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[–]Comatoast 26 insightful - 1 fun26 insightful - 0 fun27 insightful - 1 fun -  (5 children)

You're very much allowed to be a lesbian without having to change anything about yourself. If you're attracted to other women, you appreciate the features of those other women, right? Well, you've got the bonus of having those features too. Boobs are an inconvenience, but an excellent sports bra that's a little more confining keeps them out of the way for the most part. What kinds of things are you doing to keep your mind busy? I know school just started back up, so there's probably less time to do things outside of study.

[–]please_help[S] 3 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 0 fun4 insightful - 1 fun -  (4 children)

It's not just an inconvenience. It's not something I can just hide. I consider them tumors. They shouldn't be on my body and I just... I do not want to live with them, and with surgery as an option, I'm less agonized by them knowing I can erase them from my body. Anyways.

I definitely appreciate features that my girlfriend has. Unfortunately I'm not happy about the same features on myself.

As far as keeping myself busy, besides arguing with myself internally I've recently been focusing on losing weight, as well as collecting houseplants. I also go for bike rides looking for animal remains (a bit morbid, yes, but I'm hoping to become a taxidermist in the future)

[–]jelliknight 22 insightful - 1 fun22 insightful - 0 fun23 insightful - 1 fun -  (2 children)

You need to learn some methods for guiding your own thoughts. You mind is like a garden, and your thoughts are plants. If they please you, water them and nurture them. If they're harmful, get rid of them. And make sure you pull them out by the root so they don't grow back.

Here's a method I taught myself that's sort of like a meditation. When you notice a distressing thought, take it out on its own and inspect it.

"I consider them tumors" lets just objectively look at that. Is it true? Are breasts tumors? No, of course not. They're a perfectly normal part of a woman's body. Is it helpful? Not really, it makes you feel negatively about yourself, about being seen, and it's leading you to consider drastic surgical intervention. What emotion is it based on? These things are growing and you don't want them there. You cant keep repeating something in your mind once you know it's totally not true, so rephrase it into something that is true: "I consider my breasts to be a perfectly natural growth that I'm uncomfortable with."

Let's do the second one, "They shouldn't be on my body" Is that true? They're breasts, you're a 16 year old girl. Is it true or is it false? Is it a helpful thought? Is it making you feel good or helping you to achieve something that you want to do? What emotion is it based on? Now rephrase that thought into something that's genuinely true. An example might be "even though breasts are normal body parts, I'd rather I didn't have them."

I was very interested in the macabre when i was younger, go with it. I second herbalism and taxidermy as great hobbies to focus your energy on.

Your body is for getting around in. You only look at it for a few seconds a day. Don't risk impacting the other 23 hours, 59 minutes and 45 seconds for vanity. No surgery is risk free.

[–]fuckingsealions 12 insightful - 1 fun12 insightful - 0 fun13 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

This is great advice. If OP or anyone is looking for more formal or detailed guidance, I'd recommend CBT techniques for people experiencing unhelpful thought patterns.

[–]TarshishJupiter 9 insightful - 1 fun9 insightful - 0 fun10 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Awesome tips here. I would also add that DBT is very helpful for people struggling with dysphoria. Dialectical thinking can help balance validating feelings and changing feelings that aren't effective. It's a bit more tempered than raw CBT, and it has really helped me out. I'm actually about to attend a DBT zoom session in a few minutes.

[–]Comatoast 19 insightful - 1 fun19 insightful - 0 fun20 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

It's not about being happy with them, it's more of just an acceptance that they're there.

You know what goes well with houseplants? Learning herbalism and botany.

Eh, you're not going to weird me out, I've gotten some years to grow into my weird. Anyhow, if they're animal remains, they're not going to miss them anymore. Taxidermy is fucking awesome. My husband keeps trying to drop money on Etsy to get me one of the mice with the dioramas set up to look like various pop culture references. Start researching anatomy and bone structure, then look into poses. Here, you might like her stuff.

http://www.artbybrookeweston.com/gallery.html