I agree, insulting someone you're having a polite discussion with is wrong and I also really like this space and how we interact. Honestly, people being super-rude online and exploding in rage at minor disagreements is something I consider a "man problem", lots of dudes never learned to control their emotions and they quickly turn to hatred and threats when they get frustrated. We're not like that and GC being mainly female is a big reason, IMO.

That being said, I think it holds us women back when we always HAVE TO be polite and civil no matter what. I've seen inappropriate tone policing here a few times, and a couple of days ago I got a comment saying "this makes us all look bad" when I commented that a TiM (who had disseminated leaflets asking for TERFs to be punched in the throat) was just jealous of women's throats because he had a fat manly neck. Which, sure, isn't nice to say but this guy was literally instigating violence against women. I dealt with my anger at this by joking about his motives and I don't think we have to be perfect angels all the time. My opinion is also just my own, women are not a hivemind, if you don't like my comment it still cannot "make us all look bad".

TRAs will not give us an inch no matter how nice we are, and "the mainstream" barely cares about women's issues anyway. Early suffragettes fighting for their rights literally got into fist fights with men who wanted to stop them from protesting and extreme civil disobedience was a main tool in reaching their goals. Now of course this is a far cry from how we act toward each other, but we are not emotionless nice little ladies all having a tea party together. We are here because we're angry at injustice. Perfectly behaved fembots is how men want women to be, and we have to accept that things might get a little heated here sometimes.