The Ellen stories remind me of how I've seen female executives treated over the years. There are always stories about them being snobby or cold or demanding, while truly terrible male executives are accepted until they get physically abusive. Exalted men are expected to be brusque, give commands, ignore low-level staff, maintain alliances with powerful men of dubious integrity as part of "playing the game." But high-achieving women must constantly demonstrate humility and deference to prove they don't feel superior to others.

To me, the question isn't "is Ellen rude? flawed?" but "is Ellen behaving more rudely than other male celebrities?" I virtually never hear about famous men being "mean" and "staff are told to never look them in the eye" and that kind of thing, only sexual harassment/abuse stories are circulated. Yet most of the male celebrities I've met act like gods and everyone scrambles to take care of their needs with jaw-dropping subservience. So whenever I hear that a female politician, actor or celebrity is arrogant.... Maybe they are but I'll start giving a shit when people hold male celebrities to the same standard.