Something I've noticed that's bothering me regarding the talk around birthrates

submitted by andrewjackson from self.GenderCritical

sorted by:
top
newinsightfulfun
you are viewing a single comment's thread.

view the rest of the comments →

[–][deleted]  (9 children)

[deleted]

    [–][deleted] 9 insightful - 1 fun9 insightful - 0 fun10 insightful - 1 fun -  (8 children)

    Motherhood sucks. The only people who should consider partaking are women with large amounts of f— you money.

    [–]Realwoman 6 insightful - 1 fun6 insightful - 0 fun7 insightful - 1 fun -  (7 children)

    Many women want to have children. Please don't diminish us. Also, many women are desperate to have children, that's why infertility hurts them so much

    [–]msteacherlady 3 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 0 fun4 insightful - 1 fun -  (2 children)

    This is one of the things that has bugged me about radfem spaces - and I'm not well read enough to know if antinatalism is a major philosophical standpoint of radical feminism. I'm a mom, a mother of a boy. Some really weird shit has been said to me about these aspects of my life on gender critical forums, though they don't seem to be popular opinions at least. However, the low key vibe seems to be against biological motherhood by choice.

    I'm really shocked by the "fuck you money" comment above because I have a former colleague who quit when she came into fuck you money (her words) and after a few years of medical intervention, finally has given birth to her baby. I mean, though our values are quite different I don't really have major beef with her, but I've been teaching the children of "fuck you money" for several years now, and I don't think they are necessarily better off. The kids just sell and do different drugs than the low income kids I used to teach, get into fatal car wrecks in more expensive vehicles, and there's a dramatic suicide in our district almost every damn year.

    [–][deleted] 4 insightful - 1 fun4 insightful - 0 fun5 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

    Well, when I say "fuck you money", I'm talking about having necessary funds on hand so that one may escape abusive spouses, families, jobs, etc.. I personally had the misfortune of being trapped with both an emotionally abusive ex and parents who weren't that much better. My job paid too little for me to survive independently, but "too much" to qualify for welfare. It's hell on earth to be saddled with a kid and dependent on people who treat you like garbage day in and day out. I'm "out" of that situation for the most part, but I'll never reclaim all the youth I wasted because I got knocked up at 26 with a useless bachelor's degree. My stupidity astounds me in hindsight. I stupidly trusted my partner and believed all his promises, which turned out to be total LIES. Many men LIE in order to make sure they have their precious male heirs. It's like a machismo thing to father a child for some men. I figured my partner would provide more support if I went back to school-- WRONGWRONGWRONG. I figured if I hit hard times, there was a social welfare network to help me out. WRONG WRONG WRONG.

    Once you're a mother, you are vulnerable to immense family pressure, partner pressure, social pressure, to do nothing but serve others, put all your needs on the back burner, and to throw your future in the trash.

    [–]Realwoman 3 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 0 fun4 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

    Well said

    [–][deleted] 3 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 0 fun4 insightful - 1 fun -  (3 children)

    Meh, I don't want to diminish people who want to have children... but I'd strongly advise any woman who's not wealthy against it. Having a child will cripple your earning potential and mobility, make you more likely to be tied to abusive partners/family, keep you trapped in jobs (health insurance) for much longer. I way underestimated how negatively it would impact my life, and I wasn't even planning on having kids, so it wasn't as if my perception was "rosy" to begin with.

    [–]Realwoman 3 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 0 fun4 insightful - 1 fun -  (2 children)

    If your kids were not planned, it makes sense that they restricted you. But many women do plan for kids and want them.

    Also, not everyone lives in the US where health insurance for your children is tied to your job. And even without children, I don't see how anyone can afford to lose health insurance in the US anyway

    [–][deleted] 2 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 0 fun3 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

    Many women who plan kids are hit blindsided once they arrive, as a lot of women aren’t told the reality of motherhood and how mothers are treated.

    [–]Realwoman 2 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 0 fun3 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

    And many others think that motherhood is the best part of their lives. I have a close friend that really wanted a baby, had a nightmare pregnancy and post partum depression. She loves her child more than anything and doesn't regret having her.