Upvote good, thoughtful comments that are not unduly mean! TRAs lost their ability to brigade and downvote ''sane TERFs'' on reddit to make us look more toxic. They're terrified people might see we're reasonable and it will work!

submitted by venecia from self.GenderCritical

sorted by:
top
newinsightfulfun
you are viewing a single comment's thread.

view the rest of the comments →

[–]RevengeOfTheCis 51 insightful - 2 fun51 insightful - 1 fun52 insightful - 2 fun -  (15 children)

Holy shit is this literally the third post TODAY telling us to be nice?

[–]venecia[S] 22 insightful - 3 fun22 insightful - 2 fun23 insightful - 3 fun -  (13 children)

I'm not nice. I'm just not on board with an obvious, almost pantomime version of what a ''TERF'' is getting to the top of the subsaiddit. It's what they want.

[–]RevengeOfTheCis 18 insightful - 1 fun18 insightful - 0 fun19 insightful - 1 fun -  (12 children)

What are you referring to, though? I haven't seen what you're describing and yet I've seen 3 posts just like this one in a single day. Can you provide an example?

[–]venecia[S] 10 insightful - 1 fun10 insightful - 0 fun11 insightful - 1 fun -  (11 children)

4th in place sorted by ''hot''

https://saidit.net/s/GenderCritical/comments/5kg9/to_all_of_you_trans_ladies_out_there/

[–]RevengeOfTheCis 40 insightful - 1 fun40 insightful - 0 fun41 insightful - 1 fun -  (10 children)

I mean it's a lame, low-effort post (sorry, original OP) but it's... not really comparable to what TRAs say to us. If THAT is the standard for "unduly mean" and "toxic" for women we are pretty much screwed, lol.

[–]quickbeam 22 insightful - 1 fun22 insightful - 0 fun23 insightful - 1 fun -  (8 children)

"Kill them with kindness" is an expression for a reason. It often works. And it especially works when there's an undecided person and they see one side screeching abuse while the other side is sitting there calmly expressing an opinion.

[–]RevengeOfTheCis 23 insightful - 1 fun23 insightful - 0 fun24 insightful - 1 fun -  (4 children)

I agree with that, never said I didn't.

What I'm taking issue with is that there have been multiple posts today saying we are mean, but I have not seen any posts that are mean in my opinion. The OP of this post cited an example for me of what she thought was mean, and in my opinion it was hardly mean compared to TRAs saying we should shut up by having lady dicks shoved in our mouths and that JK Rowling should be raped.

[–]quickbeam 8 insightful - 1 fun8 insightful - 0 fun9 insightful - 1 fun -  (3 children)

Just because something is less mean doesn't mean it isn't mean. LOL at the number of times I used the word "mean" in one sentence. Anyway, sometimes when you have the less popular view (at the moment - who knows whether it will be less popular once people see what's actually at stake) you have to display an almost unfair level of excellence to avoid having your views discounted. I've mentioned on other posts that I was a vegan in the early days when most people associated it with wild PETA actions. Some of those PETA actions may have raised awareness, but I think they also often turned people off veganism, whereas quieter, less confrontational education efforts like Vegan Outreach probably had a more net positive effect on turning people to veganism.

[–]RevengeOfTheCis 21 insightful - 1 fun21 insightful - 0 fun22 insightful - 1 fun -  (2 children)

We'll just have to agree to disagree that the post is mean. In my opinion, the post is low-effort, lame, and certainly not what I come here for, but I simply don't consider it mean.

But I definitely agree with you and see your point about how when you hold the less popular view, "you have to display an almost unfair level of excellence to avoid having your views discounted". That is very true!

[–]quickbeam 7 insightful - 1 fun7 insightful - 0 fun8 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

I'm all about agreeing to disagree. Take care and keep up the good fight!

[–]Marsupial 12 insightful - 1 fun12 insightful - 0 fun13 insightful - 1 fun -  (2 children)

Being calm and expressing an opinion is a different thing than what you're asking for. You're asking for meekly going along with their agenda because you're afraid of being viewed as "toxic". You're asking women to suppress their opinions, smile and be nice in order to get along, all because you didn't like the tone of one post. This is tone policing and more of the same old misogyny that women are not allowed to get angry or upset men or they deserve what's coming to them. This meekness you're suggesting is what lets TRAs take over subs on Reddit and move the boundaries in social media- people being afraid to speak up because "oh maybe it won't come across as nice!"

[–]quickbeam 4 insightful - 1 fun4 insightful - 0 fun5 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

I'm not asking for the things you say I am asking for. I'm asking us to treat other humans with the dignity and respect we want to be treated with. We don't have to agree with other people's opinions or accept just anyone into our spaces. But I see no purpose in lobbing insults at people. There's a very big difference between standing up for one's opinions with firmness and kindness and dignity on the one hand and with letting people walk over you with meekness on the other. Obviously I can't police your tone or affect the way you choose to speak. And I don't want to censor you either. I came to saidit precisely because I'm sick of policing speech on platforms. I just disagree with you on methods. That's all.

[–]missdaisycan 8 insightful - 1 fun8 insightful - 0 fun9 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

You know, I had to come back to this post cause something was eating at me about it. Your original post came off as INSTRUCTING people what to do (and why).
Express your opinions, describe your experiences and perspective, I'll read. Tell me what to do? Uh uh.
Pot/kettle AFAIAC

[–]venecia[S] 11 insightful - 1 fun11 insightful - 0 fun12 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

And I mean, there's a ton of women there agreeing with me that it looks like a fake post. You're welcome to see it another way. We agree that it's low effort!

[–]Marsupial 4 insightful - 1 fun4 insightful - 0 fun5 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Yeah, it's absolute nonsense.