I know you didn’t reply to my post but you raise interesting points, namely peer pressure, brainwashing etc. My issue is, if as a society we keep on blaming all the outward temptations and influences, doesn’t this play right into the notion of infantilisation of women? We must protect and guide women as they’re incapable of making good choices for themselves, that’s my interpretation when we blame everything but individual responsibility.

I’m simply not buying spitting, choking and slapping has become normalised. I’m more inclined to believe these girls and boys have ferocious personality flaws that have been nurtured by neglect and likely substance abuse. It should be instinctive that you fight your way out of these kinds of abuse - not negotiate your limits with your partner. I can’t think of any other species that would surrender to this sort of treatment outside of a cage or laboratory.

We as women have access to so many positive role models now days, willingly subjecting yourself to strangulation, slapping and so on is a personal choice. Let’s not call these women victims, there’s real victims out there that truly have no choice.