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[–][deleted]  (6 children)

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    [–]Pomegranate 10 insightful - 2 fun10 insightful - 1 fun11 insightful - 2 fun -  (5 children)

    It's not possible to date or marry someone without prioritizing them. Do you believe heterosexual women should be abstinent? Do you think heterosexual sex is bad?

    Edit: Also, saying radfems can be heterosexual but they can't have BFs or husbands means you don't really believe they can be heterosexual. Having BFs and husbands is kinda the entire idea/point of being heterosexual.

    [–]Moirawr 4 insightful - 1 fun4 insightful - 0 fun5 insightful - 1 fun -  (4 children)

    To be blunt, yeah. Think of it this way, you wouldn’t say it’s a radical feminist position to encourage women to marry and sleep with men. But most people are hetero, and most women aren’t raised radical feminist so... it’s uncomfortable but she’s right. I’ve been in and out of the community for 7 years, I have a bf, it’s not like you can’t still participate or do activism that is in line with radical feminism. You just can’t say dating/marrying men is a radical feminist position. Is labeling yourself and being able to date men at the same time more important than having a consistent radfem theory? I took it personally at first but it is what it is.

    [–]Pomegranate 4 insightful - 1 fun4 insightful - 0 fun5 insightful - 1 fun -  (3 children)

    I'm not encouraging women to date and sleep with men or saying that's what radical feminism is. I just don't agree that being heterosexual is inconsistent with being a radical feminist. If I participate in radical feminism, do activism that is in line with radical feminism, agree with most all of the ideas and arguments, then I'm a radical feminist...unless I happen to be dating a man? Doesn't make sense to me. I never said dating a man is a radical feminist position or has anything to do with radical feminism. I just am one and happen to be dating a man, because I'm heterosexual so what else am I supposed to do besides be alone forever?

    Is labeling yourself and being able to date men at the same time more important than having a consistent radfem theory?

    Could you rephrase this question, please? I don't understand.

    [–]Moirawr 4 insightful - 2 fun4 insightful - 1 fun5 insightful - 2 fun -  (2 children)

    Sure. Say someone believes vegans are right about everything, they donate and do activism for it, but they also consume animal products regularly. Is that person a vegan? I think most people would say no. I also think some people would say that persons activism would make more impact than their personal choices and is still a good thing. Still wouldn’t say that person is a vegan though. No ones saying you have to be alone forever, it’s not about you, it’s about women as a class would be better off if we did not actively participate in perpetuating patriarchy via marriage, children, domestic labor, etc. so same as you cant be a vegan and eat meat, you can’t be a radical feminist and marry men, or be pro prostitution, or be anti abortion, etc. but that’s just my opinion on things, I think the vegan activist who is not personally vegan is better than zero awareness at all and that person doesn’t need to become pure or whatever, it’s difficult or sometimes impossible to perfectly follow any ideology to the letter.

    [–]Pomegranate 4 insightful - 1 fun4 insightful - 0 fun5 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

    "I'm a radical feminist and just happen to be dating a man" is as stupid to you as "I'm a vegan I just happen to eat meat" I don't know what to say, haha, that's so funny. That's such a funny metaphor. I appreciate your response, I definitely have a wider understanding of your position even if I do disagree. I have no argument though, I understand how you could feel that way. I just don't feel like I have much of a choice. I guess it would be like really wanting to be a vegan but suffering from a terrible disorder where you had to eat meat or you'd die.

    [–]Moirawr 1 insightful - 1 fun1 insightful - 0 fun2 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

    No problem, it’s how I understand it at least, maybe someone else could explain better. I realize it’s not the best but that’s I think the quickest/simplest way I can could explain it. Like I said I have a bf so I have what I would call “radical feminist views” and I don’t feel limited or bad about that. All it means practically speaking is I wouldn’t try to say having a bf is in any way radfem, I can still contribute in all other discussions as long as I’m not claiming my bf is special or our relationship is different and totally feminist, “not my Nigel” as it’s called. Lol yes, if we take it further the vegan eating meat is what it would be like! Except you wouldn’t die but that’s the problem with analogies, they only go so far. It’s true relationships are extremely important to humans as social animals, ideally a heterosexual radical feminist would have close friends/family that would replace that need, but we are stumbling further into my personal interpretation and as another user said it’s an ongoing argument, so I don’t mind agreeing to disagree.