Reddit user who wrote /r/actuallesbians policy on dating transwomen is a man who tries to breastfeed his child

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[–]Terfenclaw 62 insightful - 4 fun62 insightful - 3 fun63 insightful - 4 fun -  (15 children)

The are often indistinguishable from cis women

Whew. The delusion is real.

[–]GConly 23 insightful - 3 fun23 insightful - 2 fun24 insightful - 3 fun -  (14 children)

I know. I've never ever seen a transbian pass IRL. They just look like men in drag.

[–]Bitchcraft 16 insightful - 1 fun16 insightful - 0 fun17 insightful - 1 fun -  (10 children)

Frankly, you wouldn't know if they pass. The biggest giveaway is usually height, a small subset of men are naturally in the female range in that particular parameter.

See https://rationalwiki.org/wiki/Toupee_fallacy

e. (sorry I don't have a better reference for this. rationalwiki used to be cool)

[–]Sebell 24 insightful - 3 fun24 insightful - 2 fun25 insightful - 3 fun -  (7 children)

Anytime someone on reddit says "I'm passing..." look at their history, you'll find their selfies pretty easily, and... never has one been close to passing. I'm not going to say across a room you might not notice, or you might not notice right away until someone speaks, but unless someone has had a lot of surgery, they don't tend to pass - and then they look like someone who has had a lot of surgery done.

The transwomen who pass the best are actually 60 - 80 year olds who aren't super concerned with their looks anymore and transitioned a long time ago. But they aren't transbians - they are attracted to men. That makes a HUGE difference. Transwomen attracted to men are much more likely to pass, for whatever reason.

[–]Marsupial 8 insightful - 1 fun8 insightful - 0 fun9 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Plus those selfies are usually with a ton of makeup, taken at specific angles and modded with filters. At best TiFs will be in that awkward "are they a man or a woman?" group. Most of the time they just look like men in drag though.

[–]blackrainbow 5 insightful - 3 fun5 insightful - 2 fun6 insightful - 3 fun -  (0 children)

I mean, it's (straight) male socialization, women are never this confident about their looks ahahah

[–]RedditHatesLesbians 6 insightful - 1 fun6 insightful - 0 fun7 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Even if some transwomen can and do pass, it doesn't make them "more" female than the transwomen that absolutely don't past. Even if every transwomen you passed on the street was indistinguishable from a woman, they'd still be creepy men in dresses, and "passing" isn't an argument for demanding to be seen as a potential partner for lesbians. Yeah, well done dude, you've achieved society's version of what a woman should look like clothed. Real women can go out wearing rags and no make up with their heads shaved and there would be no mistaking them for a man.

[–]Bitchcraft 4 insightful - 1 fun4 insightful - 0 fun5 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

I don't disagree with the idea that most don't pass. I'm just saying that this argument -- that you know because you knwo -- is flawed.

[–]MadLass 1 insightful - 1 fun1 insightful - 0 fun2 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Omg Ive come across this so many times. One time one was talking about dating stealth and they for sure dont know and their photo was 😬 literally a man in makeup.

[–]ruskiix 1 insightful - 1 fun1 insightful - 0 fun2 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

I saw one once. They said they started hormones early enough for their hips to widen—I don’t know if that’s a thing or maybe they just had slightly wider hips to start and hormones boosted the look with fat distribution. They posted a video and spoke to show their voice. Zero AGP vibes so probably HSTS.

I haven’t really seen anyone else even close to that level though.

Edit: I went looking for it and can’t find it anywhere, so, it’s also possible that was an actual female human posted to give unrealistic hope to others. But if they did pass that well they’d probably want to delete everything.

[–]SaidOverRed 6 insightful - 1 fun6 insightful - 0 fun7 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Now this is what I come here for. Some actually varying opinions that's not just the standard "what do you mean there is more than one wave of feminism?" and "I don't know where the T in the alphabet soup came from!".

I mean, I disagree with the application of the evidence. In fact, I am aware of some toupees that I could not tell were toupees. But I have never seen a man that I thought was a woman who had to explain 'actually I was born a man.' They are always at best in the uncanny valley. You know something's wrong with them but you know they don't have downs and you just can't put your finger on it in the first two seconds. And then they speak.

[–]jelliknight 1 insightful - 1 fun1 insightful - 0 fun2 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Of course you wouldn't know if someone did pass, but don't forget hands, shoulder/hip ratio, gait, adams apple, brow, voice etc. There's lots of ways to tell a persons sex.

I would say any that "pass" are most likely just falling into an uncanny valley where you think "Is that a man pretending to be a woman, or a reeeeeeeeeeeeaaaallly masculine women with a hormonal disorder? How do I avoid causing a scene?"

I do find TIFs on testosterone are sometimes really hard to tell though, once their voice breaks, but again IRL shoulder/hip ratios and gait and pretty obvious.

[–]Taveing 5 insightful - 1 fun5 insightful - 0 fun6 insightful - 1 fun -  (2 children)

You know what I've noticed? Men struggle to spot TIMs where women can easily identify them. Admittedly it's only anecdotal evidence but seriously see if the men in your life can easily pick them out.

It's really interesting - I think it's because women are socially trained to be much more aware of potential threats.

[–]MarkTwainiac 7 insightful - 1 fun7 insightful - 0 fun8 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

I also think that evolution might have equipped female humans with greater visual perceptual abilities than males - and with some additional ones as well. But human culture and society are not aware of these additional female perceptual powers because males have always been considered the default humans, so only their perceptions/senses have been studied extensively. Male perceptual abilities are considered to be the norm and to represent the end all/be all of human possibility - but I don't think that's actually the case.

[–]moody_ape 2 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 0 fun3 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

i think it makes a lot of sense.

[–]blackrainbow 37 insightful - 1 fun37 insightful - 0 fun38 insightful - 1 fun -  (3 children)

That policy is chilling, seems like something only a psychopath would write, it is literally conversion therapy

[–]dmitrykaramasov[S] 19 insightful - 2 fun19 insightful - 1 fun20 insightful - 2 fun -  (0 children)

I posted this on /r/actuallesbians and people go: "Well, what's wrong with any of that?"

[–]Terfest_Shadow 5 insightful - 1 fun5 insightful - 0 fun6 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Sometimes I see TRAs claim on Twitter that GC is conversion therapy and it absolutely boggles my mind that they don't understand what they're actually supporting

[–]SaidOverRed 1 insightful - 1 fun1 insightful - 0 fun2 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

I don't even find this kind of craziness to be out of place. Of course this is the type of man who would write the rules. Our own lesbian subsaidit has some pretty crazy rules too.

[–]Apricot_Ibex 29 insightful - 1 fun29 insightful - 0 fun30 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

But lesbian women, just like anyone else, have individual variations in who they are sexually attracted to. Imagine that! Whether they are more into butch women or more feminine presenting women, or both, various different body types, or whatever....the point is, they are into WOMEN!

How the ever-loving FUCK can these sickos say “oh, it’s 100% okay if you’re not into butch women, but you absolutely must be into DICK, or you are prejudiced!” How is a lesbian not liking dick the same as discriminating against someone’s immigration status or class background? Is it perhaps because a woman saying NO to a man’s sexual advances is still considered the worst crime ever committed against humanity? These fucking incels!

And lesbian women are still being persecuted in so many places! “Corrective” rape, forced marriage to men, assault, job and marriage discrimination, forced trans surgery in Iran on punishment of death...hello, TIMs...lesbians are a real minority facing prejudice. TIMs want to LARP and set themselves up as being a more oppressed minority than lesbians so that they can guilt trip them. I don’t want trans people to be hurt or harassed. I hate violence. But THIS IS violence, harassment, and gaslighting.

[–]Fusrodamus 29 insightful - 1 fun29 insightful - 0 fun30 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

That was a horrifying read.

If a man believes he has the right to dictate when you can safely say "No", then he intends to disregard that "No" if it doesn't meet his standards.

He's a rapist.

[–]blackrainbow 5 insightful - 1 fun5 insightful - 0 fun6 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Where is "my body my choice"?

[–]Bitchcraft 28 insightful - 1 fun28 insightful - 0 fun29 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

All sorts of products have "don't consume while breastfeeding" (because they influence the milk) on them, I wonder if somebody with such a twisted, lacking, understanding of biology has given it any thought.

[–]endless_assfluff 9 insightful - 1 fun9 insightful - 0 fun10 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Gonna go out on a limb and guess that estradiol is one of those things.

[–]TurtleFuzz 23 insightful - 1 fun23 insightful - 0 fun24 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

So, this guy is pretending to be a woman, so he thinks he can breastfeed a baby? Gross! It's definitely not that simple. A lot of nutrition is probably lost because this man doesn't have the biological structure to make healthy breast milk.

And his claim that it's an advantage and straight parents are "forced into heteronormative inequality"? Wtf. It's called SCIENCE. Women are best equipped to feed babies, end of story.

[–]moody_ape 22 insightful - 2 fun22 insightful - 1 fun23 insightful - 2 fun -  (4 children)

"you wouldn't rule out someone because they have six toes, would you?"

yeah, sure, because people have sex with feet and no genitals are involved. except for foot fetishists, people expect to there be genitals involved in sex and if they are not into that particular kind of genital, they have the right to refuse it.

[–]LasagnaRossa 29 insightful - 1 fun29 insightful - 0 fun30 insightful - 1 fun -  (3 children)

The fact that they think that sex is a minor detail just like the number of toes is pretty telling of their knowledge about biology and human behavior.

[–]MadLass 16 insightful - 1 fun16 insightful - 0 fun17 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Oh their delusion is past the point of return. I noticed one TIM asking for medical advice stating that they were female but as we know medical advice can differ based on sex. Their post history clearly told a different story.

[–]moody_ape 11 insightful - 1 fun11 insightful - 0 fun12 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

they do know biology. they just deny it for their own twisted purpose.

[–]Terfest_Shadow 5 insightful - 1 fun5 insightful - 0 fun6 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Oh absolutely, the reason they're so militant about denying it is because they know it's innate and it drives them insane

[–]dazedandsubdued 21 insightful - 1 fun21 insightful - 0 fun22 insightful - 1 fun -  (8 children)

gahh i'm genuinely worried for that baby. is there even any scientific evidence at all that male breastmilk has even one iota of the nutrients in a mother's milk?? come on man....

i pray they are doing mostly formula after indulging in this person's fantasies. : /

[–]MarkTwainiac 14 insightful - 5 fun14 insightful - 4 fun15 insightful - 5 fun -  (6 children)

Whatever came out of this guys nips, it was not "male breastmilk." It was male secretions or exudate. Most likely to be pus.

No way drug-induced male nipple discharge has any nutritional value and can benefit a child. It would be more likely to harm an infant than to nourish & provide immunity.

Such male nipple discharge probably tastes repulsive too. Nobody's ever waxed lyrical about "the sweet milk of male narcissism" LOL.

[–]Marsupial 8 insightful - 1 fun8 insightful - 0 fun9 insightful - 1 fun -  (4 children)

I would really like to see the growth curve of that baby. This idea that his breast milk is equal to hers makes me very worried for the child's health.

[–]Terfest_Shadow 4 insightful - 1 fun4 insightful - 0 fun5 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

I can't wait for all these kids to come out in two decades and talk about the health problems TIM "breastfeeding" caused them.

What a fucking travesty.

[–]Comatoast 3 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 0 fun4 insightful - 1 fun -  (2 children)

Would it even be capable of producing colostrum? I need to look into this when it's not 1am.

[–]MarkTwainiac 11 insightful - 1 fun11 insightful - 0 fun12 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

NO!!! https://www.llli.org/breastfeeding-info/colostrum-general/

To produce colostrum, you need to be able to produce lactogen, and to do that you need to have made a placenta to support and nourish a fetus. Adoptive mothers (female ones) who use drugs to induce lactation still cannot produce colustrum:

Mothers who induce lactation produce mature breastmilk that is comparable to the breastmilk of a biological mother at 10 days post partum. Because inducing moms are unable to produce human placental lactogen, they are unable to produce colostrum. However, since the amount of antibodies and other immune factors remains the same throughout lactation regardless of the volume of milk produced, mature milk contains ample amounts of antibodies, immune factors and other beneficial components that benefit both mother and baby. https://www.canadianbreastfeedingfoundation.org/induced/faq.shtml

Galactorrhea - milky-looking breast/nipple discharge - is not the same as lactation and breastmilk. https://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/galactorrhea/symptoms-causes/syc-20350431

[–]Comatoast 1 insightful - 1 fun1 insightful - 0 fun2 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Thank you for the info! I forgot about my notifications page.

[–]dazedandsubdued 2 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 0 fun3 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

thank you for this info but oh my..going to go vomit now. just YUCK.

[–]Terfest_Shadow 7 insightful - 4 fun7 insightful - 3 fun8 insightful - 4 fun -  (0 children)

I would literally rather feed a baby Gatorade than TIM nipple spewage

[–]Sebell 13 insightful - 2 fun13 insightful - 1 fun14 insightful - 2 fun -  (1 child)

"When I hear a lesbian rule out trans women because of the presence of a hidden penis, I feel sorry for her partner, because how superficial is that?"

The good 'ol 1 - 2: "Of course I'm not saying genital preferences are wrong" but "I'm telling you - genital preferences are wrong!"

[–]Delia 2 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 0 fun3 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Hysterical. A woman smells like a woman and trans cannot replicate that.

[–]Marsupial 9 insightful - 1 fun9 insightful - 0 fun10 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Ew. They're such nutjobs. That baby is being denied actual nutrition (mother's milk or formula) in order to comply with the father's autogynephilia fetish. It's child abuse.

[–]sallytomato 5 insightful - 1 fun5 insightful - 0 fun6 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

I'm sorry to ask this but can someone explain how this man is breastfeeding a baby?

[–]denverkris 7 insightful - 1 fun7 insightful - 0 fun8 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

afaik there's some special hormone they can inject themselves with (in addition to the unnatural hormones they already inject) that can induce some lactation in men. fecking disgusting.

[–][deleted] 4 insightful - 1 fun4 insightful - 0 fun5 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Gag me. 🤮

[–]Delia 3 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 0 fun4 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Imagine spending your whole life gaslighting people.

[–]moody_ape 1 insightful - 1 fun1 insightful - 0 fun2 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

the first time i read it, i thought he was saying that their were feeding the baby formula and thought "he's probably using some kinf of weird gadget to emulate breast feeding" and i didn't think it was a big deal. but after reading it a second time, it does sound like he's 'feeding' the baby directly, as if he actually could do so. disgusting!