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[–]Cass[S] 14 insightful - 2 fun14 insightful - 1 fun15 insightful - 2 fun -  (1 child)

In case it gets deleted:

So my girlfriend happens to be trans. We just got back from a camping trip several hours away from the city we live in and on the way back visited some of my relatives in a small town who a know to be a little backwards/ignorant in their thinking.

So it goes like this: we arrive at my aunt and uncles place where everyone is congregated outside on the deck. My aunt, her sister and my cousin give me a hug, “how nice it is to see you dear”, etc. They’d not met my girlfriend before and I didn’t mention she was coming with me (probably mistake number one to be honest). So after our greetings, aunt #2 says “and who is your friend here?” to which I reply “this is my girlfriend, <name>”.

So this is where it gets ackward: my girlfriend is just starting on hormones and besides her long hair has a ways to go before she’s what you’d call “passing”. I could feel the initial superficial warmth of my aunts disappearing, replaced by ignorance and a lack of understanding as to why I said this was my girlfriend. I could feel my face getting flushed and blurt out “she’s trans, okay?” to which my GF says “hello, too much info do you think?” There was some very ackward laughter in response to that followed by a long ackward pause and then things just felt weird the rest of the time we were there.

Once we left, back in the car, my GF was furious. She says I put her on the spot and had no right to call out her gender identity like that. In my defense, I hadn’t mentally prepared for the situation and don’t know how I could have handled it that wouldn’t have led to ackwardness: if I hadn’t explained my GF was trans I just know my gossipy aunts would have been sitting there staining at her the whole time, probably mocking us in their heads, transphobic bullshit like “why is he calling that man in a skirt his GF”.

So, main thing I’m wondering: how to go about introducing my GF to potentially transphobic people in my life? I’d like to not just cut them right out — certainly not without giving them the chance to be accepting — but at the same time I feel as if so many people require an explanation from me. Like should I tell them in advance “heads up, just so you know, my GF is trans“. Talking about her behind her back line that just feels even worse than what I did. As if I need to justify to people why I’m with her. :(

All comments berated him for outing his boyfriend. We are living in a mad world.

[–]firebird 3 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 0 fun4 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

In case it gets deleted

It's archived now: https://archive.vn/lbC90