This is a valuable perspective and a good reminder. I never liked Ellen's show and the totality of the things I've heard about her do not make me feel sorry for her. However, you are absolutely correct that women are held to different bullshit standards than men. I see it all the time and I've seen it for decades. As a young woman I came to see that women in the workplace were assigned roles like "bitch", "mom", "flirt". It's been galling to see how men can just "be". They don't have to constantly check themselves or their words or their demeanor.
I guess one final point though is that we should be careful to not give "get out of jail free" cards to people based on their "intersectionality". To me, Ellen was too much of a shitty boss to get a pass because she's a woman. Man or woman, I wouldn't want to work for someone like that. So I'm not going to defend her. But like you say, you just don't hear these types of stories about male celebrities--mainly because it's "OK" for men to act like "bitches" (ha!).
Anyway, thanks for this good food for thought. It is absolutely worth pondering.