Hang in there, your life is not ruined! You are just passing through the crisis point right now, which is incredibly painful and confusing, and feels like the complete disintegration of self. Remember that it is only the disintegration of the false self (literally detangling (stopping integrating) things that are not true and not you into perception of self), built on a faulty premise absorbed from a society which for a variety of reasons has built up some very funny ideas at this time. What will remain afterwards will be you, and you can go from there.

I have been there too, several times in my life, although I am a desister not a detransitioner. It is incredibly hard but you will get through it, and while you may feel more alone for a while, the clarity about who you are and what society is doing will allow you to attract other people and take other paths that have similar clarity. It took me a couple of years to get over, honestly, but now I am in a much better place than I ever was before, due in large part to the experience. It was like a massive, violent exorcism of my baggage. I think of it almost like the shamanic concept of ego death, but played out in a really concrete, not very woo way.

This is what I hope for you too. You are strong enough to do this! And even if you don't feel you are, as I felt I wasn't, it is already forcing you to become strong, to find depths in yourself you never knew were there, and afterwards you will always have that strength, because you've developed and earned it. Good luck!