I remember a lot of 90s feminism being a sort of sexy holdover of whimpering 80s feminism. Sometimes I’ll watch 90s commercials on YouTube and just think, Holy shit. I can’t believe how much things have changed. Not that they’re ideal by any means now, but...

90s feminism seemed to be all about being a corporate boss in a power suit (with ever-shorter, ever-sexier skirts, of course) but still being a woman, which always meant still being a wife and a mommy. It was also the real burst of “Being a sexual object is EMPOWERING!” onto the mass consciousness of liberal feminism. Thanks, Victoria’s Secret.

90s feminism was about installing daycare centers in offices, so working mothers could bring their kids to work, without anyone ever really asking why that was a working mother’s problem, and not a working father’s. It was about how working moms (always working moms, never working women, because ultimately all working women, no matter how “independent” and “non-maternal” they naively might think they were, were going to have babies and love and want their babies and realized they wanted them all along) needed easy-to-prepare dinners and appliances and cleaners that made cooking and cleaning simpler. It was feminist to make a working mom’s life easier by admitting that she spent several hours a day at work, and thus it would be super-nice if the womanly tasks she had to take care of upon getting home were streamlined. Men were lovable, but useless in this regard; there was nothing more endearing that watching one’s husband blunder through attempting to prepare a meal or clean a toilet or entertain his own child. What a rascal! And then Clorox is here to help you clean up the mess he made. See? Feminism! We’re thinking of your rights by recognizing that stains can be hard to lift and developing chemicals that make it easier!

Sexy feminism was all about telling you that just because you were a wife and mother (and if you weren’t - don’t worry! You will be someday, I promise!) that didn’t mean you couldn’t slip on lacy panties and a push-up bra to delight your husband. That was the whole point, and you were empowered by this. You were empowered by “getting” your husband to want you; it was your job to get him sexually aroused. Teenage girls were sold movies in which they obsessed over losing their virginity by a particular age. No one ever wrote a screenplay about a girl’s coming-of-age who just decided not to have sex because she ultimately decided she didn’t want to. If she was against having sex, it was because of a repressive conservative and/or religious upbringing, and that needed to be rectified. Once she did, she found her true happiness.

Popular 90s feminism seemed to be all about making it easier for women to live within traditional gender roles. Okay, you can work, you can even get promoted - but don’t forget, you’re still a wife. You’re still a mommy. You’re still a sex object. You still have those obligations to fulfill. We’re just going to pretend that that was feminism’s goal all along.