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[–][deleted] 16 insightful - 2 fun16 insightful - 1 fun17 insightful - 2 fun -  (8 children)

THIS explains my other posts about trans chasing and stalking me a bit!

I have to rant about this and maybe the lesbian or lgb is a better place to do it, but because this article is here, away I go!

Sooooo many parallels I have with this guy! Wow I want to have a chat with Duncan! How do I reach this guy??!! I had a girlfriend when I was younger, my first everything, no questioning at that time, but hiding.

I was beaten up as well for other reasons. I was too nerdy. Too into things that women should not be into even though I had longer hair. Sports, cars, racing, etc, and I did it in a little black dress or in overalls with combat boots. I could play in the mud, wear a tie, or sport a rockin' full length gown with opera gloves.

I also, to this day, am not considered to be a lesbian by LGB standards because I have longer hair. It is ridiculous. I live in the US, and I have been ridiculed online and in person, and had many lesbians who do not look like me demand my personal and sexual history, insist I am a tourist, must be pan, cannot be a lesbian, but where is my flannel? Why am I not listening to Dixie Chicks or some Slater Kinney band? (I am not a fan of that kind of music, I also play my own music and record. And have an education.)

I have not had a way to fit in and was outcast by my own group, so that is how I got into trans activism before I even knew it was a word. My own people gave me crap, outed me, and said I was not wearing the lesbian short hair uniform. Must burn my bra. Why not wearing vans? Wow. I still have a lot of bitterness for the lesbian and LGB community at large. I have zero good experiences with them in person, and majority of online=bad. I cringe when I see a butch lesbian. I actually expect some kind of hazing or demonizing from them. ALWAYS, And until I have a corrective experience, I am just not a fan. And that is due to 100% bad experiences. Has any lesbian here gone to a lesbian bar or event, and you find you are the only femme, and the butch come up to you, unprovoked, and insult you and tell you to leave? Multiple times for me!

So like Duncan here, I thought wow, maybe I am the wrong kind of lesbians do not want me, so I adopted the spectrum idea of my identity for about three years. I started thinking if red is male, and if purple is female, I must be floating around in the orange area, and that butch must be the red lesbians. I am not lipstick and do not give two effs about labels, I am a minimalist, but not like those long nailed people (I keep mine short,come on!) I wondered if I was non binary for a time. I wondered if I was femme on the outside, NB on the inside, and thought of myself as a peanut MnM, because what kind of femme lesbian has science degrees and can re-shingle a roof and rerun circuits and race things while baking and serenading you? This one. SO I was just like Duncan. I felt cast out, and was, and still am, by local LGB.

Also, like Duncan, my parents tried to convert me, stating I just haven't met the right man yet. As a result, I am disinherited.

Which brings me to Duncan's next point: If I tell people I am a lesbian, a woman will say "Oh I am bi"as a response, but not as fact, and I KNOW it. Because I will ask, "so have you been with a woman then?" She will reply, "No I have only been with men but I find girls cute."

Problem one, you just said "girls" and two--you called them cute. Fecking hell.

So like Duncan, I started working with the LGBTQ and the community center here and the couple of organizations in the area. I volunteered, I attended events that were for transgender. I started to become friends with some, and they started to chase me, which I broke down in my other post, about being tall, and TiM chasing me because of my height (I found a bunch of reddit threads over in MtF land by the way if you would like a gander at the chasing the tall female comments over there--they DO comment about it being euphoric for them and getting off on someone taller and looking up and standing on their tip toes, fecking sickos!).

I immersed myself just like he did. But I am unsure what happened to him, because no part two yet.

My peakening came from them all trying to use me as a fetish just because of my height, Some just wanted to hang around me to feel like they passed, asking me not to wear makeup, to dress down, to be "more plain". And then the stalking and the people driving from other states, one in sports (now I should name the person!) one a musician, several with doctoral degrees in tech and medicine. I could just go on!

For me it was seeing how they treated me as a piece of meat and making me into the one thing that people did to them on dating apps--A FETISH.

I have never had an experience EVER with a TiM, not even at a store where one was the cashier, where they didn't get weird with me, because they do. Every. Time.

Is there a safe place I could blog this all? Could I write about this on Medium? Does anyone here have a Medium account?

[–]aldoushuxleyghost[S] 6 insightful - 1 fun6 insightful - 0 fun7 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

I follow Duncan on twitter. I bet you can DM him if you want to commiserate/chat or whatever.

And Medium is notoriously anti-GC, and have been known to take down articles written by GC women about the subject. You'll have to ask for a good place to GC blog, I don't know of one.

[–]Comatoast 4 insightful - 1 fun4 insightful - 0 fun5 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

Do it through VPN if you decide to post anything. I'm not familiar enough, but hopefully someone else here can recommend safest practices for remaining anonymous?

That's a damn shame though. I'm sorry that you went through the gamut with the shitty exclusion and then later only to find yourself fetishized after being genuinely altruistic and trying to help other people. Maybe this place is at least good for a rant though? It's not a great substitute for other physical human interaction but we're all limited with that right now anyway.

[–][deleted] 1 insightful - 1 fun1 insightful - 0 fun2 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Thank you! Even my twitter has disposable email through VPN made through gift card bought with cash with a fake phone number through an app with another throwaway email.

Even though some of us disagree, this place is a breath of fresh air. TY!

[–]millicentfawcett 4 insightful - 1 fun4 insightful - 0 fun5 insightful - 1 fun -  (2 children)

Anyone can open a Medium account. Be warned though they ban quite a lot of GC women and remove their content. I'm watching closely to see whether Duncan's is allowed to stay up. Uncommongroundmedia hosts a lot of articles including those Medium bans. Dan Fisher the chief editor is on twitter, they accept submissions.

[–][deleted] 3 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 0 fun4 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)


[–][deleted] 3 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 0 fun4 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Maybe I will have to get medium in the mood and write one or two that is, perhaps related to one of my degrees and something else I am passionate about. Ease into it. Get Medium in the mood before I take her. ;)

[–]DorothyGale 3 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 0 fun4 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

Duncan is on twitter I follow him, he follows me. Well worth talking to him. He's quite happy to chat.

[–][deleted] 3 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 0 fun4 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

That is awesome.

I am hoping my twitter is locked down enough with bogus numbers and other things I used to create it. (the phone number I use is from a state 1000 miles away. hah not even for me. I never lived there. Had to do stuff like that after I was getting stalked in person.

[–]SanityIsGC 14 insightful - 1 fun14 insightful - 0 fun15 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

I'm very interested to read part two. Its interesting that his new found support for GC has been so recent

[–][deleted] 3 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 0 fun4 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

[–]ladyreason 4 insightful - 1 fun4 insightful - 0 fun5 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Hmm. Quite the cliffhanger.

[–]Terfenclaw 3 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 0 fun4 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Well written! Looking forward to the next part.

[–][deleted] 2 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 0 fun3 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

[–]yishengqingwa666 1 insightful - 1 fun1 insightful - 0 fun2 insightful - 1 fun -  (2 children)


[–][deleted] 1 insightful - 1 fun1 insightful - 0 fun2 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)