you are viewing a single comment's thread.

view the rest of the comments →

[–]Spikygrasspod 9 insightful - 1 fun9 insightful - 0 fun10 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

It's not your fault that a shit person deliberately trampled your boundaries and didn't give a fuck what you wanted or what was best for you.

It's normal to not be psychologically prepared to object or fight back, because we don't expect people to shit all over our boundaries. We can't imagine doing that to other people, so we don't expect them to do it to us. And it's normal to try to 'normalise' the relationship by pretending things are okay before you've had a chance to process.

None of this is your fault. It is all his fault. It doesn't matter what it felt like or what you said; he kicked over your spoken boundaries and did what he wanted because he doesn't give a fuck about you. Fucking boundary trampling men do it on purpose, it's not a mistake for them, it's deliberate. It absolutely didn't happen because you weren't clear enough. Because you know what men do if they're not rapist fucks and they're not sure if you want anal sex? They ask you. They make sure. But violators creep around and figure out what they can get away with.

I'm so sorry you went through this. You will be okay despite the hurt.