you are viewing a single comment's thread.

view the rest of the comments →

[–]worried19 23 insightful - 1 fun23 insightful - 0 fun24 insightful - 1 fun -  (4 children)

I really feel a lot of anger towards those women. They're hurting all of us, and their desire to celebrate acts of male violence and male domination is damaging the next generation of girls.

[–]vitunrotta 17 insightful - 1 fun17 insightful - 0 fun18 insightful - 1 fun -  (3 children)

In all fairness, I do feel irritated at these women as well - however, if you take one quick look at some of the most popular sites for teens/young adult (women), you'll see this kind of sex is now super in. In other words: it is being normalized violently and young people are not really famous for understanding which trends are fun and harmless and which are... well, not.

I am well past my thirties and even I felt a weird tinge of "guilt" (for the lack of a better word) because I did not feel I had any kinks or semi/full-on violent sexual desires. The lovely word "vanilla" is spread around the internet, referring to people (=women) who are not into rough acts in sex, or who simply don't have any kinks. And it's terrible to be vanilla! Nobody wants to be the LAME girl, come on now. So either you admit to yourself and everyone else that you're a lameass timid loser OR you start "liking" these kinds of kinks.

Back in my day (about 20 years ago) the absolute biggest thing was to get rid of your virginity ASAP and it felt like a horrible, terrible thing to still be a virgin e.g. at the ripe old age of 17. I'm sure this phenomenon still exists as well, but now you're supposed to exorcise that nasty evil spirit called "virginity" while being tied into a bed frame and being choked and slapped and spat on. Charming.

Please, let's not hate on these young women who have been brainwashed into thinking this is some kind of new normal (and that past generations have just conveniently noped the fuck out of someone CHOKING you while you're having sex because they were such prudes.) If you start reading about spitting, slapping and choking at a very young age, chances are you WILL start thinking it's normal and even though your mind & body tells you that you do NOT enjoy it, you feel like you have to - otherwise something is wrong with you.

I would point the massive blaming finger at publications that keep spouting this kind of bullshit without ever considering what these kinds of articles do to (especially) young people. And mind you, it is definitely NOT just Men's Health Magazine that does this. "Sex friendly" (=kink loving) articles are churned out en masse by a ton of different sites, some specifically made for women.

[–]worried19 4 insightful - 1 fun4 insightful - 0 fun5 insightful - 1 fun -  (2 children)

That's fair. I do put much more blame on adult women who should know better, who grew up in an era before this violence was normalized and who are trying to pass it down to the next generation. Obviously, I don't blame a 13 year old who has never known anything different. You'd think her parents would have taught her correctly, but maybe some parents don't talk much about this stuff. And if kids see something in porn, how are they to know anything about it? I'm still shocked young girls aren't massively disgusted and scared, but perhaps some of them are so damaged from other aspects of growing up female that they simply aren't able to correctly assess what's going on.

[–]PurpleAmathea 3 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 0 fun4 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

Why are you blaming adult women and not adult men? You think it's OK that men are passing down that it's okay to choke and slap and spit on your partner?

You have a very exaggerated idea of how easy it is for a woman, naked underneath a man, when the man suddenly starts choking her, to escape. It is easier for the woman to go along with it,, easier for her to rewrite what happened as her consenting.

What the fuck was wrong with the man though???????

We should empower women to say no but its far, far more urgent for the men to stop. The women need to be taught self defense (which is not always effective). But the men need to be taught not to be such fucking sickos. Its totally different scale of problems.

[–]worried19 3 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 0 fun4 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

I don't blame the women who are victimized by men unexpectedly. I blame the women who ask men to hit or choke them. Surely you've seen "choke me out, daddy" memes coming from adult women.