More proof that NB is the woke flavor of "I'm not like the other girls"

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[–]meranii 32 insightful - 1 fun32 insightful - 0 fun33 insightful - 1 fun -  (4 children)

I didn't wear ultra feminine clothing as a teenager either. I preferred baggy pants and huge flannel shirts (they were cool back in the 90s). It was what it was at the time, I didn't make a big deal of it nor tried to change my "gender identity" because of it.

Same, in the early to mid-90s short hair and grunge were all the rage (even if my friends and I were a little young to really get into it), we never pretended this gave us a whole new gender. Gender-neutral clothes (baggy sweatshirts, men's cut Levis, Doc Martens boots) were just normal, none of us were "brave" for our style. Imagine thinking yourself more authentic than other girls because of what you pull out of your closet?

[–]suzyquattrosshoes 27 insightful - 1 fun27 insightful - 0 fun28 insightful - 1 fun -  (3 children)

Same generation, also find it mind blowing

However the feminine ideal of the 90s was Kate Moss (anorexia wasn’t like a small issue) while now it’s Kardashian style - fake eyes, fake nose, fake ass, fake hair, corset, walking around in full stage makeup during the day; being expected to have zero pubic hair; being asked to have anal sex on a first date as a freaking fifteen year old, being CHOKED during sex, at ALL... instagram bullshit everywhere, that alone has to be a terrifying weight to carry.

On top of the forms of sexism we know. By which I mean experiencing the effects of sexism without necessarily being able to name it (because suddenly that’s not allowed). Because young people also have a HEAVY optimism and just world bias because they want to feel empowered (developmentally normal, fine), and want to dissociate from the older “terfs” (or “Karens” even) because being part of that team means being unsexy or dated. And really they all want approval and acceptance so eff that, right.

(A young libfem tourist here said I was a “victim” and “dated” for saying that makeup isn’t empowering. Girl is going to find out about the world by the time she’s 40. I saw sexism before then, but That’s how long it took me to REALLY work to shake off that desire for societal / male approval and be ok with not looking cute most of the time. And I grew up in the 90s, without all that porny shit infecting my romantic life and self concept.)

But I think the idea of stereotypes being limiting might reach them? Idk. I honestly don’t know how it couldn’t

[–]Complicated-Spirit 20 insightful - 1 fun20 insightful - 0 fun21 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

I remember a lot of 90s feminism being a sort of sexy holdover of whimpering 80s feminism. Sometimes I’ll watch 90s commercials on YouTube and just think, Holy shit. I can’t believe how much things have changed. Not that they’re ideal by any means now, but...

90s feminism seemed to be all about being a corporate boss in a power suit (with ever-shorter, ever-sexier skirts, of course) but still being a woman, which always meant still being a wife and a mommy. It was also the real burst of “Being a sexual object is EMPOWERING!” onto the mass consciousness of liberal feminism. Thanks, Victoria’s Secret.

90s feminism was about installing daycare centers in offices, so working mothers could bring their kids to work, without anyone ever really asking why that was a working mother’s problem, and not a working father’s. It was about how working moms (always working moms, never working women, because ultimately all working women, no matter how “independent” and “non-maternal” they naively might think they were, were going to have babies and love and want their babies and realized they wanted them all along) needed easy-to-prepare dinners and appliances and cleaners that made cooking and cleaning simpler. It was feminist to make a working mom’s life easier by admitting that she spent several hours a day at work, and thus it would be super-nice if the womanly tasks she had to take care of upon getting home were streamlined. Men were lovable, but useless in this regard; there was nothing more endearing that watching one’s husband blunder through attempting to prepare a meal or clean a toilet or entertain his own child. What a rascal! And then Clorox is here to help you clean up the mess he made. See? Feminism! We’re thinking of your rights by recognizing that stains can be hard to lift and developing chemicals that make it easier!

Sexy feminism was all about telling you that just because you were a wife and mother (and if you weren’t - don’t worry! You will be someday, I promise!) that didn’t mean you couldn’t slip on lacy panties and a push-up bra to delight your husband. That was the whole point, and you were empowered by this. You were empowered by “getting” your husband to want you; it was your job to get him sexually aroused. Teenage girls were sold movies in which they obsessed over losing their virginity by a particular age. No one ever wrote a screenplay about a girl’s coming-of-age who just decided not to have sex because she ultimately decided she didn’t want to. If she was against having sex, it was because of a repressive conservative and/or religious upbringing, and that needed to be rectified. Once she did, she found her true happiness.

Popular 90s feminism seemed to be all about making it easier for women to live within traditional gender roles. Okay, you can work, you can even get promoted - but don’t forget, you’re still a wife. You’re still a mommy. You’re still a sex object. You still have those obligations to fulfill. We’re just going to pretend that that was feminism’s goal all along.

[–]our_team_is_winning 2 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 0 fun3 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Teenage girls were sold movies in which they obsessed over losing their virginity by a particular age. No one ever wrote a screenplay about a girl’s coming-of-age who just decided not to have sex because she ultimately decided she didn’t want to.

Dating myself here, but "Little Darlings" -- Kristy McNichol, a lesbian actually, and Tatum O'Neal, compete to see who can "lose" their virginity first at summer camp. WHY did girls ever buy into that????

[–]our_team_is_winning 4 insightful - 1 fun4 insightful - 0 fun5 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

being expected to have zero pubic hair; being asked to have anal sex on a first date as a freaking fifteen year old, being CHOKED during sex

These three things actually scare me. I mean, shave if you want to, but it seems like a pedo thing to be hairless.