Need Advice for dealing with baby momma trying to trans my stepson

submitted by halebop from self.GenderCritical

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[–][deleted]  (6 children)

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    [–]halebop[S] 19 insightful - 1 fun19 insightful - 0 fun20 insightful - 1 fun -  (5 children)

    She's just on the boarder of anything we could take her to court for. The little one is dirty and his nails are always overgrown. He didn't go to school for a third of the year last year but she was always making excuses that he was sick and it was kindergarten so it legally doesn't count yet. The older son is 13 and basically responsible for himself and a lot of housework. She was in an inpatient mental health facility for 2 weeks last year and didn't tell anyone, left the kids with a friend and they were missing school. We picked them up though and started taking them to school. They know pretty inappropriate things about her relationships but nothing graphic. It's all just on the verge and together it should be fairly clear that she isn't doing a good job, but none of it is enough to take her to court and win and we don't want to put the kids through that without some level of certainty.

    [–]Huffleterf 23 insightful - 1 fun23 insightful - 0 fun24 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

    Document everything, in handwriting or an online document where you can see when edits are made. Get letters from the teachers and anyone else too.

    Your step sons are lucky to have a caring step parent.

    [–]halebop[S] 2 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 0 fun3 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

    Good idea, we will start doing this.

    [–]SanityIsGC 9 insightful - 1 fun9 insightful - 0 fun10 insightful - 1 fun -  (2 children)

    As mentioned document everything but I also wonder whether it would be good to record your stepson on video whenever he is over, videotape all interactions with him. Also get a selection of toys oriented towards boys and gender neutral toys like doctor stuff he can sort through and play with and see what he says and his reaction. Get all that on tape. Ask him very non leading questions about his mom so anything that alarms you about her mental state is caught on tape.

    Maybe one of those hidden cameras parents have to monitor nannies.

    [–]halebop[S] 3 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 0 fun4 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

    I was thinking of that, it's one of the things we did when the autism thing came up. We just took video of him playing with other kids, making eye contact, playing imaginative games ect. It was helpful then. Just not sure of exactly what would be helpful here and still be obvious that we are not influencing him yet

    [–]SanityIsGC 2 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 0 fun3 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

    What would be helpful is to have on tape a child who doesn't show any inclination or make any comments about wanting to be a girl. You'll also have on tape comments that he might blurt out like his mom thinks he is a girl that would suggest his mom is grooming him.