all 19 comments

[–]catawampus 35 insightful - 7 fun35 insightful - 6 fun36 insightful - 7 fun -  (3 children)

This is one of my biggest pet peeves ever. None of my female friends ever talked about our vulvas and any time I heard anything growing up about vaginas or vulvas, it was always boys on the bus talking about “fishy” or “loose” vaginas.

Media/internet also takes part in it by making jokes about being a slut is akin to having a “loose” vagina and using words such as “roast beef” to indicate vulvas with longer labia minora as women who have had sex more. Also, I never knew that merkins (pubic wigs) are used by female actresses to cover themselves up for a nude scene and no one ever mentions it, I just thought they all naturally didn’t show anything and that I was the freak. Even looking up medical information on the internet, you often get pictures of flowers or fruit rather than a vulva.

Even romance novels will use words indicating a “neat and tidy” vulva and indicate that it should “taste like cream.” Let’s not even get started on porn actresses.

It is such bullshit and dangerous misinformation, no wonder labiaplasty cases are on the rise. I didn’t have sex until my mid twenties and you can sure believe that my vulva didn’t look the way media and the internet says vulvas are supposed to look. Growing up, my self-consciousness and negative feelings towards my vulva got so extreme that I literally would have rather had cancer than go to a gynecology office. It took a couple years of sex positive and female friendly sex education for me to feel even remotely ready to go to a gyn, and the first time I went, I cried for two days prior and the day of the exam. It took a full year of working with my partner to get comfortable being naked around him and accept that he wasn’t going to reject me because of my vulva’s appearance

Vulvas are wonderfully diverse in appearance and don’t let anyone ever tell you that the way your vulva looks is not normal or tell you what it should look like. If any guy or woman makes fun of your vulva, or is disgusted by it not looking like their pornified expectations, then you deserve better.

Now take a drink every time I write vulva.

[–]catawampus 14 insightful - 6 fun14 insightful - 5 fun15 insightful - 6 fun -  (2 children)

Wow, I didn’t realize how long my rant was until I posted it.

[–]lefterfield 10 insightful - 2 fun10 insightful - 1 fun11 insightful - 2 fun -  (1 child)

An epic rant, though :)

[–]catawampus 3 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 0 fun4 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Ha! Thanks

[–]vitunrotta 15 insightful - 4 fun15 insightful - 3 fun16 insightful - 4 fun -  (5 children)

I just recently read an article from my home country that spoke about "pussy shame" and I was utterly horrified. It was about women who felt terrible about their outer genitals (labia) and some of them had gone to do some ~corrective surgeries~. I had no idea this had become such a big thing. For it to reach a teensy weensy (albeit super Western and in some cases, disgustingly Americanized) country means it actually is a thing. It's spreading allover. Much like that TERRIBLE sandwich!11!! * add some good Christian outrage here *

We're reaching new levels of low. And I also know where I shall be pointing my finger at. It's not just the usual suspects - the right wing religious bigots and conservative misogynists. Instead, I would like to give a STANDING OVATION TO ALL THE LIBFEMS who went to universities and came from steady backgrounds and ate up this post-modernist bullshit hook, line and sinker: and then started spreading the Kool-Aid around the entire world, like it was their own special Jonestown. Thank you for your efforts, Rebecca Solnit et al. Really, wow, you just took the cake and threw it in the dumpster and then shat on it, and now you want US to eat that shit? I think not.

Any and every action committed by a woman is feminism by libsters. That's it. Easy-peasy, no-brain-eezy. So the original poster of that ham sandwich is DEFO a feminist and performs a feminist act by libfem standards (of nothing...) right?! And if she doesn't, then why is that bollocks unacceptable and woman-hating, but the WAP video is crazy cool? And oooh don't we just adore our Kardashians, Cardi B's, Nicky Minaj's and whofucking-evers allover Instagram that literally make themselves look like live-action sex dolls - and libfems just see this and think YAS KWEEN it's so liberating like OMG gonna make a TikTok about my nails now.

Fucking hell.

And then we have a massive group of fetishist dudes who put on make up, ending up looking like my dog shat some crayons on their faces, and TOODILY FUCKING DOO they are WIMIN now. What is this place we live in?!

I'm so done. Doneso. Donesies. Let's take over NASA and go have a splendid life on Mars. Or just drift into space endlessly, don't care. I am so very done with the human species.

[–]wicklesnarf 7 insightful - 3 fun7 insightful - 2 fun8 insightful - 3 fun -  (1 child)

some ~corrective surgeries~.

I've been noticing this spread over the course of my life, of more and more territory of women's bodies being claimed by men and it becoming more mainstream (and over time maybe expected) for the average woman to participate. The full shave/brazilian wax, lightening creams for labia and nipples, bleaching your asshole because we apparently have to worry about our literal assholes being pretty now. I've heard guys talking about anal sex and casually saying shit like, she just needs to fast/eat this particular diet for an entire day and then give herself an enema--So that her actual guts are attractive enough for him to put his penis in. And I'd bet any amount of money their girlfriends aren't the ones asking for anal. Where will the line be drawn? Stay the fuck out of my digestive system.

[–]vitunrotta 4 insightful - 1 fun4 insightful - 0 fun5 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Preach. It has gotten out of hand completely. Anal sex is sold to us like it’s the new normal now. And sure, if you like it and you have a partner that knows your boundaries AND doesn’t expect you to fast (do they do that?! Christ on a cracker...) - do what you want as a consenting adult. But it’s generally NOT something pleasurable for a woman. Because newsflash! Your asshole has another purpose.

Oh, forgot to give an honorable mention in my original rant: GWYNETH FUCKING PALTROW and her vagina steaming and shoving crystals up every orifice you can find in your body. The mere sight of that woman and her snakeoil company make me angry. There is a great site/blog though, written by an actual gynecologist who bashes all of the nonsense products Goop is selling. It’s magnificent. Don’t remember her name now but a quick google search should give you the answer if you’re interested 🤓

[–]catawampus 3 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 0 fun4 insightful - 1 fun -  (2 children)

Thanks for joining in on the ranting, I’m glad I’m not alone. lol

I totally agree. I was seriously considering the surgery, but I’m glad I did some research first. Websites like the Labia Library, and talking to my gyn, really helped me start putting things into perspective.

[–]vitunrotta 2 insightful - 5 fun2 insightful - 4 fun3 insightful - 5 fun -  (0 children)

Plot twist: I am not a woman at all - I am three tiny witches entirely made of rants, standing on each other’s shoulders, hiding under a trench coat. 🧙🏻‍♀️

[–][deleted] 1 insightful - 1 fun1 insightful - 0 fun2 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

I've had girl patients as young as fourteen asking for referrals for labiaplasty bc when they wear tight leggings it's uncomfortable. Um so wear something else, don't chop up healthy tissue. I'm so sad for them. I'm glad you didn't go through with it and that your gyne didn't automatically go ahead with it.

[–]Poppy29252 11 insightful - 2 fun11 insightful - 1 fun12 insightful - 2 fun -  (0 children)

Not sure men ever make calculated attempts to make women feel good about themselves.

[–]shveya 5 insightful - 1 fun5 insightful - 0 fun6 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

For anyone interested here is a pro-woman website all about labias, including labia library (Photos). They really are just as diverse as faces.

[–][deleted] 5 insightful - 1 fun5 insightful - 0 fun6 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

The worst of it is that it was actually a woman who posted those ham wedge photos.

[–]catawampus 3 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 0 fun4 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

I’m not surprised, anatomical misinformation of our genitalia, as well as internalized misogyny, is far too common.

[–]BrokenEarth 4 insightful - 1 fun4 insightful - 0 fun5 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

I feel the same way when they shame fat women for our bodies.

[–]msteacherlady 4 insightful - 1 fun4 insightful - 0 fun5 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

When I was a teen I had no idea this was even something to worry about. I didn't become sexually active until I was older, and by that time I had seen all the criticism on the internet. It made me super self conscious. Plus all the porn out there with bare vulvas and perfect or augmented tits.

A friend learned about my hangups and once said, "No one cares about your tits. Men are dogs, and they don't care about any of that." Correct on all counts as it turns out!

Anyway, some of these guys may just be engaging in a lil' tit for tat but I think some are genuinely just grossed out by vaginas and may be gay or even asexual. They've got some shame around that and so they lash out. They've got a lot of reconciling to do, but of course they won't.

[–]buttbuttinator 1 insightful - 1 fun1 insightful - 0 fun2 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Uhhh, I'd always thought it was just an open fact that it was. When I first heard the term "roasties" (an incel term for women) I had to look it up (it legitimately wasn't clear from the context) and the resources I found weren't feminist but explicitly described the etymology as being an attempt to create a female corollary to dick insults.