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[–]Girlwiththeraventat 4 insightful - 1 fun4 insightful - 0 fun5 insightful - 1 fun -  (3 children)

Can I ask what made you decide on divorce?

[–][deleted] 16 insightful - 1 fun16 insightful - 0 fun17 insightful - 1 fun -  (2 children)

Like you I haven’t done it yet but it’s a goal. Honestly was planning to walk out this month( July 2020) but the pandemic and my job situation hasn’t worked out so well. So kind of stuck. I’m probably losing my job end of this month which I’m ok with since I have plenty of savings to tide me over but with no job getting my own apartment might be hard. My husband is a hoarder. Massive hoarder. It affects my mental health and in the end it affected my performance at work. I can’t keep up with his mess. I need to leave for my own health. Unfortunately this pandemic has caused issues with the plan, but I’m still working on it. Sometime in 2017, I just stopped picking up after him, so he kind of half assedly does clean up a bit, if he needs a glass for water and there isn’t a clean glass well sucks to be him I guess so he has been doing dishes. I got myself my own office and I just hide there Instead of deal with him and do mine and my kids laundry. When he doesn’t have any clean clothes, I’m like “ guess you’ll have to wash them”. So he does his own laundry.

I have to deal with my managers abusiveness at work as well on top of the hoarding at home and I’m losing my mind. The reason women are seeing their rights being taken is because we just don’t have the time dealing with work and home. And childless women are too keen to be seen as accommodating to do anything about it.

[–]jet199 9 insightful - 1 fun9 insightful - 0 fun10 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

This is why it's so dumb when feminist call women lazy or privileged for having cleaners. You have someone come in to do literally any other type of work and it's not even thought about but with cleaners there's essay after essay excusing or commending them. I even had one GC poster saying "my poor mother had to spend years cleaning up after lazy middle class woman." as though having a job (in a country where you have a choice of many jobs) was a form of oppression. I personally, work in accounts and have to deal with sorting out the receipts of many lazy men and women but don't see anyone trying to make a feminist issue out of those people using my services.

There's some very good arguments that first wave feminism only happened after the rise of the middle classes who could afford cleaners and cooks so the women had free time to concentrate on things like politics (middle income clearly isn't middle class is that instance).

[–]Amareldys 5 insightful - 1 fun5 insightful - 0 fun6 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Yeah, you don't see essay after essay about people using landscapers, or plumbers to do small repairs, or restaurants to cook your food, or dry cleaners, or handymen.