 insightful - 1 fun7 insightful - 0 fun8 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

I'm by no means saying that ALL females feel that way, it's just that in my experience on average women do tend to be very protective of their young, more so than men, and I think that only part (a very large part) of that is socialization.

We all have very different experiences of life, so I can only speak from mine. I've traveled a lot (again, for an American) and seen the same thing in the parts of the world I've been. I can't think of any place I didn't see it, but I haven't been close to everywhere - I've missed entire continents.

And not to say that I didn't meet a lot of feisty and fierce women, I did. And not to say I don't think women aren't capable of leading a revolution, they have and will. It's just seems harder to motivate women to stand up for themselves than to stand up for others. And again, that's my experience, others will have different ones.