i think intersectionality can be a great tool of analysis and it can even unite feminists if used correctly. the one problem i have with intersectionality is something that i think is more related to how people apply the theory than the theory itself. when i was a newbie to feminism i was part of an intersectional feminist collective at college. i remember countless times when certain women in the group simply were not allowed to disagree with anything that other certain women said. i'll give you 2 examples.

1. i have always been skinny and i know it's a good thing considering the beauty standards for women. however, i think i'm way too skinny and would like to have more curves. after all, being skinny doesn't necessarily = being 100% happy with my appearance. when i tried talking about this insecurity with my feminist peers, they called me names and said i was complaining about non-existing "skinny-phobia" and that fat women were the ones that had to deal with insecurities about their weight because "tumblr is full of skinny girls showing off their bones". i never mentioned any "phobias". i just wanted to talk about how i felt about my body.

2. on another occasion, i was talking with two black friends of mine (also part of the feminist collective) about a music video by a white singer. the video was a cover of "survivor", by destiny's child, and featured women from different races, sizes, ages and sexual orientations - they were all fans who volunteered, not hired models or anything. it was pretty much a feminist move from that singer. she had just left an asshole of a boyfriend and she even donated all the money from the video to a feminist NGO that helped vulnerable women. at some point in the video, the women were handed a red lipstick and they did whatever they wanted with it. some used it normally, other wrote "dyke" in their chest, others "ate" it and many painted their whole faces instead of using it to look "beautiful". my friends trashed this singer soooo much! they said she was a white bitch who was tokenizing black women, appropriating music from black women and wearing red lipstick, which according to them is the utmost representation of femininity. they also said things like "she's upper class, she knows nothing about being a survivor! her boyfriend is white trash" etc. on top of that they were really angry at white women at that particular moment because of some statistics about how black women were 10% more likely than white women to be killed. and of course they used it against the singer (like wtf?) i hadn't seen the video when they trashed it to me. when i got home, i saw it and loved it. so i wrote a post on my facebook saying i thought maybe they were wrong on their judgement and explained why. i did this politely because i didn't want to attack them - they were my friends after all - and i didn't even mention any names, just said "i had a converstaion with some friends about this music video and i disagree". i just wanted them to think about that issue. their response? "you're silencing us"

this is the sort of thing i hated about being part of an intersectional feminist collective. i was not allowed to disagree. i had to say "amem" to everything all the time because i'm white/skinny and i have it better. i couldn't question anything, i couldn't even ask questions because "no one has the obligation to explain anything to you". i eventually got sick and tired of that group and left after another "shut up and agree" discussion involving cultural appropriation.

although i've had a bad experience with that particular collective, i still think discussing various issues regarding the differencies in material reality of different groups of women is very important and useful. however i also think people need to chill the f out. humans can't change their minds after reading some comments on facebook. it takes time and a lot of reflection.